I have an Idea for the
Temporally Out of Order antho that refuses to gel into a coherent Plot. Four hundred words in, and those words are awesome, but I have no idea where to go with it.
I'm also staring at everything else on my hard drive, hoping to find inspiration somewhere, and going "Nope, that one's broken, nope, that one's broken too, nope, that one is yet another Plotless Idea, oh hey look, yet another broken one, that one over there is about half-formed and needs way more brainstorming even though you've already scribbled ten thousand friggin' words in it..."
I don't know what to do. This year has been fairly terrible, writing-wise. I've scribbled 48,900 completed words across nine stories, which isn't even a story a month. I had twice as many words this time last year. It's been like pulling teeth, and it's making me miserable and snappish. I know we always say "give yourself permission to write crap and then fix it in post," but if it's fundamentally broken to begin with, I can't bring myself to write it. It's one thing to realize it's broken after that END goes at the bottom, but quite another to go into it with eyes wide open and deciding to write it anyway even though you know it will suck.
Only way out is through, I guess, but realizing that is not going to help me hit this deadline. Staring at the Submission Grinder, where I have 24 stories posted (and there's another on my spreadsheet that's not on the Grinder because it's an invite-only antho, and holy crap, I just visited the website of one of the editors and saw the
cover art. I want to be in this like burning). I'm seeing movement in places I'm subbed at, and I've flipped a rejected story once today, but it's not helping me with moving from Idea to Plot in any of these current Things I could have going.
So. Blah. Yeah, I know, cry moar, first-world writer problems, but you people really do not want to hear me whine about the actual important things in my life. Trust me.