FIC: Son of the Suns - Anakin - PG
TITLE: Son of the Suns
AUTHOR: agentj / agentjedi
STATUS: complete
DATE: January 2006
CATEGORY: Challenge (1character)
FANDOM: Star Wars
CHARACTER: Anakin Skywalker
THEME SET: Gamma
CONTENT WARNING: reference to drug-use, sex
SUMMARY: Inside Anakin Skywalker, one sentence at a time.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Semi-colons, colons, em-dashes and even abusive ellipses are your friends-especially when you're writing run-on sentences!
DISCLAIMER: I willingly and willfully use characters and situations copyrighted by Twentieth Century Fox and Lucasfilm Ltd. without permission, and without monetary gain.
1::Snow
Never could I have imagined a world covered in water which has turned cold and hard, nor could I have imagined myself one day walking upon such a world as my footsteps leave impressions upon the frozen surface of Illum.
2::Child
No, don't call me Ani, for that is a child's name, and I am no longer a child.
3::Brick
As a Jedi, I must make sacrifices, travelling to distant worlds, both luxurious and strange, but tonight my bed is the dusty ground, my blanket is my only robe, and my pillow an earthen stone.
4::Judgment
Every time we pass in the grand hallways of the Jedi Temple, I see his golden green eyes glance up at me, but never to greet me, never to wish me well in my studies, oh no; Master Yoda only passes judgment when he passes me.
5::Powder
The promise of relief, the joy of ecstasy, the beauty of the ages, all this and more the spice merchants promise of their magical potions and powders, and as a Jedi who possesses far greater power than any of their worth, how could only one dram do harm?
6::Grim
The clone commander gives his report as if he were giving me an inventory of artillery, but Obi-Wan is not a simple blaster or tank to be accounted for, and despite the fact no one has heard from him in days, I refuse to believe my master is dead.
7::Trap
"Spring the trap," he said to me, his face an outpouring of boyish glee, but now that the trap is sprung with Dooku kneeling before me, I am glad Obi-Wan is unconscious for he would not approve of the darkness I harbour as I take my revenge.
8::Star
When I was a child, I used to watch the stars at night and dream of the places I would one day visit, but as an adult, I watch my wife sleep, her flaxen hair spread out upon the pillow, and thank the stars that have brought the two of us together.
9::Possession
As a Jedi, possessions are forbidden, but as your husband, my heart is yours, and as your lover, I possess you-body and soul.
10::Bandage
I watch in silence and hold back the tears as Padmé wraps gauze around my wound, and she asks for the thousandth time if it hurts-I say, no, it doesn't, but I lie-it hurts like hell to have lost my arm so foolishly.
11::Pearl
Standing on the balcony, I chatter away like one of her gossipy aides, but when she speaks, I am taken by her beauty; if only I could steal away this moment from time itself and never go back to the drudgery of war!
12::Glass
All that separates me from the cold stillness of space in the cockpit of my starfighter is a reinforced layer of transparisteel-how delicate the balance of life in the measure of a thin piece of glass!
13::Classified
"We will share this information with no one," my master tells me-as if he had anyone else to tell our secrets to-how little does he know about the secret I keep from him about my marriage.
14::Buttons
Wait-didn't Padmé already use that button to bring up communications?
15::Closet
I find myself drawn to my master's sleeping quarters where I stand fascinated at the wardrobe of a Jedi-as a slave I had but one set of clothes, yet my austere master has twenty!
16::Ash
The ash falling from the Mustafar sky tastes bitter in my mouth, but never as bitter as the betrayal of my wife and best friend.
17::Definition
This is the definition of a Jedi: a warrior who seeks peace with the justice of his lightsabre, a diplomat who guards the truth with the power of the Force, a guardian who dies protecting his padawan and the people from evil-this is the definition of the Jedi who discovered me, Qui-Gon Jinn.
18::Staircase
I descend from the pinnacle of power of the Jedi Council chambers, my master holding his tongue as I lash out with my accusations, and yet still he defends them, still he takes their side-I cannot trust Obi-Wan any more.
19::Nail
We leave the Council chambers, but I say nothing least it provokes Obi-Wan's lecture mode; I just can't understand why my own master did not defend my actions in front of the Council!
20::Prey
Seeing Obi-Wan on top of the ramp, I now know the true reason for Padmé's desperate plea for me to come away with her-it was to be a trap, for he is the hunter and I am his prey.
21::Backwards
Master Yoda tells us to be mindful of the future, so why are the Jedi always thinking of the past?
22::Trouble
Master tells me wherever I go, trouble will inevitably follow-I hope so, or this mission will be ultimately boring!
23::Little
My master calls me his "Little One," though I have been taller than he for many seasons now.
24::Collar
Although it has been years, sometimes I still touch my collarbone and expect to find the necklace my mother made for me there...I miss her so much.
25::Circle
I stand in the midst of the circle to take my place as one of them, but their growing distrust and fear of who and what I am I will not allow me to be one with the Jedi Council.
26::Hands
With this hand, I wield my lightsabre, I focus the Force to do my bidding, and I hold tight the reins to control my starfighter, but it is not with this hand that I shall ever feel the soft caress of my lover, my mate, my wife, my friend, for it is no longer of flesh nor of blood.
27::Freedom
Is this what it means to be free, to be kept hostage from one's loved ones, to be chained to dogma and ancient beliefs-are these the sacrifices one must make to taste freedom?
28::Last
Impassively I watch smoke plume from the grey towers where I once called home; this place is now but a tomb for the decrepit learnings of an age that I have silenced, for today I am the last of all Jedi.
29::Scab
Today Obi-Wan has gone again to the Hall of Memories to meditate over Qui-Gon's memorial where he picks at the wound, old and crusted, yet totally unable to see the scar it has left between us.
30::Crown
Tell me, O Queen, now that you are no longer a servant like me, how can I capture your eyes and win your heart?
31::Time
If dreams pass in time, how much time must pass before I can embrace my mother again?
32::Rice
The liquid runs off my spoon back into my bowl of food, and I stare at the back of my master's head; if this is how he's going to cook, perhaps I was better off a slave-I was better fed!
33::Worn
The silence that passes between Obi-Wan and myself is no longer uncomfortable, for we have grown used to each other, like a pair of old worn shoes.
34::Paint
How different Padmé looks with her face all white with ritual paint.
35::Ache
This war-torn remote planet would be a beautiful place, but across the plane, soldiers ready themselves for battle, and instead of strategies, I think of you, my love, and long for your touch.
36::Cherry
Every day that passes inside my tomb, I watch through the red glare, knowing that I will never again see the luscious lips of my wife Padmé.
37::Library
The tall cases of durasteel rise above me glowing a feint blue as if announcing their supremacy of knowledge, yet for all this glory, there is no answer how to save my wife from pending doom.
38::Win
There is a soft knowing smile on my master's lips as I gather his broken body from the battlefield, for he knows that despite his protests I will never let him go-in the end I will always win.
39::Loss
In the breath of a moment I lose everything that is important to me: my reasoning is gone, my Jedi training for naught, the joy of life is done, for I have lost my mother.
40::Fold
I've been asked to pack away all of my master's things, including folding his cloaks, for they say he is never coming back from Jabiim; I know they lie.
41::Music
The sound melds into a drone, an undercurrent of dread as he speaks his web of deceit and equivocations, yet I am entranced by the magical tone, and the promise of power.
42::Bell
The roundness of the sound, my master tells me, will bring my thoughts in a circular fashion, allowing me to see the symbiosis of life and the Force, yet as I sit here pretending to be in quiet meditation, all I can think about is how much I want to smash that stupid bell to the ground.
43::Sleep
I dread the night, for it is the time of day in which I must surrender myself fully to the Force, to my dreams, and to the nightmares that I will never be strong enough to save the people I love.
44::Contact
Seeing the informant's lifeless body, I'm not sure if I should feel anything or not-on one hand, he was our most valuable source of underground information on Coruscant, but on the other...his life was nothing but misery, trading his meagre knowledge for little respect.
45::Electricity
I charge with wild ferocity, but blue tendons pick me up and throw me aside; my pride is humbled as I realise my master was right, and the power Count Dooku possesses is not the power of the Force as I know it.
46::Milk
How can milk bleached of all colour be milk-it ought to be blue.
47::Wild
I've returned home, my love, and the instant I see you, I become unhindered by my title, my blood rushing to my ears and every extremity of my lustful body, ready and willing to take you in the darkness of your bedchamber.
48::Expectation
I never expected training to be a Jedi would consist of loads and loads of dull meditation.
49::Mechanism
Gear into lever, lever into piston-how simple life is when broken into its components!
50::Finale
"This is the end for you, my master," I announce, for I am no longer the little boy Anakin Skywalker who grew up hindered in the shadow of my master's expectations-I am Darth Vader, a Dark Lord of the Sith, and with your ending, Obi-Wan Kenobi, shall be my beginning.
Crossposted to 1character and my journal.