Fic: A Sense of Deja Vu - Part 6/?
Title: A Sense of Deja Vu 6/?
Author: agentb81
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU & Grey’s Anatomy - crossover
Pairing: Olivia/Alex & Izzie/Addison
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.
Summary: Set in NY, two old friends, Alex and Addison, find it difficult to communicate their feelings to their respective crushes. Multi chapter fic.
Spoilers: Starts after season 3 in Grey’s Anatomy and after Alex’s return to SVU during season 10.
It was seven o’clock, Isobel Stevens stared at the cell phone in her right hand, then switched her focus to the scrap of paper in her left. She ran her thumb over the familiar scrawl on the paper. Her hands shook nervously, never in all the times of preparing for surgery or taking her exams had her hands ever shook. She looked at them, willing them to stop, her heart rate quickened, the vital organ threatening to burst out of her chest. The blond closed her eyes tightly, envisioning herself dialling the number, preparing herself to hear Addison’s voice on the other end of the line. She released the breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding, opened her eyes and regained the tough Izzie Stevens bravado she had grown up with in the trailer park. If she didn’t do it now, she didn’t think she could.
Carefully she dialled, following the numbers with precision, a concentrated look on her face. She was sat on the edge of the bed, partially for the comfort, but it also gave her the option to stand if she needed, sometimes she felt more at ease on her feet, being a doctor this came naturally to her. Izzie put the phone to her ear, she was very aware of her breathing and subsequently smiled at the thought of Addison thinking she was answering a dirty phone call. As soon as the smile appeared it faded at the very memory of one particular phone call a lonely Addison Montgomery had once awoken a sleeping Izzie Stevens with in the middle of the night. The ringing on the other end stopped abruptly, a short pause which to the blond felt like forever, waiting to hear that voice again.
“Dr Montgomery?” The voice answered.
“Er, Addie, it’s me.” Izzie cursed herself for using Addison’s short name.
“Iz.” Addison sounded relieved. “How are you?”
“I’m good.” There was a pause.
“I’m glad you called.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Iz, I can’t tell you how happy, surprised, but happy I was to see you.” The older doctor sounded genuine, Izzie loved the different tones the redhead used to address differing situations. “Can we meet? Please?”
“When?”
“Now? I’ve just left the hospital. Where are you?”
“I’m at my hotel.”
“I could meet you at the bar there. If you want to, of course.”
“Yeah.” Izzie smiled, “I’d like that.”
“Which hotel are you at?”
“I’m at the Carlton on Madison Avenue.” Izzie revealed.
Addison paused momentarily, forgetting the fortune the blond had inherited last year. Izzie had had a brief ‘relationship’ with a patient that had led to a tumultuous time for the then intern. Following Denny’s death, Izzie inherited eight million dollars, most of which she invested in a new clinic at Seattle Grace Hospital. “It’s just a standard room Addison.” Izzie snarled feeling the need to fill the silence.
“I didn’t suggest otherwise.” Addison sighed.
“Meet me in the lobby bar.”
“It’s just a few blocks from here, I should make in ten, fifteen minutes.”
“I’ll be here.” Izzie stated simply.
“I’ll see you soon. Bye Izzie.”
“Bye Addison.” The blond said. She pressed a button to end the call and let out a huge sigh and flopped back onto the bed. She now had to mentally prepare herself to see Addison.
A few blocks away, Addison Montgomery removed the windswept hair from her face and placed her cell phone back in her pocket. She had missed Izzie terribly and having her turn up out of the blue had been a huge shock to her. The surgeon had struggled to concentrate for the remainder of her shift. The time had also slowed to almost a standstill. She looked to the night’s sky and smiled, thanking whoever or whatever was up there for sending Izzie to her. Despite it being her choice to leave, she was pleased the blond had come searching for her, it meant the younger woman must have feelings for her, or had she only come to finally get some closure? Doubt started to set in, Izzie hadn’t exactly come running with open arms. Addison took a deep breath and set upon her journey.
++
The shrill of a cell phone startled the blond who was sat working studiously at her large wooden desk. She looked up from the stack of paperwork and picked up the offending object. She smiled wistfully at the name on the display and answered swiftly.
“I thought you’d never call.” She cringed upon hearing her own voice afraid the caller may have picked up on the desperation in her tone.
“I said I would.” Came the silky voice. “Are you still working?”
“Yeah, I could do with a break, it’s what?” Alex flicked her wrist and stared at her watch, “seven. It’s been a long day.”
“It has for sure.” Olivia agreed as she yawned.
“Keeping you awake detective?” Alex smirked.
“More than you know.” The brunette mumbled.
“I’m sorry?” Alex hadn’t quite heard what Olivia had said.
“I’m just tired, it’s not you.” Clarified the detective.
“I hope you’re not still working too.”
“I’ve been ordered to call it a day and I was wondering if you’ve not eaten you’d like to have dinner with me?” Olivia asked nervously.
Alex smiled into the handset, “I’d love to. What do you have in mind?”
“Are you in the mood for Chinese food?”
“Chinese food sounds great, I could eat anything about now.” Alex replied enthusiastically.
“Good.” Olivia said, somewhat relieved.
There was a loud knocking at the ADA’s office door. The blond frowned, wondering who it could be so late.
“Hang on Liv, there’s someone at the door.”
“Ok.” The detective said.
There was another knock at the door. “COME IN.” Yelled Alex, making no attempt to move from her chair, she did however remove the frames from her features in preparation for her visitor. The door opened slowly.
“Geez Alex, no need to yell so loud.” The detective said, struggling through the door, phone in one hand and take out in the other. “You could give me a hand.” She huffed. Alex jumped to her feet, happy to see the detective. She rushed to her aid, taking the food from the brunette and placing it on the low coffee table in her office.
“It’s a good job I love spontaneity detective.”
“I’ll remember that.” Olivia smiled warmly as she flopped onto the sofa. Alex proceeded to take the containers from the bag along with the chopsticks.
“There’s no fork?” Alexed whined, placing herself next to Olivia.
“Alexandra Cabot, a woman of culture and class is asking to eat Chinese food with a fork?”
“I struggle a little with chopsticks, I’m not afraid to admit there’s something I’m not good at.” Alex smirked.
“I’m sorry, did I just hear you right?” Olivia said, her eyebrows almost meeting her hairline.
“For your ears only detective, I have a reputation to uphold.” Alex smiled.
“My lips are sealed.” The detective grinned lazily, catching Alex’s gaze, her eyes sparkled a brilliant blue under the office lights. The blond smiled thoughtfully.
“I’ve missed this.” Alex pondered aloud.
“What exactly?” asked Olivia.
“You and I hanging out, having fun.”
“Alex, I’m sorry if things were a little hostile when you came back to the unit.”
“You don’t have to apologise Liv, I understand.”
“I shouldn’t have treated you like that, it was selfish of me to expect everything to go back to normal when you came home.” Olivia said sadly with true regret.
“I didn’t know who I was anymore and all of a sudden I was thrust into the life of Alexandra Cabot again and I couldn’t cope with the pressure. I wanted to call Liv, I did, but at the same time I was scared the world had moved on and I was left behind.”
“I missed you so much Alex.” Olivia admitted with sadness.
Alex could feel the tears forming in her eyes, she looked to the ceiling, hoping the angle of her face would somehow keep them at bay. This was the start of a conversation she had imagined in her head a hundred times over, only now it was real. She set down the container she was holding and turned to face her companion. Olivia waited in anticipation, unsure of how the blond was going to react.
“I thought about you every day.” The ADA said quietly. “Every day in witness protection and every day in the three years since. You saved my life Liv, and then it was taken from me any way.” Her resolve had slipped and a tear escaped her eyes.
“Alex.” Olivia sympathised, she too placed her food container on the table before her then opened her arms to her colleague. “Come here.” She said, inviting the blond into her warm embrace. Alex obliged, scooted closer and settled into the detective’s arms, her head nestling on the strong shoulder, where she felt she belonged.
++
The lobby bar was dimly lit and scattered with patrons. Addison unbuttoned her coat and removed the scarf from her neck scouring the dark wood bar for her friend. She spotted a familiar figure sat on a bar stool sipping from a bottle of beer. The redhead approached her quietly and slowly, drinking in the presence of the blond, she still could not believe she was here. Addison took a moment to appreciate Izzie before the awkwardness of conversation would begin. She drew nearer to the spare stool beside the blond and spotted a tumbler filled with an amber liquid and ice on the bar. Addison smiled sweetly at the gesture. She removed her coat and placed it on the back of the stool.
“Hey.” Izzie turned at the greeting and smiled shyly. She jumped down from the stool to properly greet her companion, and tentatively hugged her former attending. Addison hugged her back, it remained slightly rigid, neither sure of how the other felt and complied with the politeness the situation required. They gently pulled apart and appraised one another having spent so much time apart.
“Hi.” Izzie finally replied. “Thank you for coming.”
“Don’t mention it Iz, you’re the one who’s trekked the breadth of the country.” Addison said, settling herself onto the bar stool. Izzie followed suit.
“I took the liberty of ordering you a drink.”
“Thank you.” Addison took a sip, if anything to steady her nerves, “You remembered just how I like it.”
Izzie smiled, there were a lot of things she remembered just how Addison liked it. “I should be mad at you but I can’t be.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re right here, and I can’t think straight when you’re around.”
Addison smiled, “Nice pun there Stevens.”
“You know what I mean.” Izzie sighed, “I can be mad at you when you’re thousands of miles away but when you smile like that, and say my name like that, I can’t concentrate, I can’t be angry at you.”
“You got the whole angry thing down when I was still in Seattle.” Addison said staring at the bottles behind the bar, she took another sip of her drink, the ice clanging against the side of the glass.
“I was confused and frustrated and I think I was more mad at myself than I was at you.” The blond explained before taking a swig from her bottle. “I’m sorry for taking it out on you.”
“Iz.” Addison’s abbreviation of Izzie’s name drove her crazy, she loved it, it was another thing that could undo her. The brunette turned to look at Izzie. “We were both in a weird place, we needed each other but I don’t think we knew how to define our relationship. I know it scared the hell out of me.”
“Me too.” Izzie smiled sadly. “But then you left and I missed you and I still needed you but you weren’t there.”
“I guess we both reacted to it badly, I’m sorry I left the way I did.”
“But you’re not sorry you left?” Izzie asked frowning.
“I’m home Izzie, I’m home and it feels so right to be back.”
“You’re staying?”
“Yes.” Addison replied, “I take over as Chief of Surgery next month, it was partly what lured me back in the first place. It wasn’t working in Seattle, here I have a promotion, I have a new apartment, a new life but best of all, I have my family and my best friend here.”
“Oh.” Was Izzie’s sad response. She swiped at an errant tear that had escaped. Addison noticed and placed her hand on Izzie’s thigh.
“There is one thing missing though.”
Izzie turned quickly to look at the woman beside her, “What is it?” she breathed.
“You Iz, you’re all I’ve thought about since I moved here.” Another tear escaped the blond. Addison sighed, she could see the blond had been through a tumultuous time, the redhead felt the same way. Taking pity upon the younger woman, she placed an arm around the blond’s shoulder, pulled her into her body and held her close as the tears continued to flow silently.
TBC . . .