Soul Meets Body
Grey skies dominated the day, keeping him indoors. The rain, while not a downpour, was enough to make him question his plans to go out. After hours of staring at rain clouds and puddles he decided life was too short to waste looking out of windows and thinking of what could have been. In his car, with the window down and a cigarette lit, he drove
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I get the nostalgic urge you got from time to time as well. You know me, always living in the past, I can't seem to let go of it. To be completely honest with you I'm not doing that great lately. This post was written awhile ago, when things were good or at the least looking up, but that's not the case currently. We really haven't spoken in awhile to its hard for me to really pick a starting point to tell you things, I guess this past year is as good as any.
I live completely on my own, which despite what I say up above, has not been good for me. For awhile I could ignore the loneliness that has plagued me since you knew me, but its been really bad recently. Its gotten to the point that I'm having panic attacks directly related to my feelings of loneliness. It doesn't help that the only girl who has shown interest in me is engaged (which is a complicated and long story by itself) and the girl I was hoping to pursue something with doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now. So in that part of my life its the same old me, hopeless romantic with no hope in the future. All around me friends are getting engaged or married and it makes me feel like I'm missing out. I wonder if I missed something over the years that they obviously found. Life is currently using me as a punching bag so forgive the morose sound of this update.
Besides that I'm still writing quite a lot these days, my new found love of photography keeps me somewhat busy (not as much in these colder months) and I'm still working the same shitty grocery store job. To be honest I'm a lot like the person you used to know, but I'm definitely different. I'm nowhere near as shy or soft spoken as I used to be. Somewhere along the line I learned confidence (or at least figured out how to fake it) although my self esteem is still pretty low. Besides some tattoos and a couple piercings you'd still know me if you saw me. The biggest changes have been mental.
I have to say that I was surprised to see a comment from you on here. A good surprise. When I read through my old writings I always come across the ones that were inspired by you and it brings back good memories. I miss the crazy and hilarious times we had. Its seems like a lifetime ago, and in some ways it actually was. I do miss you too, you were a big part of my life, and a really great friend.
This is ridiculously long so feel free to send me an email or something if you'd like to continue this conversation.
agentsmithes@gmail.com in case you don't have it.
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