musesandlyrics | 2.7. Unknown quote
2.7. "Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver."
Unknown
With agentsullivan
James let himself into Ali's apartment with the key he had, just like she told him to when she called. The place was dark, all the blinds drawn with just a couple of lamps on here and there. She hadn't gone into much detail on the phone, just asked him if he could come around and keep her company while Andrew was in Chicago for some conference. He wouldn't be home until Christmas Eve, James knew Ali well enough to know just from the tone of her voice that she really could use some company. He found her curled up on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around her legs and wearing one of Andrew's large paramedic jerseys. She was nursing a mug of something, and the TV remote control was in easy reach while the large screen mounted on the wall looked like it was playing an old Eighties movie of some sort, if the clothing and hairstyles were anything to go by.
He shrugged his coat off and draped it over the back of the nearby recliner before dumping his wallet and keys on the coffee table. Taking the seat beside her, he stroked his fingers through her hair and took her hand. For the first time in a long time, he was able to drop everything and come to her when she asked. He didn't let her down this time. For some reason, he had expected her to be in tears, but she wasn't. She just looked tired and down. Maybe she wasn't feeling well? "Is there a reason for the Bat Call, or do you just want me to sit here quietly and not say anything?" he asked her with a small smile. But he frowned as he looked over her face gave his head a slight shake. "What's wrong, Al? Something's not right."
Ali pressed her lips together and shook her, but she managed a faint smile in return. "Nope, not really. But I'm okay. Will be okay. I just didn't want to sit here alone. I tried calling Iz, but Fi said she was sleeping, so I didn't want to bother her. I'll give her a call a bit later." She paused, drawing a deep shaky breath and letting it out slowly. "I was out with Sunshine doing some last minute shopping, she was crying and there were people everywhere. I had stomach pains, and they just got worse. They had been there on and off for a few days, so I made an appointment with my doctor. I didn't want to be fucking sick for Christmas. I got a cancellation appointment about an hour later, so I went right there. In the elevator up there, I got dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out, so I knelt down on the floor. I swear, I thought I lost control of myself and peed and crapped myself, but I was bleeding. I was pregnant, Jimbo. I didn't even know. About three or four weeks." She shook her head. "Wasn't meant to be... again."
James was surprised he didn't fall off the sofa in shock. It was the last thing he expected her to say. "Are- Are you okay? Al? Are you okay?" he repeated in concern. He took her hand, holding it between his as he watched her closely. "Why aren't you in hospital like last time? Does Andrew know? Did you call him, is he coming home? What can I do? Where's Sunshine?" He knew the questions were falling from his lips like some sort of unintentional interrogation, but he wasn't sure what else he could do. She needed to call the shots, he didn't want to do something that might just upset her. All he wanted to do was help, in some way. If possibly even could. Two miscarriages in six months, it seemed barbaric, and he was wondering how she was holding it together so well.
"She's sleeping. She's fine, just exhausted from shopping. I just... I think I'm okay, maybe I won't be at some point, but I am now. I didn't know, so I'm just confused about whether I should be grieving or not. Three weeks pregnant isn't much. My doctor said it's a natural miscarriage, it'll just end itself after a few days of bleeding, feeling like crap. The last time I was... it was too far along. It needed..." She waved her hand, not sure she could say the words. "This will just pass on it's own. I called, but he was unavailable. I left a message, but I-I didn't tell him. I didn't want him getting upset and maybe... drinking, alone, in Chicago. But I realised I wasn't giving him credit and I was just scared, so I called the hotel and left a message asking him to call me when he gets in. I know he has to know. See? I'm sane. I just... I thought I had my period, a few days ago. There was some cravings, maybe a slight bit of nausea, but not enough to make me think. Why would I, you know? I know after everything it probably seems like I should be freaking out and crying and all the other things I've hardly been able to control before, but I'm... okay. I am. Just feel a little flat, and I miss Andrew. I'd just give anything to have him here right now."
James looked at his watch. "Do you want me to try and get a hold of him again? I can pull some strings, get him on a flight this afternoon. He'll be home tonight. You just have to say the word, Al," he told her, watching her closely. He sighed softly and kissed her hand. "When are you going to get a break, huh? I'm so sorry, love. I know how much you want this. How hard you're trying. Why don't I go get Iz? She can come over and we can all eat loads of junk food and watch... Dirty Dancing? Grease? Monty Python? We'll stay until Andrew comes home, we can help you out with Sunshine. And if you want to cry, you can cry, and we'll be here with loads of Kleenex and ice cream."
The reflexive part of Ali's brain was trying to kick in and turn down his offers so she wasn't a bother for him. But the stronger side had her nodding and squeezing his hand gratefully. It was like the old days, they were always there as a threesome when things went wrong, Monty Python marathons more than a tradition when one of them was having a bad day. "I'd really like that," she agreed quietly and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "And if you can pull some strings to get him home, it would... really mean a lot to me."
James just kissed her cheek back and gave her a long hug, rubbing her back. He was awed that she was crying when his throat felt tight like he wanted to himself. He meant it when he promised her he would make up all the bad times for her, and he would walk to Chicago himself to bring Andrew home if he had to. But that all aside, even though it came on yet another heartache for Ali, for the first time since he walked out on their lives and then returned, right at that moment, he felt more like his old self than he had in a long time. How had he missed for so long that nothing was ever going to feel right without his two best friends beside him?
Word Count | 1,276
Unknown
With agentsullivan
James let himself into Ali's apartment with the key he had, just like she told him to when she called. The place was dark, all the blinds drawn with just a couple of lamps on here and there. She hadn't gone into much detail on the phone, just asked him if he could come around and keep her company while Andrew was in Chicago for some conference. He wouldn't be home until Christmas Eve, James knew Ali well enough to know just from the tone of her voice that she really could use some company. He found her curled up on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around her legs and wearing one of Andrew's large paramedic jerseys. She was nursing a mug of something, and the TV remote control was in easy reach while the large screen mounted on the wall looked like it was playing an old Eighties movie of some sort, if the clothing and hairstyles were anything to go by.
He shrugged his coat off and draped it over the back of the nearby recliner before dumping his wallet and keys on the coffee table. Taking the seat beside her, he stroked his fingers through her hair and took her hand. For the first time in a long time, he was able to drop everything and come to her when she asked. He didn't let her down this time. For some reason, he had expected her to be in tears, but she wasn't. She just looked tired and down. Maybe she wasn't feeling well? "Is there a reason for the Bat Call, or do you just want me to sit here quietly and not say anything?" he asked her with a small smile. But he frowned as he looked over her face gave his head a slight shake. "What's wrong, Al? Something's not right."
Ali pressed her lips together and shook her, but she managed a faint smile in return. "Nope, not really. But I'm okay. Will be okay. I just didn't want to sit here alone. I tried calling Iz, but Fi said she was sleeping, so I didn't want to bother her. I'll give her a call a bit later." She paused, drawing a deep shaky breath and letting it out slowly. "I was out with Sunshine doing some last minute shopping, she was crying and there were people everywhere. I had stomach pains, and they just got worse. They had been there on and off for a few days, so I made an appointment with my doctor. I didn't want to be fucking sick for Christmas. I got a cancellation appointment about an hour later, so I went right there. In the elevator up there, I got dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out, so I knelt down on the floor. I swear, I thought I lost control of myself and peed and crapped myself, but I was bleeding. I was pregnant, Jimbo. I didn't even know. About three or four weeks." She shook her head. "Wasn't meant to be... again."
James was surprised he didn't fall off the sofa in shock. It was the last thing he expected her to say. "Are- Are you okay? Al? Are you okay?" he repeated in concern. He took her hand, holding it between his as he watched her closely. "Why aren't you in hospital like last time? Does Andrew know? Did you call him, is he coming home? What can I do? Where's Sunshine?" He knew the questions were falling from his lips like some sort of unintentional interrogation, but he wasn't sure what else he could do. She needed to call the shots, he didn't want to do something that might just upset her. All he wanted to do was help, in some way. If possibly even could. Two miscarriages in six months, it seemed barbaric, and he was wondering how she was holding it together so well.
"She's sleeping. She's fine, just exhausted from shopping. I just... I think I'm okay, maybe I won't be at some point, but I am now. I didn't know, so I'm just confused about whether I should be grieving or not. Three weeks pregnant isn't much. My doctor said it's a natural miscarriage, it'll just end itself after a few days of bleeding, feeling like crap. The last time I was... it was too far along. It needed..." She waved her hand, not sure she could say the words. "This will just pass on it's own. I called, but he was unavailable. I left a message, but I-I didn't tell him. I didn't want him getting upset and maybe... drinking, alone, in Chicago. But I realised I wasn't giving him credit and I was just scared, so I called the hotel and left a message asking him to call me when he gets in. I know he has to know. See? I'm sane. I just... I thought I had my period, a few days ago. There was some cravings, maybe a slight bit of nausea, but not enough to make me think. Why would I, you know? I know after everything it probably seems like I should be freaking out and crying and all the other things I've hardly been able to control before, but I'm... okay. I am. Just feel a little flat, and I miss Andrew. I'd just give anything to have him here right now."
James looked at his watch. "Do you want me to try and get a hold of him again? I can pull some strings, get him on a flight this afternoon. He'll be home tonight. You just have to say the word, Al," he told her, watching her closely. He sighed softly and kissed her hand. "When are you going to get a break, huh? I'm so sorry, love. I know how much you want this. How hard you're trying. Why don't I go get Iz? She can come over and we can all eat loads of junk food and watch... Dirty Dancing? Grease? Monty Python? We'll stay until Andrew comes home, we can help you out with Sunshine. And if you want to cry, you can cry, and we'll be here with loads of Kleenex and ice cream."
The reflexive part of Ali's brain was trying to kick in and turn down his offers so she wasn't a bother for him. But the stronger side had her nodding and squeezing his hand gratefully. It was like the old days, they were always there as a threesome when things went wrong, Monty Python marathons more than a tradition when one of them was having a bad day. "I'd really like that," she agreed quietly and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "And if you can pull some strings to get him home, it would... really mean a lot to me."
James just kissed her cheek back and gave her a long hug, rubbing her back. He was awed that she was crying when his throat felt tight like he wanted to himself. He meant it when he promised her he would make up all the bad times for her, and he would walk to Chicago himself to bring Andrew home if he had to. But that all aside, even though it came on yet another heartache for Ali, for the first time since he walked out on their lives and then returned, right at that moment, he felt more like his old self than he had in a long time. How had he missed for so long that nothing was ever going to feel right without his two best friends beside him?
Word Count | 1,276