Monday Maunderings.

Nov 23, 2009 12:49

Have a real snippet, this week. I'm cutting it not for length, but subject matter.

Ben is suicidal. Again. Please to be considering that a warning. )

oh julie frost no, snippets

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Comments 8

appomattoxco November 23 2009, 19:57:48 UTC
It's raining yet again. I'm hurting too much to look at anything with an edge right now.

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agilebrit November 23 2009, 20:00:01 UTC
*gentle hugs* Then you don't want to read this. I wish I had something fluffy to send your way, but I apparently don't roll that way anymore.

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garnigal November 23 2009, 21:16:06 UTC
Lovely and sad, with just enough sarcasm that it's still Ben.

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agilebrit November 23 2009, 21:20:51 UTC
I JUST WANT TO SNUGGLE HIM.

Not that he wants snuggling. He wants a TARDIS...

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lady_moriel November 23 2009, 22:16:25 UTC
He does? Man, I'm right there with him, then. Uh, can we see him and someone else geeking out over Doctor Who, then? Because that would be awesome.

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agilebrit November 23 2009, 23:45:34 UTC
Poor puppy:
"Hey, Ben. You all right, man?" Alex asked.
"Not particularly."
"What do you need?"
"For the last two and a half months to not have happened."
"Sorry, my time machine's in the shop."

... I wonder if I could get away with calling it a TARDIS. Because that would be awesome.

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ebenstone November 24 2009, 03:43:47 UTC
It's very, very strong. I'm not overly familiar with the story...sorry, I've got my own fishes I'm frying, though I am trying to be better at this sort of thing...anyway, I love the tone of this. It really works for me...I feel the conflict and desperation he's feeling in this. I can't decide if I like the sentence structure/paragraphing. (It could be a LJ formatting thing.) If it's not...I get it, I just don't know if I like it.

It's very good. I hope that helps!

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agilebrit November 24 2009, 13:38:36 UTC
Thank you! *squints* Ben gets fragment-y when he's stressed, and he's under a hell of a lot of stress at this moment. In fact, this scene should be even more fragment-y than it is.

See, this is why I post snippets like this. Because comments knock stuff loose. :)

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