(no subject)
I've been suffering from anxiety for the passed 2 years or so and from what I've been reading, I've probably suffered from post-partum depression as well.
I was terrorized of being left alone with Nathaniel, lest something to him. I was not comfortable going out in public alone with him because it filled me with fear. I couldn't function at work because I was sure I was suffering from each of the same symptoms that lead the death claims were receiving.
Aside from family events, which occur once every 2 months, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I participated in social events with friends. I feel like an horrible mom and an even more horrible spouse.
I have not met with a professional, but I'm pretty sure this is not entirely normal if I were healthy.
I'm trying to get better on my own. Last fall, my doctor prescribed Xanax in a very low dose (the smallest dose available, which the pharmacy didn't even carry. I had to split the pill in two, I also only took it as needed, and I didn't want to use it that much).
I took a dose while pregnant before I even knew I was pregnant. Baby Catherine is perfect in all aspect BUT she was born with a sacral dimple... which could mean she has Spina Bifida... which could be caused by the Xanax.
I'm flipping out even though the doctor who checked her at the hospital told me about the dimple while adding that I had nothing to worry.
You can add feeling guilty and scared for the health of my offspring to the ever growing list of things making me feel mentally ill.
I heard upping my vitamin B could help with many of the physical symptoms I'm having due to anxiety... even keep the anxiety at bay... wouldn't that be nice.
I hope Catherine will love me no matter what the outcome will be regarding her future health :(
I'm thinking having a journal might be a good idea. Talking to the doctor when consulting for Catherine might also be a good idea... maybe even consulting a psychologist if need be... I want to be a good mom at some point!
I was terrorized of being left alone with Nathaniel, lest something to him. I was not comfortable going out in public alone with him because it filled me with fear. I couldn't function at work because I was sure I was suffering from each of the same symptoms that lead the death claims were receiving.
Aside from family events, which occur once every 2 months, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I participated in social events with friends. I feel like an horrible mom and an even more horrible spouse.
I have not met with a professional, but I'm pretty sure this is not entirely normal if I were healthy.
I'm trying to get better on my own. Last fall, my doctor prescribed Xanax in a very low dose (the smallest dose available, which the pharmacy didn't even carry. I had to split the pill in two, I also only took it as needed, and I didn't want to use it that much).
I took a dose while pregnant before I even knew I was pregnant. Baby Catherine is perfect in all aspect BUT she was born with a sacral dimple... which could mean she has Spina Bifida... which could be caused by the Xanax.
I'm flipping out even though the doctor who checked her at the hospital told me about the dimple while adding that I had nothing to worry.
You can add feeling guilty and scared for the health of my offspring to the ever growing list of things making me feel mentally ill.
I heard upping my vitamin B could help with many of the physical symptoms I'm having due to anxiety... even keep the anxiety at bay... wouldn't that be nice.
I hope Catherine will love me no matter what the outcome will be regarding her future health :(
I'm thinking having a journal might be a good idea. Talking to the doctor when consulting for Catherine might also be a good idea... maybe even consulting a psychologist if need be... I want to be a good mom at some point!