Tomorrow is my 19th Birthday

[agentseduction]

...and I feel anything but content. Tomorrow my parents will discuss whether they become divorced or stay together. The events that led up to this all seem like a big blur. My father seems to be tired of being just that, a father. He ignores us and complains when we ask for help or when my mom speaks about our unstable financial situation. Yesterday I kind of disobeyed my dad and turned on the television. He started pushing me in a very aggressive manner, almost as if he were fighting with a man. I burst into tears and...so on. We are not in speaking terms, not that we ever were. The only times he ever speaks to me is when he disagrees with me about something like gay marriage.

I can't help to fear what may happen in the future. Either decision my parents take will lead to a disastrous series of events. If they stay together, he will continue acting like the victim, he will continue to consistently yell for no reason, and think it's ok to treat his children and wife like shit. If my parents decide to divorce, my mom, my brother and I, will be forced to leave into a one bedroom apartment, my mom will take on two jobs, I will also take on a job, I will barely be able to afford community college, I won't have money to buy a car in order to help my mother, *sighs deeply*.

I can't believe this is happening. It always seems as if fate is out to get me. If only this were a nightmare