POLITICAL PREDICTIONS - Election 2012 Edition! - Updated 8/22/11
Presidential Race: Perry will make his candidacy announcement Saturday, Bachmann has already announced hers, and they will combine into the nightmare Republican ticket. My bets are on Perry/Bachmann, but it could be the other way around. Looking at the field, I don't think anyone else has a chance. Please see Santorum, Ron Paul is a fucking joke, Newt is absurd, Mitt Romney is a Mormon and Evangelicals don't really like Mormons. Jon Huntsman is pretty much the only sane candidate, or he was the last time I looked, but that counts against a candidate these days. Also, he's Mormon, too. So. No chance. He's fucked.
I really want a Jimmy McMillan/Jonathon "Lord Ares" Sharkey ticket, though.
/
Can't you just see it? Epic facial hair and immense lulz and ZERO chance of winning.
Anyway.
The Republican field will squabble like retarded baby birds fighting to the death for their next crack fix, and by the time they get their shit together (again, probably Perry/Bachmann), it will be quite late in the game and they will have alienated any Independents they ever had a chance at wooing. But their frothing, radical base will get on their sooped up mobility scooters and buzz on up to the polls for them.
Ok, and the super rich, since these two whore themselves out for peanuts to the corporatocracy and the Old Boys. And the working class will continue its strange alliance with the GOP, since Perry and Bachmann also profess the usual GOP "family values" bullshit and will be supported by the fuckheads/emotional drugdealers who make up the fundie base's religious leadership (see Perry's not-at-all-political prayer party and his highly questionable ties). And blithering suburbanites will, too.
Palin will also try to make a splash in her public persona's death throes. She will embarrass the hell out of herself. And it will be funny.
Obama will probably campaign on "I'm not a Republican". He'll cruise to an easy victory, as he is both the sitting President and already has something like a billion dollars stashed away in campaign funds, and the Republicans are disorganized, super retarded, and hated by 82% of the population as is. Everyone's already forgotten that he frittered away a considerable amount of power by not really doing anything when both houses and the White House were controlled by the Dems, and that he's ultimately a snakier Bush. Also, that he toadies to the corporations just as much as the Republicans and is essentially predictable counts in his favor, as opposed to what I'm guessing is the most likely ticket, who are both mouth-breathing Tea Baggers and say all sorts of stupid shit.
Congressional Races:
I don't think the fighting that will erupt when the stopgap budget measure ends will endear Republicans to anyone but their base, either, who want everything to come down around our ears entirely because of God and Capitalism and The American Dreamtm anyway.
Congressional Democrats are going to try to look like they have a spine for once and attempt to draw a line in the sand on the budget issue, which will, in all probability, be erased and redrawn eighty billion times, pushing them back further and further into their corner with every change. I think loosing the South to the Republicans in the wake of the Civil Rights Movement and the following Southern Strategy made them more than a bit craven. They don't want to loose another huge part of their base by having the stones to take a stand. Not, ultimately, that they're all that different than the Republicans on a number of issues (sure, they talk the talk, but most of them don't walk the walk). I expect they'll pick up a bunch of seats again, assuming the Republicans continue to flail and shriek.
Republicans in Congress will continue to look completely insane and continue to suck every disease ridden corporate cock that comes their way and/or sits still long enough. So business as usual. Again, assuming they continue to ineffectually try to shift the blame for everything to the Dems, I think they'll loose pretty badly in the next election.
The economy will not improve, and, in fact, as that super fancy panel cuts things (everything, I think it's safe to say, but corporate welfare and medicare), shit will get worse. I foresee itsy bitsy cuts to the military (maybe), but that the majority of social safety nets will get raped to the point of being even more ineffectual. They'll also fail to close up tax loop holes and won't even consider raising taxes on the rich. The rich who, mind you, pay practically nothing in taxes in relation to how much they make. Our tax system is ridiculously, disgustingly regressive. Watch The Top One Percent. It will make you ill and angry and be a wake up call as to the severity of the situation - it's gotten even worse since the movie came ou.t Our credit rating will not actually improve and we'll bleed out even faster as the poor and middle class get fucked. The class divide will, accordingly, broaden and, accordingly, will get worse.
Oh, AND, no where is safe. CANADA! YOU'RE NEXT!
In short, we'll get what the country has been screaming for since Nixon! 1984 + Brave New World. Aren't you excited?
Things you won't hear used against the candidates:
I really want a Jimmy McMillan/Jonathon "Lord Ares" Sharkey ticket, though.
/
Can't you just see it? Epic facial hair and immense lulz and ZERO chance of winning.
Anyway.
The Republican field will squabble like retarded baby birds fighting to the death for their next crack fix, and by the time they get their shit together (again, probably Perry/Bachmann), it will be quite late in the game and they will have alienated any Independents they ever had a chance at wooing. But their frothing, radical base will get on their sooped up mobility scooters and buzz on up to the polls for them.
Ok, and the super rich, since these two whore themselves out for peanuts to the corporatocracy and the Old Boys. And the working class will continue its strange alliance with the GOP, since Perry and Bachmann also profess the usual GOP "family values" bullshit and will be supported by the fuckheads/emotional drugdealers who make up the fundie base's religious leadership (see Perry's not-at-all-political prayer party and his highly questionable ties). And blithering suburbanites will, too.
Palin will also try to make a splash in her public persona's death throes. She will embarrass the hell out of herself. And it will be funny.
Obama will probably campaign on "I'm not a Republican". He'll cruise to an easy victory, as he is both the sitting President and already has something like a billion dollars stashed away in campaign funds, and the Republicans are disorganized, super retarded, and hated by 82% of the population as is. Everyone's already forgotten that he frittered away a considerable amount of power by not really doing anything when both houses and the White House were controlled by the Dems, and that he's ultimately a snakier Bush. Also, that he toadies to the corporations just as much as the Republicans and is essentially predictable counts in his favor, as opposed to what I'm guessing is the most likely ticket, who are both mouth-breathing Tea Baggers and say all sorts of stupid shit.
Congressional Races:
I don't think the fighting that will erupt when the stopgap budget measure ends will endear Republicans to anyone but their base, either, who want everything to come down around our ears entirely because of God and Capitalism and The American Dreamtm anyway.
Congressional Democrats are going to try to look like they have a spine for once and attempt to draw a line in the sand on the budget issue, which will, in all probability, be erased and redrawn eighty billion times, pushing them back further and further into their corner with every change. I think loosing the South to the Republicans in the wake of the Civil Rights Movement and the following Southern Strategy made them more than a bit craven. They don't want to loose another huge part of their base by having the stones to take a stand. Not, ultimately, that they're all that different than the Republicans on a number of issues (sure, they talk the talk, but most of them don't walk the walk). I expect they'll pick up a bunch of seats again, assuming the Republicans continue to flail and shriek.
Republicans in Congress will continue to look completely insane and continue to suck every disease ridden corporate cock that comes their way and/or sits still long enough. So business as usual. Again, assuming they continue to ineffectually try to shift the blame for everything to the Dems, I think they'll loose pretty badly in the next election.
The economy will not improve, and, in fact, as that super fancy panel cuts things (everything, I think it's safe to say, but corporate welfare and medicare), shit will get worse. I foresee itsy bitsy cuts to the military (maybe), but that the majority of social safety nets will get raped to the point of being even more ineffectual. They'll also fail to close up tax loop holes and won't even consider raising taxes on the rich. The rich who, mind you, pay practically nothing in taxes in relation to how much they make. Our tax system is ridiculously, disgustingly regressive. Watch The Top One Percent. It will make you ill and angry and be a wake up call as to the severity of the situation - it's gotten even worse since the movie came ou.t Our credit rating will not actually improve and we'll bleed out even faster as the poor and middle class get fucked. The class divide will, accordingly, broaden and, accordingly, will get worse.
Oh, AND, no where is safe. CANADA! YOU'RE NEXT!
In short, we'll get what the country has been screaming for since Nixon! 1984 + Brave New World. Aren't you excited?
Things you won't hear used against the candidates:
- Bachmann: homosexuality > terrorism; her ties to the Ugandan movement which advocates killing homosexuals (8/22/11)
- Perry: "it takes balls to kill an innocent man" (why try to use something voters like against him?) ; "Texas can succeed if it wants to" (please to be taking a course in American history!), his investment in Movie Gallery, the largest distributer of porn in the entire country (which also produces hardcore "teen" and bisexual porn ["Teens with Tits, Vol. 1", "Teens Never Say No", "Bisexual Barebacking, Vol. 1", etc.) and was boycotted by the American Family Association for the porn and violent flicks - the funny/disgusting thing about the teen porn thing is that he accused a former opponent of not being above exploiting child tragedies for her own gain. (8/22/11)
- Obama: cracking down on whistle blowers, copyright treaty from hell, net neutrality shot to shit,