muses_w_remotes || 1.2 Gone With The Wind
1.2. “With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.”
| Gone With the Wind
Pregnant.
I’m still pregnant.
I’m going to stay pregnant for approximately the next seven and a half months.
I’m going to stay pregnant with a married man’s spawn for approximately the next seven and a half months.
Where is a spork to stab myself in the eyeball when I need one?
I was so convinced I could do it. There didn’t seem to be any other option. I had an affair with a married bloke who just happens to be my ex and the bloody extensively fertile arsehole knocked me up. If I wasn’t ready for marriage to him when he proposed to me, I certainly wasn’t ready to relinquish my comfortable life to become a single mother to his illegitimate offspring. It wasn’t a happy situation and I couldn’t envisage any happy ending; a termination seemed to be the only option.
At least, that was my reasoning until I was lying in there with my legs somewhere up around my nostrils barely minutes away from them terminating the life growing inside of me. It was a life that was half my creation and even though the other half was effing Mark Campbell’s doing, it was still my baby. This was the penny that dropped in my mind while I was lying there in a paper gown and the doctor telling me his hands would be a little cold causing me to scream at the top of my lungs if the bastard came a step closer and touched me, I would shove his forceps up his arse and sue him for assault or break and enter or anything that would stop him sticking that pointy thing in places pointy things had already been and gotten me into this mess. Needless to say the poor bugger backed right off and I walked out of the clinic in tears still very much knocked up and not having a single clue what to do next.
I still don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve taken leave from work and haven’t gotten out of my pyjamas once and only leave my bed to go to the bathroom, eat and shower. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to be a mother all on my own? How am I supposed to go on knowing I’m carrying his kid without telling him? How can I see his brother every day and know I have his niece or nephew incubating inside me? What are people going to think when they know I’m up the duff with a married man’s kid?
A married man’s kid who is my baby.
Oh my god, what the fuck have I done?
Words | 445
| Gone With the Wind
Pregnant.
I’m still pregnant.
I’m going to stay pregnant for approximately the next seven and a half months.
I’m going to stay pregnant with a married man’s spawn for approximately the next seven and a half months.
Where is a spork to stab myself in the eyeball when I need one?
I was so convinced I could do it. There didn’t seem to be any other option. I had an affair with a married bloke who just happens to be my ex and the bloody extensively fertile arsehole knocked me up. If I wasn’t ready for marriage to him when he proposed to me, I certainly wasn’t ready to relinquish my comfortable life to become a single mother to his illegitimate offspring. It wasn’t a happy situation and I couldn’t envisage any happy ending; a termination seemed to be the only option.
At least, that was my reasoning until I was lying in there with my legs somewhere up around my nostrils barely minutes away from them terminating the life growing inside of me. It was a life that was half my creation and even though the other half was effing Mark Campbell’s doing, it was still my baby. This was the penny that dropped in my mind while I was lying there in a paper gown and the doctor telling me his hands would be a little cold causing me to scream at the top of my lungs if the bastard came a step closer and touched me, I would shove his forceps up his arse and sue him for assault or break and enter or anything that would stop him sticking that pointy thing in places pointy things had already been and gotten me into this mess. Needless to say the poor bugger backed right off and I walked out of the clinic in tears still very much knocked up and not having a single clue what to do next.
I still don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve taken leave from work and haven’t gotten out of my pyjamas once and only leave my bed to go to the bathroom, eat and shower. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to be a mother all on my own? How am I supposed to go on knowing I’m carrying his kid without telling him? How can I see his brother every day and know I have his niece or nephew incubating inside me? What are people going to think when they know I’m up the duff with a married man’s kid?
A married man’s kid who is my baby.
Oh my god, what the fuck have I done?
Words | 445