More of a nightmare than a dream
...I totally have Recre on in the background and Tucker just did his giant jump of fail. Lulz.
That, and MissZ's fic did put me in a better mood after waking up from a dream that is more like mental torture.
Well, perhaps I exaggerate. A bit. But still, it sucked. Because said dream involved Ben, but he wasn't being a complete douchebag. No, he was treating me the way he did back when he thought I wasn't a horrible person, as he so kindly reminded me.
Back when he still loved me, and I loved him. Holding my hand, kissing my neck (no BCBW) and just talking and laughing the way we used to.
And fucking hell, when I woke up I /missed/ him. Which is bullshit because I could never be with him again, and I don't want to because it will only go sour again and he will break me just when I am starting to get better.
So no.
I hate myself for missing him, and I hate that motherfucking bastard more for one upping me in a goddamn dream.
That, and MissZ's fic did put me in a better mood after waking up from a dream that is more like mental torture.
Well, perhaps I exaggerate. A bit. But still, it sucked. Because said dream involved Ben, but he wasn't being a complete douchebag. No, he was treating me the way he did back when he thought I wasn't a horrible person, as he so kindly reminded me.
Back when he still loved me, and I loved him. Holding my hand, kissing my neck (no BCBW) and just talking and laughing the way we used to.
And fucking hell, when I woke up I /missed/ him. Which is bullshit because I could never be with him again, and I don't want to because it will only go sour again and he will break me just when I am starting to get better.
So no.
I hate myself for missing him, and I hate that motherfucking bastard more for one upping me in a goddamn dream.