(no subject)
I perpetually have a hole in my heart for friends that I no longer talk to, and lately I've been feeling it for two, specifically. Posting an LJ entry about it is a little selfish, because half the reason I'm doing it is in hopes that they'll see it, and the other half is a mixture of wanting to get it off my chest and possibly letting my LJ friends in on a little of my inner workings.
R and I were friends for a long time. His honesty was refreshing, and I had faith in him in the weirdest way; I could always trust him to be an asshole. He's a hypocrite (but aren't we all?) because he truncated our friendship because I, in my humanity, had emotionally toyed with his best friend, which is something he admittedly did with women many times before. I appreciate his loyalty, but I wish he'd have more compassion on me. I miss him.
I'm not sure what happened with J. He just up and stopped talking to me. I have a feeling it was because I didn't look as he'd expected me to. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. If I were proven wrong, however, it would be a welcome relief. I shared a lot with J. I thought we were good friends, and the hole I have for him is large, and painful. Very red around the edges.
I miss him too.
R and I were friends for a long time. His honesty was refreshing, and I had faith in him in the weirdest way; I could always trust him to be an asshole. He's a hypocrite (but aren't we all?) because he truncated our friendship because I, in my humanity, had emotionally toyed with his best friend, which is something he admittedly did with women many times before. I appreciate his loyalty, but I wish he'd have more compassion on me. I miss him.
I'm not sure what happened with J. He just up and stopped talking to me. I have a feeling it was because I didn't look as he'd expected me to. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. If I were proven wrong, however, it would be a welcome relief. I shared a lot with J. I thought we were good friends, and the hole I have for him is large, and painful. Very red around the edges.
I miss him too.