couples_therapy || 45.3. Complications
45.3. Discuss something that complicates your relationship
Co-written with paramedically | Set Christmas Day
Ali touched her fingers to one of the fronds of the small Christmas tree sitting on the hospital nightstand beside Andrew’s bed. “You know, I was starting to wonder if I would have to pull a little BSDM to get you to agree to celebrating Christmas,” she told him softly, smiling. Her other arm was occupied with feeding Jamie who was starting to get a healthy appetite on her at nearly four weeks old.
Andrew looked at the Christmas tree she had brought him complete with tiny decorations and twinkling lights. “I wasn’t feeling very celebratory this year. I didn’t want to be a buzzkill for everyone else.” He scrunched his nose up a little wryly. “Not that it’s much of a step up here. Are you sure you want to be sitting here in a hospital on Christmas Day? I feel terrible this is how Jamie is spending her first Christmas.”
“Andrew,” Ali murmured and moved her hand to stroke his arm. “We’re together, yeah? That’s all that matters. You’re in hospital, so that’s where we’ll be. No questions asked. I just didn’t want you to pass the day by miserable and alone. Even if you were at home or work, I would have crashed you with a tree and presents.” Her intended plans weren’t actually able to come off. Andrew’s doctor originally told him he should be okay to be discharged on Christmas Eve, so they were going to go to Tab and Luke’s place, even just for an hour or so. But Andrew was still running a fever and there was no way, not even with large amounts of pleading, that the doctor was going to let him go. Which is why he was still in hospital on Christmas Day with the weekend being his new likely discharge time if the fever was gone.
She had given him Nintendo Wii with all the SingStar discs in existence following a discovery from Luke when he was in surgery that Andrew like Karaoke. She had also had a ball in a novelty t-shirt top downtown with Andrew now in possession of a 'Trust Me I'm a Paramedic' hoodie, a 'Master(intu)bater' t-shirt, a 'Paramedic: Off Duty t-shirt' and a 'My Job is Saving Your Ass' t-shirt and was wearing her own 'I heart my Paramedic' jumper. He tried not to laugh because he knew it would hurt, but it was impossible. It had been nice to see him laugh. “I have something for you too. For both of you,” Andrew admitted and slowly picked up two small blue boxes from the nightstand behind the tissue box. “Actually, Luke got them. I set him into the last minute Christmas crowd, so I owe him one.”
Andrew had noticed the gifts a few weeks earlier when he had been shopping for a gift for his Mum, but of course at that point Ali was still in hospital and nothing was going on between them. Although he hadn’t had intentions of celebrating Christmas, he still wanted to get them both gifts as the holiday drew near. He didn’t know why; he just wanted to. Both gifts were Tiffany; the Star Link drop necklace for Ali and the Baby teething ring rattle for Jamie.
Ali looked at the boxes in awe. “Tiffany. You sent Luke into Tiffany during the last minute Christmas shopping? What do you owe him? Your first born?” Her arms were still occupied with Jamie. “Open them for us?”
Andrew smiled and pulled the ribbon of the neat blue gift wrapping. He really didn’t know which was which and hadn’t seen either personally. He hoped his cousin didn’t decide to pull a practical joke and he would open it to find a whoopee cushion inside. But no. The sweet little silver rattle was inside and he handed the box to Ali for her to see, smiling. “Oh love,” Ali said with a fond grin. “I love it. It’s perfect. Baby’s First Tiffany,” she laughed.
“My Mum taught me well,” Andrew told her and moved on to the next gift. When it was neatly open, he took the rattle back and handed her the second box with the necklace. This one was a bit more nerve-wracking. He hadn’t bought a gift for a love interest in a long time and even then, it had been something boring like chocolates. Jewellery was a whole different level and he really hoped she liked it. But then, she probably wouldn’t say if she hated it and he really hoped that twinge in his gut was something post-operative rather than some unreadable emotion he would try to analyse later on.
Ali broke into a grin when she saw it but before she could say anything, her cell phone started to ring. She wrapped her fingers around Andrew’s hand holding the box and squeezed it. “I love it,” she promised it. “I just need to get this. It might be my folks.” She held Jamie securely and took her phone from the side pocket of her handbag. She received a baby whimper of protest from her daughter for being disturbed but a breath caught in her throat when she saw the caller ID. She looked up at Andrew, something akin to guilt sloshing in her stomach. “I-I have to take this,” she told him.
Andrew nodded and just put the gift box down on the side of the bed. That was kind of disappointing and a total excitement killer. He just turned his head and looked out the window. He couldn’t get up to give her the privacy she might need and she couldn’t get up because she was breastfeeding. Why did he get a feeling this was going to be as awkward as all fuck?
Ali bit her lip, eyes on Andrew as she flipped the phone open. “Mark,” she answered softly.
Bingo, Andrew thought to himself and managed to stifle a sigh.
“Yeah… things are okay,” Ali murmured, eyes shifting to look down at the baby. “She’s doing well. Healthy and all that… Yeah, I got the money. Thank you. You don’t need to be so generous next time. I can provide for my daughter… Yes, my daughter, Mark.” She paused and closed her eyes with a sigh. “I’m sorry. Things are fine, Jamie’s doing well, eating well, starting to sleep a little better. You can tell your Mum and Dad I’ll send them some more photos after Christmas…”
Andrew knew it would be too rude to either stick his fingers in his ears or turn the TV on and up loud. It was hard to listen to this. It always made him feel like he had no chance with Ali as long as the kid’s father was hanging around. He had seen the photos. The guy was gorgeous, just like his younger brother had been. And he was some high class lawyer with celebrities for clients or something. How could Andrew ever compete with that?
“Look, I have to go Mark. I’m feeding Jamie and she doesn’t like being disturbed…” Ali shook her head a little. “Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas, even though I know that doesn’t mean much this year. I’ll speak to you soon.” She closed the phone over and slipped it back into her bag.
“Ali, I’m tired. You should just head home and get Jamie into her own bed,” Andrew said quietly, turning back to meet her eyes.
Ali’s forehead creased with a small frown. “Andrew, don’t do this. Please.”
“Do what?” Andrew asked. “I don’ know what I’m supposed to do. How can I be doing it if I don’t know what it is? He’s Jamie’s father. He’s always going to be there. I get it. I just need some time to get used to that, alright? I’ve never had to share anyone I love with anyone before. Sharing you with Jamie is fucking fantastic because you’re like this great package and I love you both, but sharing you with another guy? It’s not easy, okay?”
Ali shook her head. “No, Andrew. You aren’t sharing me with Mark. Mark is just…”
“Jamie’s father,” Andrew finished for her.
Ali looked up at the ceiling and wet her lips as tears threatened to spill over. “Mark was fucking sperm, Andrew. And now he’s gone. Yes, he is Jamie’s father. He fathered my daughter, but that does not make him her daddy. He is not here. He will never be here for her in any capacity that a daddy should be. He lives in Australia and is not coming back to New York. All he is to her is a name in her bank account on the same day each month. The only reason he has asked for photos is for Jamie’s grandparents. The only reason he is calling is guilt. If Jamie is going to have a daddy, he’s going to be someone who is there for her, who loves her, who spends time with her, teaches her and holds a special little places in his heart for her always.”
“How do you know the guy won’t come back and want all that some day?” Andrew asked helplessly.
“Because it will be too late,” Ali sobbed. “It’s already too late. She does not deserve to be someone’s afterthought. She’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I won’t let her have anything but the best.” She grabbed Andrew’s hand again. “You, Andrew. If this works out between us and keeps going how wonderfully it already is, I want you to be Jamie’s daddy because even in just a few weeks, I think you love her just as much as I do and you’ve done more for her than her biological father ever will.”
Andrew closed his eyes as he came close to tears himself. “I do. I love you both,” he told her. “But I don’t know if I know how to be everything for her she needs me to be.”
“You already are,” Ali told him and carefully leaned over to kiss his hand. “And the present is amazing, sweetheart. I love it and as soon as I’m finished with her, I want you to put it on for me. Andrew, I’m sorry this all had to hurt you so much. Don’t deny it. I could see it on your face when that phone call came. In the New Year, I’m applying with the courts for sole custody of Jamie and I’m requesting Mark sign over his parental rights to me. Clean slate. If you want to be part of our lives, you won’t be competing with anyone else, love. I would never do that to you.”
Andrew smiled and took Ali’s hand. “Merry Christmas, beautiful,” he murmured.
Word Count | 1,795
Co-written with paramedically | Set Christmas Day
Ali touched her fingers to one of the fronds of the small Christmas tree sitting on the hospital nightstand beside Andrew’s bed. “You know, I was starting to wonder if I would have to pull a little BSDM to get you to agree to celebrating Christmas,” she told him softly, smiling. Her other arm was occupied with feeding Jamie who was starting to get a healthy appetite on her at nearly four weeks old.
Andrew looked at the Christmas tree she had brought him complete with tiny decorations and twinkling lights. “I wasn’t feeling very celebratory this year. I didn’t want to be a buzzkill for everyone else.” He scrunched his nose up a little wryly. “Not that it’s much of a step up here. Are you sure you want to be sitting here in a hospital on Christmas Day? I feel terrible this is how Jamie is spending her first Christmas.”
“Andrew,” Ali murmured and moved her hand to stroke his arm. “We’re together, yeah? That’s all that matters. You’re in hospital, so that’s where we’ll be. No questions asked. I just didn’t want you to pass the day by miserable and alone. Even if you were at home or work, I would have crashed you with a tree and presents.” Her intended plans weren’t actually able to come off. Andrew’s doctor originally told him he should be okay to be discharged on Christmas Eve, so they were going to go to Tab and Luke’s place, even just for an hour or so. But Andrew was still running a fever and there was no way, not even with large amounts of pleading, that the doctor was going to let him go. Which is why he was still in hospital on Christmas Day with the weekend being his new likely discharge time if the fever was gone.
She had given him Nintendo Wii with all the SingStar discs in existence following a discovery from Luke when he was in surgery that Andrew like Karaoke. She had also had a ball in a novelty t-shirt top downtown with Andrew now in possession of a 'Trust Me I'm a Paramedic' hoodie, a 'Master(intu)bater' t-shirt, a 'Paramedic: Off Duty t-shirt' and a 'My Job is Saving Your Ass' t-shirt and was wearing her own 'I heart my Paramedic' jumper. He tried not to laugh because he knew it would hurt, but it was impossible. It had been nice to see him laugh. “I have something for you too. For both of you,” Andrew admitted and slowly picked up two small blue boxes from the nightstand behind the tissue box. “Actually, Luke got them. I set him into the last minute Christmas crowd, so I owe him one.”
Andrew had noticed the gifts a few weeks earlier when he had been shopping for a gift for his Mum, but of course at that point Ali was still in hospital and nothing was going on between them. Although he hadn’t had intentions of celebrating Christmas, he still wanted to get them both gifts as the holiday drew near. He didn’t know why; he just wanted to. Both gifts were Tiffany; the Star Link drop necklace for Ali and the Baby teething ring rattle for Jamie.
Ali looked at the boxes in awe. “Tiffany. You sent Luke into Tiffany during the last minute Christmas shopping? What do you owe him? Your first born?” Her arms were still occupied with Jamie. “Open them for us?”
Andrew smiled and pulled the ribbon of the neat blue gift wrapping. He really didn’t know which was which and hadn’t seen either personally. He hoped his cousin didn’t decide to pull a practical joke and he would open it to find a whoopee cushion inside. But no. The sweet little silver rattle was inside and he handed the box to Ali for her to see, smiling. “Oh love,” Ali said with a fond grin. “I love it. It’s perfect. Baby’s First Tiffany,” she laughed.
“My Mum taught me well,” Andrew told her and moved on to the next gift. When it was neatly open, he took the rattle back and handed her the second box with the necklace. This one was a bit more nerve-wracking. He hadn’t bought a gift for a love interest in a long time and even then, it had been something boring like chocolates. Jewellery was a whole different level and he really hoped she liked it. But then, she probably wouldn’t say if she hated it and he really hoped that twinge in his gut was something post-operative rather than some unreadable emotion he would try to analyse later on.
Ali broke into a grin when she saw it but before she could say anything, her cell phone started to ring. She wrapped her fingers around Andrew’s hand holding the box and squeezed it. “I love it,” she promised it. “I just need to get this. It might be my folks.” She held Jamie securely and took her phone from the side pocket of her handbag. She received a baby whimper of protest from her daughter for being disturbed but a breath caught in her throat when she saw the caller ID. She looked up at Andrew, something akin to guilt sloshing in her stomach. “I-I have to take this,” she told him.
Andrew nodded and just put the gift box down on the side of the bed. That was kind of disappointing and a total excitement killer. He just turned his head and looked out the window. He couldn’t get up to give her the privacy she might need and she couldn’t get up because she was breastfeeding. Why did he get a feeling this was going to be as awkward as all fuck?
Ali bit her lip, eyes on Andrew as she flipped the phone open. “Mark,” she answered softly.
Bingo, Andrew thought to himself and managed to stifle a sigh.
“Yeah… things are okay,” Ali murmured, eyes shifting to look down at the baby. “She’s doing well. Healthy and all that… Yeah, I got the money. Thank you. You don’t need to be so generous next time. I can provide for my daughter… Yes, my daughter, Mark.” She paused and closed her eyes with a sigh. “I’m sorry. Things are fine, Jamie’s doing well, eating well, starting to sleep a little better. You can tell your Mum and Dad I’ll send them some more photos after Christmas…”
Andrew knew it would be too rude to either stick his fingers in his ears or turn the TV on and up loud. It was hard to listen to this. It always made him feel like he had no chance with Ali as long as the kid’s father was hanging around. He had seen the photos. The guy was gorgeous, just like his younger brother had been. And he was some high class lawyer with celebrities for clients or something. How could Andrew ever compete with that?
“Look, I have to go Mark. I’m feeding Jamie and she doesn’t like being disturbed…” Ali shook her head a little. “Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas, even though I know that doesn’t mean much this year. I’ll speak to you soon.” She closed the phone over and slipped it back into her bag.
“Ali, I’m tired. You should just head home and get Jamie into her own bed,” Andrew said quietly, turning back to meet her eyes.
Ali’s forehead creased with a small frown. “Andrew, don’t do this. Please.”
“Do what?” Andrew asked. “I don’ know what I’m supposed to do. How can I be doing it if I don’t know what it is? He’s Jamie’s father. He’s always going to be there. I get it. I just need some time to get used to that, alright? I’ve never had to share anyone I love with anyone before. Sharing you with Jamie is fucking fantastic because you’re like this great package and I love you both, but sharing you with another guy? It’s not easy, okay?”
Ali shook her head. “No, Andrew. You aren’t sharing me with Mark. Mark is just…”
“Jamie’s father,” Andrew finished for her.
Ali looked up at the ceiling and wet her lips as tears threatened to spill over. “Mark was fucking sperm, Andrew. And now he’s gone. Yes, he is Jamie’s father. He fathered my daughter, but that does not make him her daddy. He is not here. He will never be here for her in any capacity that a daddy should be. He lives in Australia and is not coming back to New York. All he is to her is a name in her bank account on the same day each month. The only reason he has asked for photos is for Jamie’s grandparents. The only reason he is calling is guilt. If Jamie is going to have a daddy, he’s going to be someone who is there for her, who loves her, who spends time with her, teaches her and holds a special little places in his heart for her always.”
“How do you know the guy won’t come back and want all that some day?” Andrew asked helplessly.
“Because it will be too late,” Ali sobbed. “It’s already too late. She does not deserve to be someone’s afterthought. She’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I won’t let her have anything but the best.” She grabbed Andrew’s hand again. “You, Andrew. If this works out between us and keeps going how wonderfully it already is, I want you to be Jamie’s daddy because even in just a few weeks, I think you love her just as much as I do and you’ve done more for her than her biological father ever will.”
Andrew closed his eyes as he came close to tears himself. “I do. I love you both,” he told her. “But I don’t know if I know how to be everything for her she needs me to be.”
“You already are,” Ali told him and carefully leaned over to kiss his hand. “And the present is amazing, sweetheart. I love it and as soon as I’m finished with her, I want you to put it on for me. Andrew, I’m sorry this all had to hurt you so much. Don’t deny it. I could see it on your face when that phone call came. In the New Year, I’m applying with the courts for sole custody of Jamie and I’m requesting Mark sign over his parental rights to me. Clean slate. If you want to be part of our lives, you won’t be competing with anyone else, love. I would never do that to you.”
Andrew smiled and took Ali’s hand. “Merry Christmas, beautiful,” he murmured.
Word Count | 1,795