just_muse_me | 22.1.5. John A. Simone quote
22.1.5. "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." - John A. Simone
Co-written with agentsullivan
[Simultaneous to THIS]
Ali's cow jammies had gone in favour of one of Andrew's old, stretched paramedic t-shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. This is what she was adorned in when she answered the door, her wavy hair pulled back in a loose ponytail to get it out of her face. She had hardly said anything to James when she greeted him at the door and now just sat on the sofa across from him, looking at him tiredly. "I know Andy was worried, but you didn't have to come check on me. You get an extended lunch break or something?" she asked, pushing some stray loose strands out of her face and tucking them behind her ear.
James shook his head. "Nope, I'm on field work for the SS today. I've not been at HQ. He sounded more than worried about you, like you were about to puke yourself into oblivion. You look terrible. I'm not sure whether to buy the stomach bug thing. Have you been on a bender? Did things get too much or something? No one would blame you if you did, love. It's not like I haven't written myself off in the past when things were tough."
Ali continued to look at him blankly. "If that was going to happen, it would have been months ago. Breastfeeding stopped me doing countless stupid things. Besides, I wouldn't do that to Andrew. It would be like a slap in the face considering his past." Her hand went to her stomach as she tried to nurse away the sickly nausea. It was easing from what it had been that morning, but it didn't feel like it was going to vanish any time soon. The only thing she managed to get into her mouth had been two dry crackers, but even they were on a rapid return ticket and didn't stick around to see the sights for long.
"What past?" James asked. He knew that Andrew's father had been killed in a car crash with Andrew in the car, but Ali hadn't spoken all that extensively about her fiance's past. He certainly hadn't gotten close enough to Andrew to learn anything himself, something he desperately needed to rectify ASAP.
Ali rested her head against the sofa and tucked her legs up underneath her. She was keeping a bucket in easy reach in case she couldn't make the dash to the bathroom if the nausea swelled. "He's a reformed alcoholic. He doesn't drink. You probably haven't really noticed because he's discreet with it. It's not like it seems. It was only a brief period, but it was bad. He started after his Dad died and his cousin helped him through it. He got through it with AA and lived in England for a year to recover. He nearly killed himself on a bender one night. That was his wake up call. So, you can see why I wouldn't be writing myself off. Plus, I'm still semi-breastfeeding Sunshine, but we're transitioning her to formula and solids." She didn't think she would be able to cope with breastfeeding when she was pregnant. The notion alone made her wince internally and she put her hand up to her face, rubbing at it tiredly.
James frowned apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make assumptions. I was just worried because he was worried. It was like he didn't want you to be alone."
Ali realised with that statement just how terrified Andrew was. She knew he was worried she wouldn't cope physically, but it waspsychologically too. She hadn't given him much to allay the fears either. She pressed her fingers to her lips, knowing she needed to talk to him about it. She was scared, but so was he. She couldn't freak out and let it all drown her because Andrew needed her as much as she needed him. "I'm pregnant, Jimbo," she told him with a tired sigh. "Again. And you make any fucking jokes or snide remarks about anything to do with dicks and fucking and sperm, I will gouge your balls out with a fucking spoon and feed them to a passing pigeon."
James mouth dropped open slightly, his blue eyes wide. "Holy fuck, you are pregnant," he realised. "I didn't get you pregnant! Just remember that! It's not my fault."
A frown set on Ali's features. "No, but you got Harri pregnant. You should be very, very scared. We're both pregnant now. You better watch out, or Iz might show up on your doorstep and tell you she's knocked up too. It's something in the water. It's got to be!" But the semi mood swing faltered and she put her hands over her face. "The strange part is, I do want another baby with Andrew. I just didn't think it would be this soon. I feel sick and buggered. I don't like being pregnant. I just don't. I'm not an earth mother in touch with my inner goddess. My inner goddess wants to put my boobs in the fridge to stop them hurting and sit in front of the TV with my pants undone. My innergoodness is Al Bundy."
James tried to stifle a laugh, but it wasn't successful, causing him to snort in amusement instead. "I know I'm a dipstick male, but I don't think there is any rules saying you have to like being pregnant to be a good Mum, because you're a fantastic one, Al. You just are, okay? Who gives a snot if you want to gorge on ice cream and fart without apologising? It still doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you a great one who hates being pregnant. And I know it's easy for me to say, but it's not going to last forever, is it? I won't make any promises because I know you don't trust me when I do, but you won't be alone this time. You can moan to any of us about how horrible anduncomfortable it is. Because you know what? If you create another kid like Jamie? It'll just be awesome."
"I want to smack you so hard right now," was Ali's answer. She started anxiously playing with her engagement ring, curling it around her finger over and over. "Nine months can feel like forever. I just... I don't knowspecifically how I'm supposed to feel. When I found out I was pregnant the first time, all I felt was sheer, blinding anger and terror. I was bracing myself for the same feeling, but it's not there. It's different. The pregnant feels the same, and it's still crap, but in my heart, it doesn't feel too bad. I'm going to marry him. He's going to be my husband. I want the family thing, Jimbo. Can you believe it? I want to be a wife and a Mum. I don't want to do it the conventional way and I'm definitely not fucking joining any PTA groups or fingerpainting mothers meetings or shit like that, but I want it. I never thought I would want it. I used to pull the piss out of bitches like me. I'm a fucking hypocrite."
James got up to sit beside her and hug his arms around her. "Yeah, you're a bitch. You're one of the best, even. But you aren't a hypocrite because you've changed. I'm not letting you sit there and bad mouth my BFF," he joked and kissed her head. "With the shit you've had to deal with, there was no way you weren't going to change. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, because it won't be, but I think you're more content right here, right now, even knocked up and nauseous, than you have ever been in your entire life."
"Knocked up and nauseous," Ali said with a teary laugh, leaning gratefully into the hug. "I'm so getting a t-shirt that says that. Are you telling me I should just suck it up and let myself be happy I'm pregnant for the second time in a year?"
Jame tilted his head with a small shrug. "I'm telling you that you should suck it up and let yourself be happy you're expecting your husband-to-be's rugrat, which is going to be an awesome little brother or sister to our Jamie. And this time, I'm not missing a thing, Al. I'll be there for you with the whole thing. We all will be."
Ali looked at him helplessly. "I'm going to be a pregnant bride," she realised. "They're going to make me look like a poofy meringue to hide the bump. They'll make me wear sequins and tulle! I'm going to be a shiny marshmallow with tiara!"
James gave her a squeeze and shook his head firmly. "No fucking way. Whoever they are, they can fuck off. Harri's got the fashion world at her fingertips. She'll help you be the most gorgeous, hot pregnant bride ever and there will be no hiding the bump. How far along will you be when you get married?"
"Seven months," Ali said sheepishly. "I couldn't see my feet at seven months with Sunshine... how the eff am I supposed to walk up the aisle and radiantly glow like a bride? I think I'll just plant myself near the wedding cake with a spoon while you all do the celebration thing."
James' eyebrows shot up but then he smirked. "You would do that even if you weren't knocked up," he sniggered. "Any option to bring it forward?"
"Hey, bride's fucking prerogative. I would look stunning and bridely while stuffing my face." Ali sighed, feeling more tiredness wash over her which reminded her she needed to start taking those submarine-esque pregnancy vitamins again when she could force them down her throat without the gag reflex kicking in. "I need to talk to Andrew. Do you really think Harri wouldn't mind helping me? I don't know anything about bloody weddings, let alone pregnant ones. I hadn't given it much thought. We just set the date and now this."
"She'll do anything she can to help," James assured her. "But the talking to your other half, that's something you have to do alone."
Ali nodded. "As soon as he comes home, I will... after I feel him up a bit," she had to add.
James just laughed. "Okay, maybe some things never change."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,725
Co-written with agentsullivan
[Simultaneous to THIS]
Ali's cow jammies had gone in favour of one of Andrew's old, stretched paramedic t-shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. This is what she was adorned in when she answered the door, her wavy hair pulled back in a loose ponytail to get it out of her face. She had hardly said anything to James when she greeted him at the door and now just sat on the sofa across from him, looking at him tiredly. "I know Andy was worried, but you didn't have to come check on me. You get an extended lunch break or something?" she asked, pushing some stray loose strands out of her face and tucking them behind her ear.
James shook his head. "Nope, I'm on field work for the SS today. I've not been at HQ. He sounded more than worried about you, like you were about to puke yourself into oblivion. You look terrible. I'm not sure whether to buy the stomach bug thing. Have you been on a bender? Did things get too much or something? No one would blame you if you did, love. It's not like I haven't written myself off in the past when things were tough."
Ali continued to look at him blankly. "If that was going to happen, it would have been months ago. Breastfeeding stopped me doing countless stupid things. Besides, I wouldn't do that to Andrew. It would be like a slap in the face considering his past." Her hand went to her stomach as she tried to nurse away the sickly nausea. It was easing from what it had been that morning, but it didn't feel like it was going to vanish any time soon. The only thing she managed to get into her mouth had been two dry crackers, but even they were on a rapid return ticket and didn't stick around to see the sights for long.
"What past?" James asked. He knew that Andrew's father had been killed in a car crash with Andrew in the car, but Ali hadn't spoken all that extensively about her fiance's past. He certainly hadn't gotten close enough to Andrew to learn anything himself, something he desperately needed to rectify ASAP.
Ali rested her head against the sofa and tucked her legs up underneath her. She was keeping a bucket in easy reach in case she couldn't make the dash to the bathroom if the nausea swelled. "He's a reformed alcoholic. He doesn't drink. You probably haven't really noticed because he's discreet with it. It's not like it seems. It was only a brief period, but it was bad. He started after his Dad died and his cousin helped him through it. He got through it with AA and lived in England for a year to recover. He nearly killed himself on a bender one night. That was his wake up call. So, you can see why I wouldn't be writing myself off. Plus, I'm still semi-breastfeeding Sunshine, but we're transitioning her to formula and solids." She didn't think she would be able to cope with breastfeeding when she was pregnant. The notion alone made her wince internally and she put her hand up to her face, rubbing at it tiredly.
James frowned apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make assumptions. I was just worried because he was worried. It was like he didn't want you to be alone."
Ali realised with that statement just how terrified Andrew was. She knew he was worried she wouldn't cope physically, but it waspsychologically too. She hadn't given him much to allay the fears either. She pressed her fingers to her lips, knowing she needed to talk to him about it. She was scared, but so was he. She couldn't freak out and let it all drown her because Andrew needed her as much as she needed him. "I'm pregnant, Jimbo," she told him with a tired sigh. "Again. And you make any fucking jokes or snide remarks about anything to do with dicks and fucking and sperm, I will gouge your balls out with a fucking spoon and feed them to a passing pigeon."
James mouth dropped open slightly, his blue eyes wide. "Holy fuck, you are pregnant," he realised. "I didn't get you pregnant! Just remember that! It's not my fault."
A frown set on Ali's features. "No, but you got Harri pregnant. You should be very, very scared. We're both pregnant now. You better watch out, or Iz might show up on your doorstep and tell you she's knocked up too. It's something in the water. It's got to be!" But the semi mood swing faltered and she put her hands over her face. "The strange part is, I do want another baby with Andrew. I just didn't think it would be this soon. I feel sick and buggered. I don't like being pregnant. I just don't. I'm not an earth mother in touch with my inner goddess. My inner goddess wants to put my boobs in the fridge to stop them hurting and sit in front of the TV with my pants undone. My innergoodness is Al Bundy."
James tried to stifle a laugh, but it wasn't successful, causing him to snort in amusement instead. "I know I'm a dipstick male, but I don't think there is any rules saying you have to like being pregnant to be a good Mum, because you're a fantastic one, Al. You just are, okay? Who gives a snot if you want to gorge on ice cream and fart without apologising? It still doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you a great one who hates being pregnant. And I know it's easy for me to say, but it's not going to last forever, is it? I won't make any promises because I know you don't trust me when I do, but you won't be alone this time. You can moan to any of us about how horrible anduncomfortable it is. Because you know what? If you create another kid like Jamie? It'll just be awesome."
"I want to smack you so hard right now," was Ali's answer. She started anxiously playing with her engagement ring, curling it around her finger over and over. "Nine months can feel like forever. I just... I don't knowspecifically how I'm supposed to feel. When I found out I was pregnant the first time, all I felt was sheer, blinding anger and terror. I was bracing myself for the same feeling, but it's not there. It's different. The pregnant feels the same, and it's still crap, but in my heart, it doesn't feel too bad. I'm going to marry him. He's going to be my husband. I want the family thing, Jimbo. Can you believe it? I want to be a wife and a Mum. I don't want to do it the conventional way and I'm definitely not fucking joining any PTA groups or fingerpainting mothers meetings or shit like that, but I want it. I never thought I would want it. I used to pull the piss out of bitches like me. I'm a fucking hypocrite."
James got up to sit beside her and hug his arms around her. "Yeah, you're a bitch. You're one of the best, even. But you aren't a hypocrite because you've changed. I'm not letting you sit there and bad mouth my BFF," he joked and kissed her head. "With the shit you've had to deal with, there was no way you weren't going to change. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, because it won't be, but I think you're more content right here, right now, even knocked up and nauseous, than you have ever been in your entire life."
"Knocked up and nauseous," Ali said with a teary laugh, leaning gratefully into the hug. "I'm so getting a t-shirt that says that. Are you telling me I should just suck it up and let myself be happy I'm pregnant for the second time in a year?"
Jame tilted his head with a small shrug. "I'm telling you that you should suck it up and let yourself be happy you're expecting your husband-to-be's rugrat, which is going to be an awesome little brother or sister to our Jamie. And this time, I'm not missing a thing, Al. I'll be there for you with the whole thing. We all will be."
Ali looked at him helplessly. "I'm going to be a pregnant bride," she realised. "They're going to make me look like a poofy meringue to hide the bump. They'll make me wear sequins and tulle! I'm going to be a shiny marshmallow with tiara!"
James gave her a squeeze and shook his head firmly. "No fucking way. Whoever they are, they can fuck off. Harri's got the fashion world at her fingertips. She'll help you be the most gorgeous, hot pregnant bride ever and there will be no hiding the bump. How far along will you be when you get married?"
"Seven months," Ali said sheepishly. "I couldn't see my feet at seven months with Sunshine... how the eff am I supposed to walk up the aisle and radiantly glow like a bride? I think I'll just plant myself near the wedding cake with a spoon while you all do the celebration thing."
James' eyebrows shot up but then he smirked. "You would do that even if you weren't knocked up," he sniggered. "Any option to bring it forward?"
"Hey, bride's fucking prerogative. I would look stunning and bridely while stuffing my face." Ali sighed, feeling more tiredness wash over her which reminded her she needed to start taking those submarine-esque pregnancy vitamins again when she could force them down her throat without the gag reflex kicking in. "I need to talk to Andrew. Do you really think Harri wouldn't mind helping me? I don't know anything about bloody weddings, let alone pregnant ones. I hadn't given it much thought. We just set the date and now this."
"She'll do anything she can to help," James assured her. "But the talking to your other half, that's something you have to do alone."
Ali nodded. "As soon as he comes home, I will... after I feel him up a bit," she had to add.
James just laughed. "Okay, maybe some things never change."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,725