Au revoir mes amis
My soul has become so caloused with distrust, there are few people I want to think about anymore. Few people's face I want to see, few people's voices I want to hear. And it's very limited to people like me. Who get me. I understand it is difficult to be a friend to someone as sick as I am. Maybe the only way to have the ability to keep going with it is to see it from my side. The only thing that made me give up on one of my ffriends, was when I had a friend who was so out there, she threatened to kill me just about every day. After about 2 years, I did finally let her go. But all I have done was ask for people to see me. I never even want to talk about my problems. I just want someone to help me forget them. If only I could make people understand. If I could, there wouldn't be a problem. I talk to all these people online... who show so much concern and compassion. And when I hear them, I feel them so much. One girl has friends who pull the whole "Oh we're not going out anymore." Next thing you know, they have their away messages on saying they are out. She has the liars. I have the ignorers. I used to have liars as well. Maybe someday... I could be an extra on M*A*S*H!! Or maybe a hooker in something!!