Musings on writing...
Now that the reveals are up for the hp_canon_fest I can now announce that I wrote the only Petunia/Vernon fic, Secrets. (Is it the only Petunia/Vernon fic out there??? I've never seen one before. :P)
I think this was, quite possibly, the hardest thing I've ever tried to write. I don't know if any of y'all remember, but I angsted like woah over the writing of this fic. And when I say I angsted over this, I mean I angsted over it.
My first attempt started with the first line of the final version of the fic (Petunia Evans was perfectly normal, thank you very much, and she liked it that way.). Then I freaked out and said, "Who in their right mind would write Petunia/Vernon???" and put it away. Then I tried a different version of this fic (which had scenes alternating back and forth between Petunia/Vernon and Lily/James--kind of a compare and contrast kind of thing. Then I had two other different Lily/James fics, one of which was Lily/James from Snape's POV (*shudder*), a Molly/Arthur//Petunia/Vernon//Alice/Frank//Lily/James fic about the births of Ron, Dudley, Neville, and Harry respectively (I'm still going to write that one, although I'm considering adding Lucius, Narcissa and Draco into the mix, too), before I finally came back to this one--the idea would not leave me alone.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a fan of the Dursleys. I think the way they treated Harry is so wrong on so many levels, I can't even begin to count them. I love my nieces and nephews to bits, and if it ever came down to it and we needed to take two (there are two sets of siblings, and we absolutely would not separate them!)--or all of them--in, I'd do it in a heartbeat. So I just don't get the Dursleys, you know?
But lyras said she had a bit of a soft spot for Petunia (although it didn't extend to Vernon), so I wanted to try to see if I could make Petunia appear at least a little bit sympathetic. I wanted to see if, maybe, even though Petunia was horrible to Harry, we could see some sort of reason as to why she (and maybe Vernon, too) treated Harry they way she did. I'm not sure if I succeeded, but it was an interesting exercise, for sure.
One of my betas told me that Petunia wasn't nasty enough in this, and I can't necessarily say I don't agree--she's not as nasty as she is in canon...yet. Except for the very last section, this story takes place pre-Philosopher's Stone. By the time we meet Harry and the Dursleys in canon, she and Vernon have put up with her freak of a sister's freaky son for ten years. If Vernon reacts as badly to magic as he appears to in canon, having Harry appear on their doorstep has to have put a horrible strain on their marriage. And Petunia is now taking care (it's a bit of a stretch to call it that, I know) of her sister's son--her abnormal son--and we see in canon that Petunia is jealous and bitter over Lily already, without the added burden of Harry, especially a Harry who can do magic.
So I started with a Petunia who was insecure and who craved normality--something that would set her apart from Lily--and went from there. I wondered why she'd want to marry Vernon, who doesn't sound remotely attractive to me in either looks or in personality. In this story, at least, he offered her exactly what she needed--Vernon is as "normal" as you can get, with his job and sister and no knowledge of magic. Plus, he fed her ego. He made her feel beautiful and worthy, and, for once, better than Lily.
I do think Vernon loves her...in his own way. And I think she loves him back. But I don't see their love as a grand, sweeping, epic romance. I see them both as being more pragmatic and practical, which is one of the reasons Vernon proposed in such a businesslike manner. When I was writing that scene, it was a way for Vernon to show Petunia that he appreciated her, that he knew what she was bringing into their relationship was valuable. He was also having a bit of a confidence crisis himself (in the fic) and so proposed like he did to protect himself from rejection. If she'd said no (as if!), then he'd at least made a good impression with his coworkers.
Is this the real Petunia--JKR's vision of her? I don't know, of course. But it was logical to me--I didn't feel like I had to stretch her character at all to get her to fit into this version of her.
And there was your tl;dr explanation of my thought processes while I was writing this. :P
I think this was, quite possibly, the hardest thing I've ever tried to write. I don't know if any of y'all remember, but I angsted like woah over the writing of this fic. And when I say I angsted over this, I mean I angsted over it.
My first attempt started with the first line of the final version of the fic (Petunia Evans was perfectly normal, thank you very much, and she liked it that way.). Then I freaked out and said, "Who in their right mind would write Petunia/Vernon???" and put it away. Then I tried a different version of this fic (which had scenes alternating back and forth between Petunia/Vernon and Lily/James--kind of a compare and contrast kind of thing. Then I had two other different Lily/James fics, one of which was Lily/James from Snape's POV (*shudder*), a Molly/Arthur//Petunia/Vernon//Alice/Frank//Lily/James fic about the births of Ron, Dudley, Neville, and Harry respectively (I'm still going to write that one, although I'm considering adding Lucius, Narcissa and Draco into the mix, too), before I finally came back to this one--the idea would not leave me alone.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a fan of the Dursleys. I think the way they treated Harry is so wrong on so many levels, I can't even begin to count them. I love my nieces and nephews to bits, and if it ever came down to it and we needed to take two (there are two sets of siblings, and we absolutely would not separate them!)--or all of them--in, I'd do it in a heartbeat. So I just don't get the Dursleys, you know?
But lyras said she had a bit of a soft spot for Petunia (although it didn't extend to Vernon), so I wanted to try to see if I could make Petunia appear at least a little bit sympathetic. I wanted to see if, maybe, even though Petunia was horrible to Harry, we could see some sort of reason as to why she (and maybe Vernon, too) treated Harry they way she did. I'm not sure if I succeeded, but it was an interesting exercise, for sure.
One of my betas told me that Petunia wasn't nasty enough in this, and I can't necessarily say I don't agree--she's not as nasty as she is in canon...yet. Except for the very last section, this story takes place pre-Philosopher's Stone. By the time we meet Harry and the Dursleys in canon, she and Vernon have put up with her freak of a sister's freaky son for ten years. If Vernon reacts as badly to magic as he appears to in canon, having Harry appear on their doorstep has to have put a horrible strain on their marriage. And Petunia is now taking care (it's a bit of a stretch to call it that, I know) of her sister's son--her abnormal son--and we see in canon that Petunia is jealous and bitter over Lily already, without the added burden of Harry, especially a Harry who can do magic.
So I started with a Petunia who was insecure and who craved normality--something that would set her apart from Lily--and went from there. I wondered why she'd want to marry Vernon, who doesn't sound remotely attractive to me in either looks or in personality. In this story, at least, he offered her exactly what she needed--Vernon is as "normal" as you can get, with his job and sister and no knowledge of magic. Plus, he fed her ego. He made her feel beautiful and worthy, and, for once, better than Lily.
I do think Vernon loves her...in his own way. And I think she loves him back. But I don't see their love as a grand, sweeping, epic romance. I see them both as being more pragmatic and practical, which is one of the reasons Vernon proposed in such a businesslike manner. When I was writing that scene, it was a way for Vernon to show Petunia that he appreciated her, that he knew what she was bringing into their relationship was valuable. He was also having a bit of a confidence crisis himself (in the fic) and so proposed like he did to protect himself from rejection. If she'd said no (as if!), then he'd at least made a good impression with his coworkers.
Is this the real Petunia--JKR's vision of her? I don't know, of course. But it was logical to me--I didn't feel like I had to stretch her character at all to get her to fit into this version of her.
And there was your tl;dr explanation of my thought processes while I was writing this. :P