Fic: Empire State of Mind - Chapter 7: Two Become One - Part 1

[agentb81]

Title:  Empire State of Mind - Chapter 7: Two Become One
Author: agentb81 & lizzylizbian
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Brittany/Santana
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 10900
Disclaimer: Glee is copyrighted and belongs to the creators and Fox. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not
for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Use of other

Comments

[rigelinorion]

Well gals, I've been given a stack of cookbooks to occupy me at my friend's house when everyone else sleeps..I really want to read them but have I touched them? No..coz I'm rereading this and would rather review instead!

Firstup, kudos for the seamless style. I think I went quite beyond the swtichover point before I even noticed anything but even then it was a v subtle shift and more a sense of individuality and not anything jarring at all. In fact it was a pleasant buzz..of course I may be totally wrong about it! I've read both your styles and enjoy both. Here it's a beautiful blend that textures this update so beautifully.

Quinn's teasing of a dreamy san in the kitchen! Priceless! And kurt as sports coach! Clever comparison. And relatable. Havent we all had to pull up a pep talk as a friend and love how britt is sort of the catalyst and the glue that has helped san forge other friendships unconsciously..wow really touching..

And I love the idea of our gals cooking together, esp how San is so patient and encouraging w britt. We know she's demanding in the kitchen usually..heehee gal is in love! Smiling fondly as she watches britt cook, how adorbs! And holding britt's hands to work the food cuddled up behind her. Damn, it's like foreplay but really tender all at once!

The conversation and little brittanisms just made me smile throughout. Now I feel like making tiramisu..And San knowing that britt has seen her worst and at her weakest and not only britt accepts that but san being ok with britt having seen that, it's. So. Telling.

I'm gonna agree with san about britt being smart and I love that through (both) your writing, I get to see britt through san's eyes.

Santana asking to see britt please. I felt my throat clutch with emotion. It was just so beautifully built up. And love the recurring theme that Santana herself was brittany's present. It was fluffy but not tried. It was gentle but so passionate...and tender.

- "Careful, or I'll squish you." -
And then that? San is sooo cute and careful with britt. Love that contrast like she's a master in the kitchen (and we know she didn't see much outside the kitchen before she met britt) and a willing slave with britt.

Loved when San wanted it all to be about britt but swooned when britt insisted. The gift of giving..(yay!)

And then it gets sexier?? How do you do it. That bit with britt being sensitive from the first one but trying to hold back for San, desperately wanting to finish together. Breathless...

Then they do and it's perfect. They call out their love and it's not cheesy. It just fits.

K I hope this comment goes through smoothly on iPhone. I will die if it gets lost posting. The two of you make this collaboration work. Happy belated bday lizzy.

[agentb81]

Oh my gosh, that's such a long comment. I commend you and thank you tremendously for taking the time to read it and write such a detailed comment.

I'm so pleased you picked up on the seamlessness of the switchover, Lizzy did an amazing job at picking it up and continuing the way she did. I truly thought we could compliment each other's styles and judging by the reaction I think it worked!

Your observations and comments are exactly how I hoped the words would be depicted and I'm so happy they've come across as intended. It's always lovely to hear how much it's appreciated. Whenever I write I have my favourite little bits and then when you pick them out, it's even more gratifying and encourages me to do more and do better.

I totally agree with you regarding the bedroom scene, that was all Lizzy, she has a firm grasp on the fic as a whole, the characterisations and wrote like she'd written the whole the thing, I cannot praise her enough and she'll be really thrilled to read your comments. And she thanks you for her birthday wishes :) she would say *muah!