Scream for me
I was coming home from my piano lesson today, in my aunt's fancy hybrid car with the yellow ribbon on the back, and there was a couple on the side of the road by the interstate ramp. It was raining. The girl looked very pale. The guy was standing up, carrying a cardboard sign that said "Down on luck--trying to get home--anything helps." I only had five dollars, so I gave it to them. And he smiled at me.
I didn't fucking give him anything. Five dollars. That's hardly enough to feed one person. And he still smiled at me, and he was so fucking grateful.
I swear to God, if it had been my car, if we were going home to my house, I would have invited them home with me. I still wish I had. But it's my uncle's house and my aunt's car and I didn't have any more money so all I could do was roll up the window to keep out the rain and drive off sitting on the goddamn leather seats with the fucking heater on.
Shit. We've been pretty close to bottom. A couple of turns of luck and that could have been me out there, a beggar on the street having to hitchhike back home.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart, a mess, a teary eye, can't pull it together long enough to realize that those people are probably slackers and probably never worked for anything and would rather just live off the system or something, they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, who the fuck cares if they go broke trying to pay for health care, why don't they call someone who gives a shit, we're in the middle of a war, sorry, can't help our own people, busy screwing someone else's.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart who's a heretic for the idiotic notion that people should have health care when they need it and should be able to get welfare if they can't work. I'm too busy wanting to help people a little at a time that I can't see the big picture, that they should all fucking starve to death to keep America competitive.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart for believing in Leviticus 25:35-37; "If your brother has become poor, and his hand can't support him among you; then you shall uphold him... You shall not lend him your money at interest, not give him your food for profit." No strings attached.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart when I cry because I'm inside and warm and they aren't. And it doesn't even do me any good. I don't have any money to give them. I live in someone else's basement, for God's sake. And so being a bleeding heart doesn't do any goddamn good except that I care and I can't stop caring and I can't turn off my feelings no matter how much I wish I could--either that or actually do something to help someone which I'm not doing right now, and I don't know how I can. And they're still out there in the rain and the cold and damn it, I can't do a fucking thing except rant on my livejournal and give five dollars when I have it. And it's so frustrating, because I'm bleeding for nothing.
I don't have anything more to say. Somehow all the steam has just gone out of this rant.
I don't even have cause to get mad at anyone else because I'm just sitting on my arse and not doing anything, so I shouldn't be getting all 'holier-than-thou' and pretending I'm somehow superior.
God. What a mess.
I didn't fucking give him anything. Five dollars. That's hardly enough to feed one person. And he still smiled at me, and he was so fucking grateful.
I swear to God, if it had been my car, if we were going home to my house, I would have invited them home with me. I still wish I had. But it's my uncle's house and my aunt's car and I didn't have any more money so all I could do was roll up the window to keep out the rain and drive off sitting on the goddamn leather seats with the fucking heater on.
Shit. We've been pretty close to bottom. A couple of turns of luck and that could have been me out there, a beggar on the street having to hitchhike back home.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart, a mess, a teary eye, can't pull it together long enough to realize that those people are probably slackers and probably never worked for anything and would rather just live off the system or something, they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, who the fuck cares if they go broke trying to pay for health care, why don't they call someone who gives a shit, we're in the middle of a war, sorry, can't help our own people, busy screwing someone else's.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart who's a heretic for the idiotic notion that people should have health care when they need it and should be able to get welfare if they can't work. I'm too busy wanting to help people a little at a time that I can't see the big picture, that they should all fucking starve to death to keep America competitive.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart for believing in Leviticus 25:35-37; "If your brother has become poor, and his hand can't support him among you; then you shall uphold him... You shall not lend him your money at interest, not give him your food for profit." No strings attached.
I'm just a fucking bleeding heart when I cry because I'm inside and warm and they aren't. And it doesn't even do me any good. I don't have any money to give them. I live in someone else's basement, for God's sake. And so being a bleeding heart doesn't do any goddamn good except that I care and I can't stop caring and I can't turn off my feelings no matter how much I wish I could--either that or actually do something to help someone which I'm not doing right now, and I don't know how I can. And they're still out there in the rain and the cold and damn it, I can't do a fucking thing except rant on my livejournal and give five dollars when I have it. And it's so frustrating, because I'm bleeding for nothing.
I don't have anything more to say. Somehow all the steam has just gone out of this rant.
I don't even have cause to get mad at anyone else because I'm just sitting on my arse and not doing anything, so I shouldn't be getting all 'holier-than-thou' and pretending I'm somehow superior.
God. What a mess.