Suicide is Painless
Kim awoke to find Chase's arm draped over her and the feel of his breath against her neck. She feels peaceful and content. Briefly she wonders how he got into her room but she figures that she must have left the door open.
She touches his hand and interlocks their fingers.
A phone rings. She sits up. There are no phones in Milliways. But this looks just like her room. She picks up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Kim, it's Tony."
"Tony? Why are you calling?"
"I just wanted to say goodbye."
"What?"
"I didn't mean to hurt any of you and I hope that you can all forgive me."
"Forgive you for what?"
"The blade's so sharp."
"Tony..." increasing panic and Chase is still asleep. "Tony please don't..."
"I can't see any other way to forget, Kim. I think things will be better when I'm gone."
"Tony, where are you? Please tell me where you are and I'll..."
"You'll what? Save me?" There's a harsh edge to his voice.
"I'll try."
"Really? You're gonna fix what happened to me, gonna make it all better? You ran away at the first sign of trouble. You never really cared about me."
"That's not true." She denies
"Everyone knows that you never *really* care about anyone. How fast did you leave Chase? Or how about your dad? Where were you when he needed you?"
"I was..."
"Too wrapped up in your own pain. But that's okay because you won't have to pretend to worry about me anymore."
"Tony...please don't. I care about you." She's grabbing onto the phone, her hand is starting to hurt and her other hand is clutching the sheets.
"It's not enough. But it would have never been enough. Don't worry, Kim, suicide is painless." He laughs a little, a low laugh and one that sends shivers up her spine and makes the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.
"Tony, there's so much -- "
Another phone's ringing. She's walking down a hallway and the phone rings at her hip. She can hear Tony breathing. He's still alive, but this phone call...
She stops at the door of the bathroom. "Hello?"
"Kim..."
"Dad?"
"I'm sorry, sweetheart."
"What?"
"I've hurt so many people. I've ruined so many lives..."
"Dad, that's not true."
"No, it is. You know it's true. You met Christine. You tell me I didn't ruin her life. Her family's life."
"That wasn't your fault..."
"But it's okay because I know how to fix things."
"What?" And her hand's on the door knob and if she opens the door she can save Tony, she knows she can, she just has to open the door.
"They want justice, Kim, and I'm going to give it to them."
"Justice?"
"An eye for an eye."
She hears the sound of a bullet being loaded into the chamber.
"You don't have to do this," she sounds so scared, so young.
"But then everything will be better. You can go on with your life, Christine can move on...this is the only way."
"Dad, don't, please, I can't lose you. Where are you?"
"Why? So you can *save* me? I'm a murderer, Kim, I've killed innocent people."
"You had no choice."
He half-laughs and half-sobs into the phone. "That's the best you can do?"
"I love you, I forgive you, I need you..."
"You only think you do. You don't know who I really am."
She sinks down to the floor, water begins to soak through her clothes.
"Please, dad..."
"I'm sorry, Kim. Goodbye."
She hears a gunshot and the water's rising.
"Please, don't..." Kim's mumbling in her sleep and then wakes up, her clothes are drenched with sweat and her hands hurt from having them in fists. She opens her hand to see half-moon marks on her palms.
She sits up, brushing back wet hair and covers her face with her hands.