the_bigshow || 2.14
2.14, 2I. What is the single biggest lesson you ever learned the hard way?
You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.
Hell, did I bloody learn that the hard way. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate him for the way he handled it and acted like an arrogant shit because I ‘jilted’ him, but god, he was the love of my life for a long time and to say out of spite that I don’t miss him would be a blatant lie.
For a long time I felt like I was being punished for not being ready for marriage. Just because I turned down his marriage proposal didn’t mean that I didn’t love him anymore or didn’t still want to be with him. I did, and I told him this repeatedly. But he took it as such a blow to his ego that he wanted all or nothing and I still remember the horrible break up argument we had out on the street in from of James’ place in the rain. It was pissing down in thick, sharp streaks, but he stood there and screamed at me for stringing him along, calling me a prick-teaser, telling me I wouldn’t ever find another bloke who would give me what he would. So, I slapped him and I screamed back. Even now, I can’t remember exactly what I screamed at him. I know I called him numerous colourful names and used far too many expletives to remain modest and lady-like. It wasn’t pretty.
But once it was all over, I felt this cutting loss quite unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Suddenly, he wasn’t there beside me when I woke up in the mornings, and he wasn’t calling me at work to tell me he loved me. There were no dates, there was no sex, there was nothing but a huge hole of loneliness. I’m sure it would’ve been different if we’d split up for a genuine reason, like a breakdown in the relationship, or infidelity. But there was none of that. We broke up because I turned down his marriage proposal. I wasn’t ready. Is that such a crime?
Apparently it was, because nothing beyond that ever resolved. It didn’t take him long to move on to someone else - a nurse with big tits - and he married her less than a year later. I would say it broke my heart, but some nights, when the loneliness sets in all over again, I can’t help but wonder if it’s still breaking…
Muse | Special Agent Alicia Sullivan (Original Character)
Words | 408
You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.
Hell, did I bloody learn that the hard way. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate him for the way he handled it and acted like an arrogant shit because I ‘jilted’ him, but god, he was the love of my life for a long time and to say out of spite that I don’t miss him would be a blatant lie.
For a long time I felt like I was being punished for not being ready for marriage. Just because I turned down his marriage proposal didn’t mean that I didn’t love him anymore or didn’t still want to be with him. I did, and I told him this repeatedly. But he took it as such a blow to his ego that he wanted all or nothing and I still remember the horrible break up argument we had out on the street in from of James’ place in the rain. It was pissing down in thick, sharp streaks, but he stood there and screamed at me for stringing him along, calling me a prick-teaser, telling me I wouldn’t ever find another bloke who would give me what he would. So, I slapped him and I screamed back. Even now, I can’t remember exactly what I screamed at him. I know I called him numerous colourful names and used far too many expletives to remain modest and lady-like. It wasn’t pretty.
But once it was all over, I felt this cutting loss quite unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Suddenly, he wasn’t there beside me when I woke up in the mornings, and he wasn’t calling me at work to tell me he loved me. There were no dates, there was no sex, there was nothing but a huge hole of loneliness. I’m sure it would’ve been different if we’d split up for a genuine reason, like a breakdown in the relationship, or infidelity. But there was none of that. We broke up because I turned down his marriage proposal. I wasn’t ready. Is that such a crime?
Apparently it was, because nothing beyond that ever resolved. It didn’t take him long to move on to someone else - a nurse with big tits - and he married her less than a year later. I would say it broke my heart, but some nights, when the loneliness sets in all over again, I can’t help but wonder if it’s still breaking…
Muse | Special Agent Alicia Sullivan (Original Character)
Words | 408