How I learned to stop worrying and love my hormones!

[ageofscience]

As I've mentioned, I'm working on a conference paper proposal on the use of oral contraceptives for menstrual suppression. Although paper is less about oral contraceptives themselves and more about why the idea of menstrual suppression is really messed up, in doing my research I've learned an awful lot about that little thing we call The Pill

Comments

[ageofscience]

Hello! This was a wonderful response, thank you for writing it! Also, I totally giggled at the guy I was seeing at the time I was taking the pill was an ass, so he could have been more so to blame for the moodiness anyway. Hehehe. How often that is the case!

It alwyas kind of baffles my mind when women use birth control as their only form of contraception, because yeah, I personally think prevention of STIs is almost always a more important factor. In purely safe-sex terms, to me, the slightly better rates of protection against pregnancy from the pill don't outweigh the fact that it a) doesn't protect you against STIs and b) actually increases your susceptibility to them, in many cases (apparently this is why the risk of cervical cancer is higher in women taking the pill?)

It also baffles my mind that most women seem to be stuck on the idea that condoms and the pill are the only two forms of contraception that exist. I think, "did you not have sex ed class in the seventh grade? What the hell?". In addition to regular sex ed about anatomy and such, a few times every year we always had a lady from the Teen Clinic coming to health class to talk to us about contraception. We did the standard "put a condom on a banana" but we also learned about spermicide and cervical caps and Norplant and IUDs and the sponge and the pill and abortion. We even learned about which ones you could use together to be double or triple protected. If memory serves, we even learned about dental dams, which in retrospect- seriously, go go Halifax public schooling! Plus then we'd learn all about the different STIs and how you could catch them / prevent them. Sometimes I forget that not everyone's sex ed experience was like that. Or maybe it just saddens me to think about the fact that not everyone's sex ed experience was like that.

Boys who pressure girls to go on the pill are pretty much my enemy #1. I think "seeya!" is a totally appropriate response to any guy who is so inconsiderate! And I think it's also so great that you respect yourself enough to say "this is not negotiable, ever". Good for you!

But yes. Information and empowerment to make our own choices- the key to all things!

[queencallipygos]

It also baffles my mind that most women seem to be stuck on the idea that condoms and the pill are the only two forms of contraception that exist. I think, "did you not have sex ed class in the seventh grade? What the hell?".

I read your praise of Halifax public schooling, and should probably point out a very good explanation for why people might be misinformed about contraception:

I live in the U.S. You were required to take a "health" class, but if you wanted to take the version that included lessons on sexual health you had to get permission from your parents. If you didn't, you were stuck with learning about the 4 food groups and hygiene.

[ageofscience]

Grrr. The politics of sex education is kind of one of the most infuriating things about the world today! I can't believe how different so many people's experience is from my own. We started learning about how the deed was done in the fourth grade! I think there might have been parental consent forms for the first year or two (except they had to give the sheet back if they DIDN'T want you to attend, rather than the other way around), but after that it was kind of like, "If parents don't like it, tough".

To think that kids are stuck learning about food groups when I was in a jr. high health class where people were asking, "can I use a diaphragm and condoms at the same time?' and the always adorable, "can a girl get pregnant from oral sex with a boy?" is really depressing to me! And then to also remember that not only is abstinence-only education is so pervasive, but abortion is almost NEVER discussed as an option, is kind of crazy to me.

[athoos]

"did you not have sex ed class in the seventh grade? What the hell?".

that is so funny. i have asked that question to soooooo many people, because i got decent sex-ed in grade 7 and 8. i long ago stopped being shocked when most people answer "no, i've never had sex-ed." but i am still dismayed by this fact! why is it that when the scare of AIDS/HIV was first catapulted into the media, that suddenly it became desperate for tweens to get sex-education, but now that HIV is more treatable/chronic than terminal, it's all hush-hush conservative-don't-teach-kids-about-sex attitude all over again?! [or am i being naive and narrow in my rationale?]

[ageofscience]

In some ways I feel like my school (or at least, the immersion program in my school) was kind of a lucky anomaly. I think our teachers thought it was important we get educated on the issue in our first language, but didn't want to break the "NO ENGLISH IN CLASS!" rules, so they were inclined to have guest speakers. This worked out really well, a) because we didn't know the guest speaker so we weren't afraid to ask them stuff we wouldn't ask our teacher. b) they didn't know us, so they weren't worried about upholding a Good and Proper image in front of us (I definitely remember one lady who worked in an emergency room talking to us about a girl coming in to the ER with some vegetable inside her- you don't hear that stuff from teachers!) and c) they obviously know a lot more than your garden-variety 8th grade health teacher, anyway.

I'd be interested to know whether sex ed is still taught so openly at my old schools. I'm really optimistic that it is, because there are some great resources in the community. But who can ever tell? Sometimes feel like I should get in contact with my old teachers and see what's new on these fronts!

[athoos]

sounds like you and i had very similar experiences in this area. i also attended a french immersion school for grades 6-8, and though i didn't stay in the immersion program past grade 6 [because i went into the enrichment program], i distinctly recall that we would have health classes specifically devoted to sex-education, and a "guest" speaker [usually one of the phys-ed teachers, but at least it wasn't our homeroom teacher] would talk to the class, and answer any questions in english. i recall the condom-on-the-banana demonstration, and i recall him bringing in examples of gyneocological equipment. he also talked about different contraceptive / STD-prevention options. overall, i thought my class treated the whole thing really maturely and respectfully. i don't understand the parental attitude that these facts of life should be hidden from kids who are beginning to experience puberty, and trying to understand their changing bodies and emotions.

[ageofscience]

Did the English kids in your school also have the guest speakers? I know ours did on occasion, but I think it was maybe once or twice instead of a few times a year. They were always so envious of our sex-ed classes!

Gynecological equipment, though, that's one road we didn't go down! Heh.

[sakuramochii]

texas cities (most of them) have a pretty straightforward sex-ed policy: abstinence only. it is utter BULLSHIT.
i'm glad i went to a more liberal school that at least taught us about safe sex... but that was only condoms, dental dams, and pictures of gonorrhea gone really, really bad on someone's penis/vagina/anus.
when i finally got to college (after educating myself through the internet about other methods of bc) my RA in the dorm got someone to explain the rest of the bc methods like the ring, the patch, the female condom, etc. this is one reason i'm glad i ended up in austin.. it's the only liberal county in the entire state.

[ageofscience]

Austin sounds like a really great city. I'm glad you ended up there too :)

I remember in the 8th grade we each got a colour chart with little pictures of all the various STIs and details about each one. Later in the afternoon the same day we had to watch a video that (and I have no idea how they did this) was taken from inside a woman's v, so you could see the penis going in and ejaculating and we were all like EW BARF! SICKEST THING EVER I'M NEVER DOING THAT! GROSS! To that health teacher's credit though, we also learned about homo sex in his class. And we all thought it was hilarious / stupid at the time, but in retrospect? That was some progressive stuff! Thank you, M. Doiron, wherever you are!

The ring and the patch seem so fandangled and new and scary to me! Eeep!

[blackacre]

You know, I honestly can't remember if I had sex ed in high school or not. Granted, it was 10+ years ago but I think that says something.

I can remember clearly that it was not covered in 7th grade health, and perhaps it was glazed over in my 10th grade health class...but other than that, these were option classes you could take in place of study halls.

But what is more disturbing is that in about 1990 my high school started offering a day care center. For students. And if you wanted to learn about child care, you could take classes where you got to go in and help the aides/moms take care of their kids. I actually remember a girl coming into my study hall asking to see if anyone wanted to join the class, and she encouraged boys to join because "they'll be fathers too someday."

Imagine this - no sex ed, but parenting classes. And plenty of options for girls that actually had their kids in high school (and hell, i recall some girls PLANNING pregnancies like, junior year.)

Just a thought.

[ageofscience]

I don't think the day care is necessarily a bad thing, if girls are going to have babies anyway. It's unfortunate that they're making that decision at such a young age, but I guess I'd rather them be able to still graduate high school and get an education so the baby thing won't *totally* destroy their lives, you know? I went to a small school and there were very few pregnancies, so it's not something we really had to deal with, I guess.

We had sex ed from grades 4-9. They stopped in high school both because health class was no longer mandatory, and also because by the age of 15/16, we didn't want to really hear our old, disgusting (heh) teachers talking to us about it when we knew a lot anyway.

Planning pregnancies at such a young age though is just... sad. I know that sounds judgmental, but I don't know a single person who had babies before 18 and didn't really, really regret it later on. My mum is 49 years old now, and she still regrets it!

[allscrapedup]

I met a girl my age recently who:
-works at planned parenthood
-volunteers at planned parenthood
-is a registered nurse
-has her own home and car
-had a kid when she was 14

This was so opposite from my stereotype of a "teen mom" that I basically can never be so judgmental again! Her life is 100 times more together than mine and she has an eight year old son!

[ageofscience]

I only wish that were the case more than like, 1% of the time :(

Often girls who have babies at such a young age DO turn out to be some of the strongest and most resilient people ever, because they kind of have to be. But I think the vast, vast majority wish things had happened differently ("regret" was probably the wrong word to choose).

Especially when I think about my mum, I get hung up on all the barriers these girls face. I know my mum's case is a bit extreme (pregnant at 17, married at 18, child with terminal illness at 22, divorce, single motherhood...) but I just can't not think about all the extra financial and emotional obstacles young moms face. Obviously having a child die/divorce/etc are not easy on anyone, but I just think that the hard stuff is too disproportionately hard on young mums because of... just the way this world is structured.

It just makes me sad, because even the garden variety "hard stuff" that everyone goes through like moving, or unemployment, or whatever, is like, a zillion times harder for those girls. I think it's great that some of them can make it through, but I think we still have to remember that it's so often NOT the case, and these girls still need tons and tons of support across the board!

[allscrapedup]

Yeah, I totally agree with what you're saying but I guess I was just pointing out the dangers of assuming that ALL teenage parents are sad about or regret or resent having a child. I definitely almost put my foot in my mouth a bunch of times during a conference because I kept almost generalizing teenage moms into one category laden with my own stereotypes, when that can be reallllly offensive to some people (who have been there, had a child at a young age and did NOT wish things had happened differently).

But yes, I do agree that teen parents definitely need lots and lots of support! Support that is usually not there for the most part..

[blackacre]

I definetly think the day care was a good thing. What I didn't think was good was the fact that there was no sex ed unless you were one of those few that happened to have kids! It was just backwards.

Oy.