#83 - Merry Christmas 2009.
...December 25, 2009...
Dearest Family and Friends,
In 2003, a distinguished opinion writer of one of the top Philippine dailies left his column space blank--his own way of stating his fearless perspective (or lack-of it) over the then issue of Noli De Castro running for a stake at higher public office in the 2004 elections. I remember reading that issue; there was a whole block of white space in the middle of a sea of words in the opinion section! Conrado de Quiros made quite an impression for his "loss" of words.
For this year's Christmas letter, I'm actually tempted to pull a Conrado de Quiros: Leave this entire letter blank after just a line of a "Merry Christmas" well-wish for everyone. Of course, I'd be coming from a completely different context from Mr. De Quiros. He was politically oriented when he did that, while I, on the other hand, simply find it utterly difficult to write about the year that was, as per tradition. If you've gotten to know me better these past few years, I've grown more and more quiet, more and more reserved. I'm finding it harder each time to share and disclose matters close to my heart. I'm afraid of being misconstrued and misunderstood. Not to mention that 2009 wasn't exactly the best year---I look back and the first thing that slams to my face are the heartaches and unfortunate events, personal and otherwise, as they were many.
But as I sit down and reflect, I am left with a persuasive thought, that perhaps this is the real meaning, albeit challenge of the season... To see hope, light, joy and love in everything big and small, and find reason to be better amidst the sea of troubles.
But let's be honest, it is such a profound thought. It is not the easiest thing to do. It gets trickier each time to see silver linings in shades of gray. So I've been thinking, how do I make this challenge more real and attainable? The answer that I came up with was inspired by one of my Mom's basic rules: "WHEN IN DOUBT, GO BACK TO THE BASICS." In this light, I thought that if I could list down at least 3 things that I am truly, most thankful and grateful for this year, then I have enough reason to claim that I am one, absolutely lucky girl.
And you know what? Just when I thought that heartaches and storms were abound, slapping and slamming my face ridiculously, I was proven otherwise.
When I started listing down and reflecting on at least 3 things that I am truly, most thankful and grateful for this year, I learned, more than anything that yes, 2009 wasn't the "best" year for my family or myself especially, but it wasn't as bad as I initially thought it was. There were a lot of reasons to smile despite all the blows. I realized that no matter how seemingly sad or heartbreaking and consecutive all these trauma-inducing, collective events have been, there have been delightful surprises along the way too.
The fact that there are simple joys and blessings in seemingly dire circumstance definitely make things better. Even if things could be up to your nose, breathing spaces and simple pleasures come about, we just sometimes don't notice. It's a very comforting thought too, that after all the hardships and troubles, victories become sweeter, no matter how small. And the sweet-small, respective and collective victories, kind of erases the slams and slaps of fate. You also learn how to value things, opportunities and people better.
2009 was a journey, and surviving it through prayers (lots of prayers!), living, loving and learning makes you smile and say, "For what it's worth, I'm alive, I am blessed. It's all good. I am Invictus. Life is what I make out of it"
I also ended up listing down more than 3 things, so yes, I'm quite a lucky girl indeed, in spite and despite of! :)
Allow me to share with you, very briefly, three of the many things I was able to list down. I am most grateful and thankful for...
1. Friends
I made a lot of new friends this year. I was also given opportunities to deepen ties and better relationships with the people around me, near and far. I am always pleasantly surprised and moved when people would go out of their way for me or my family. There were many times that friends---old and new---dropped by to show support, inspire, share happiness and love. Friends made the hardships bearable and even pleasant this 2009.
I'm an only child but I've a lot of adopted brothers/sisters in the form of friends--and they come in all shapes and sizes and age variants at that! My parents' good friends make me feel like I'm also their daughter. And I am ever so thankful and grateful for these wonderful people.
2. Family
If there is something in this world that I hold so dear to my heart right now, it is my family,They are my absolute treasure chest. It is because of them that I feel like the richest person on earth, even during the times when there's only Php20 left in my wallet.
I'm so proud to say that my family has stuck together and remained strong supporters of and for each other. There's a quote from one of my favorite Disney movies, Lilo and Stitch, that goes like this: "Ohana means family, family means no one is left behind or forgotten." And this is how we've been as far as I can remember. Even during crises, or especially during crises, everyone stands firm and strong in support for the other.
I'm particularly thankful and grateful this year because there have been a lot of tears for me, and each time I cried, my family also cried with me. They prayed with me and cheered me up. They were such a constant force of encouragement during the many times of struggles. They never fail to emphasize that no matter what, they remain my biggest supporters. So how could I not consider myself blessed when I have such a loving family?
I am also grateful that I got to know each and everyone in my family better. We're not perfect, we have our heated arguments and moments just like every other family, but this year in particular, I've come to understand where each and everyone is coming from more.
3. Tatay is alive
It has been 3 years since Tatay was diagnosed with cancer and had suffered from a stroke. And I look back and remember how delicate and fragile the situation was for him. He could've gone then, but he's still alive. And he's happily inspiring people everywhere we go. I must say that he still greatly inspires me.
This miracle is something I thank God for, year in and year out since 2006. I may come off as repetitive, but I cannot express my gratitude enough. I honestly couldn't really imagine a life without Tatay, especially during the past three years. Yes, his professional presence is no longer, but how he never fails to be the most wonderful father and friend, even in his disability.
I was kidding him this morning, I told him, "Tatay, let me tie ribbons around your face and neck, and allow me to take your picture!" And he vehemently denied this request... "No. No. No. Me man. Am not agi!" He said. Laughter ensued, but I was pesky and insisted. "Please?... See, it's not about being a boy or girl or agi," I went.
"I just want to tie ribbons around your face and neck, because... you're a present. You being alive... is one of the best presents I ever received this year."
And he gave me a very warm, tight bear hug, with the only able arm he has--his left arm. Even with just one arm around me, I felt the the completeness of his love and affection.
* * * I hope that we may never be blinded by the material desires, never be jaded by bad experiences. Remember that if we have at least 3 things we are truly grateful and thankful for, we are one of the luckiest people alive.
We are always blessed, we just have to learn how to pause, and appreciate the things around us. May we always see hope, light, joy and love in everything big and small, and find reason to be better amidst the sea of troubles.
In behalf of the Alojipans of Paranaque and our household, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!
Best regards,
Mitzi Alojipan
