*bangs head on keyboard*
I really should stop hanging around Yahoo!Answers for awhile. Kids on my lawn are driving me crazy.
Exhibit A:
LITERARY AGENTS NEEDED!?
I need a literary agent badly! They need to be interested in new teenage authors. Also interested in short story collections, that are... A bit twisted.
Don't we all need a literary agent, honey. And that's not a question, and therefore I didn't use a question mark. Go out and find one, because they're not going to knock on your door. Short story collection? Yeah, I've got eighteen stories sitting on my hard drive that would love to be in a collection. Collections for unknown authors don't happen. Get off your hiney and start subbing to publications. Be prepared for rejection. Lots of it.
Exhibit B:
Where can i get paid to write short stories?
I'm looking for information or links to journals, magazines, publishers seeking short stories. I will write anything including erotic stories for pay!
Yeah, hey, if you can find that Magical Journal that was actually seeking short stories the way you mean it, point me that way. That ain't how publishing works. Write the story and then start sending it out. Those guys aren't going to knock on your door either.
Exhibit C:
Why do I suck at writing stories?
I am great at poetry and essays (I'm not being conceited; I'm just stating the facts. lolz) and I am also great with coming up with story ideas (not in my opinion, but according to other people.). But, when it comes to actually trying to write a story, I always get frustrated at myself and give up! I keep comparing my writing to authors I love, which I know I shouldn't do. I should find my own writing style and not try to imitate others, but I can't help it!
Do you think that novels spring, fully-formed and complete, from the foreheads of writers? NO. Months and sometimes years of blood, sweat, tears, booze, swearing, and revision after revision after revision after revision. Sure, what you buy in the bookstore, penned by your favorite author, is going to be brilliant--they didn't just whack out a first draft and send it in. Their first drafts suck too, believe me.
Good god.
Exhibit A:
LITERARY AGENTS NEEDED!?
I need a literary agent badly! They need to be interested in new teenage authors. Also interested in short story collections, that are... A bit twisted.
Don't we all need a literary agent, honey. And that's not a question, and therefore I didn't use a question mark. Go out and find one, because they're not going to knock on your door. Short story collection? Yeah, I've got eighteen stories sitting on my hard drive that would love to be in a collection. Collections for unknown authors don't happen. Get off your hiney and start subbing to publications. Be prepared for rejection. Lots of it.
Exhibit B:
Where can i get paid to write short stories?
I'm looking for information or links to journals, magazines, publishers seeking short stories. I will write anything including erotic stories for pay!
Yeah, hey, if you can find that Magical Journal that was actually seeking short stories the way you mean it, point me that way. That ain't how publishing works. Write the story and then start sending it out. Those guys aren't going to knock on your door either.
Exhibit C:
Why do I suck at writing stories?
I am great at poetry and essays (I'm not being conceited; I'm just stating the facts. lolz) and I am also great with coming up with story ideas (not in my opinion, but according to other people.). But, when it comes to actually trying to write a story, I always get frustrated at myself and give up! I keep comparing my writing to authors I love, which I know I shouldn't do. I should find my own writing style and not try to imitate others, but I can't help it!
Do you think that novels spring, fully-formed and complete, from the foreheads of writers? NO. Months and sometimes years of blood, sweat, tears, booze, swearing, and revision after revision after revision after revision. Sure, what you buy in the bookstore, penned by your favorite author, is going to be brilliant--they didn't just whack out a first draft and send it in. Their first drafts suck too, believe me.
Good god.