last day of school
This is weird...in like an hour and a half, I'm taking my last final exam, and finishing my time @ McDaniel College.
I have to say...it's been a good run. At this point, yeah, I'm getting a little sad about leaving and whatnot, but it's time. I'm ready to grow up...whether or not I'm willing to admit it. I have a job, I have bills to pay, I have a ticket into grad school (and NYC), and I'm going to have an awesome summer with new friends and with Don. Best, when things change, to just go with them and embrace it. It's in our nature as people, especially my nature as a reminiscent person, to try to hang on to what we have for as long as we can. Who's not to say that what's ahead could be better? Surely it is...life holds so much more for us than we realize.
Can't help but feel this impending sense of anxiety, however. Change never comes easy. I think I'm subconsciously VERY afraid of what's ahead, and if I feel that way, I'm just going to let it be. I can't help it. I'm scared. I'm doing this alone...and I'm doing it at a time where I just wanna be around others. My appreciation for humanity is immense at this point...if it weren't for people, my existence would have no point whatsoever. So, I just fear being alone. I'm finally, for once in my life, NOT feeling so alone...but I know in 4 months, I will be.
I feel like if I just knew someone who was moving WITH me...ugh. But things are never that easy. I don't get to have my cake and eat it too. But i'll make new friends, and get a new job, and have a NEW LIFE. that'll be cool. People can always come visit me. Maybe I'll love it so much that I'll stay there.
I'm so scared to move. And I don't feel like anyone knows this. People just assume that because I really want to be there, I'll be fine. But right now, I'm not fine. Right now, I just need my friends.
And I feel like none of them can hear my cries.
If this is what it's going to be like, I guess I'd rather know now, rather than later.
At 10:00 am, my summer officially begins....
Here's hoping it's the best one. ever.
I have to say...it's been a good run. At this point, yeah, I'm getting a little sad about leaving and whatnot, but it's time. I'm ready to grow up...whether or not I'm willing to admit it. I have a job, I have bills to pay, I have a ticket into grad school (and NYC), and I'm going to have an awesome summer with new friends and with Don. Best, when things change, to just go with them and embrace it. It's in our nature as people, especially my nature as a reminiscent person, to try to hang on to what we have for as long as we can. Who's not to say that what's ahead could be better? Surely it is...life holds so much more for us than we realize.
Can't help but feel this impending sense of anxiety, however. Change never comes easy. I think I'm subconsciously VERY afraid of what's ahead, and if I feel that way, I'm just going to let it be. I can't help it. I'm scared. I'm doing this alone...and I'm doing it at a time where I just wanna be around others. My appreciation for humanity is immense at this point...if it weren't for people, my existence would have no point whatsoever. So, I just fear being alone. I'm finally, for once in my life, NOT feeling so alone...but I know in 4 months, I will be.
I feel like if I just knew someone who was moving WITH me...ugh. But things are never that easy. I don't get to have my cake and eat it too. But i'll make new friends, and get a new job, and have a NEW LIFE. that'll be cool. People can always come visit me. Maybe I'll love it so much that I'll stay there.
I'm so scared to move. And I don't feel like anyone knows this. People just assume that because I really want to be there, I'll be fine. But right now, I'm not fine. Right now, I just need my friends.
And I feel like none of them can hear my cries.
If this is what it's going to be like, I guess I'd rather know now, rather than later.
At 10:00 am, my summer officially begins....
Here's hoping it's the best one. ever.