NO
MEMO
TO: Mother Nature
FROM: Regional Management
Madam -
I am confused - Procedures clearly state that no spiders be released before May 1. Can you explain to me why one of my tenants found an eight legged slathering beast staring at her in the shower this morning?
May I humbly suggest that if you are going to break procedure in the future, that you begin by staging the releases - Freeing the small and harmless to slowly endure the public before letting loose the quarter-sized, toothy sort. Sending a memo of warning out to the regional managers wouldn't hurt either.
Sincerely,
Your Minion
---------------------------------
TO: Madison Regional Manager
FROM: Department of Homeland Security
Please be aware that the spider sighted by your tenant has escaped from the hibernation facility and is armed and dangerous - Use extreme caution in approaching this creature. We advise that it be killed on sight.
TO: Mother Nature
FROM: Regional Management
Madam -
I am confused - Procedures clearly state that no spiders be released before May 1. Can you explain to me why one of my tenants found an eight legged slathering beast staring at her in the shower this morning?
May I humbly suggest that if you are going to break procedure in the future, that you begin by staging the releases - Freeing the small and harmless to slowly endure the public before letting loose the quarter-sized, toothy sort. Sending a memo of warning out to the regional managers wouldn't hurt either.
Sincerely,
Your Minion
---------------------------------
TO: Madison Regional Manager
FROM: Department of Homeland Security
Please be aware that the spider sighted by your tenant has escaped from the hibernation facility and is armed and dangerous - Use extreme caution in approaching this creature. We advise that it be killed on sight.