Christ, you know it ain't easy
Note to self:
STOP IT. In the name of Cthulhu, please. You are shiny. People like you. You have friends. Just because you say something off-colour and they look at you oddly, or they want to hang out with their other friends for a while, or you're picking up their bad moods about something completely unrelated does not mean that everyone hates you and you are going to die lonely. Cruel manipulative buggered-up social relations are *so* sixth-grade.
It would also be really nice if you would stop repeating "They won't like me once they really know me" to yourself. That's not exactly helping.
Enough with the bloody emo already.
Srsly.