i'm almost there
by the time its thursday, i always kind of count the week to be over...so that means only 3 more weeks of my internship. and one of those weeks is in MIAMI! i can't believe i made it though this without going nuts. but i'm SO happy/proud i did.
and hey, okay, the money is nice too.
i learned that i do NOT want to be a consultant.
i learned that i do NOT want to sit at a desk all day and work on a computer.
i learned that i do NOT want to commute an hour to and from work every day.
i learned that i have to ABSOLUTELY love what i do for the rest of my life or i'll go crazy. seriously.
i learned that i DO want to be a PA more than EVER.
this may not have exactly been what they were going for as far as "learning objectives" but, hey, its my life so i'll learn what i need to learn.
even though this situation isn't what i want for the rest of my life, i've really had the chance to wrestle with my thoughts and worries and i feel like i'm stronger because of it. last night, i was reading this little book before bed, and it talked about not equating happiness with perfection - which is something i do all too often without even realizing it. instead of expecting people to be perfect, if i just simply take a few moments to think about what they HAVE rather than what they LACK then i am a much happier girl. i tend to focus so much on qualities or traits people lack that simply appreciating them for all that they are. i don't do this with everyone, or even lots of people - but our relationship suffers when i do this, whether they know it or not. this isn't a matter of "settling" for mediocre people - rather, its just not setting myself up for disappointment.
when we still lived in oklahoma, my mom bought us all journals for one valentine's day and they were our "grateful journals." every day we have to write two things in there that we were grateful for. i wrote in it for a good while before i stopped - i think i should start again. i think, especially after a summer of work away from my friends and boyfriend, that i will be even more appreciative of the small things.
i just have to stop looking for or expecting perfect - or even really close to perfect. and i'm learning how to do this.