Taking risks
$340 for Maggie to come visit me in Seattle. If she pays for half that's still $170 out of my pocket all meant for her. Plus 20-30 for the turtle locket... It's going to be an expensive Christmas because I want to get my mom, dad, sis, and bros great presents. Good thing I'll have real money coming in. Won't be saving much though between Xmas and Gas money.
Then there's my bday and xmas combined present from my parents: the trip to go see Maggie in New York. No surprise, no physical gift, ... maybe that's what's depressing me? That such an integral, memorable part of my childhood celebrations has essentially gone extinct? Or is it that my parents would spend $240 on me (regardless of what I'm saving them), and it may all be for naught. Well, ya, I'm deathly afraid of that possibility, that potential reality.
And there's the risk of my own money of course. But really, who cares about $170!? Is that really even a nanofraction of the price you would pay to be with what could very well be, and hopefully is, THE ONE!? The girl to spend and share and enjoy everything with.
I guess this is just one of those days when I'm going to be surrounded and enveloped by doubt, fear. And Maggie can't get off the money issue! I don't care about the dollars. I just want to be with my girl.
I'll just try to end on a positive note:
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might win, by fearing to attempt. - Jane Addams
I am not afraid to attempt. My doubts will be rooted out. I will win the good.
Then there's my bday and xmas combined present from my parents: the trip to go see Maggie in New York. No surprise, no physical gift, ... maybe that's what's depressing me? That such an integral, memorable part of my childhood celebrations has essentially gone extinct? Or is it that my parents would spend $240 on me (regardless of what I'm saving them), and it may all be for naught. Well, ya, I'm deathly afraid of that possibility, that potential reality.
And there's the risk of my own money of course. But really, who cares about $170!? Is that really even a nanofraction of the price you would pay to be with what could very well be, and hopefully is, THE ONE!? The girl to spend and share and enjoy everything with.
I guess this is just one of those days when I'm going to be surrounded and enveloped by doubt, fear. And Maggie can't get off the money issue! I don't care about the dollars. I just want to be with my girl.
I'll just try to end on a positive note:
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might win, by fearing to attempt. - Jane Addams
I am not afraid to attempt. My doubts will be rooted out. I will win the good.