I'm Baaaaack!
Wow, it has been so long since I last wrote an entry in my journal here that I'm afraid to find out what I last wrote about lol. I'm sure it was awful.
Anyway, I've decided to give up the mushy crap (especially since most of you know that my boyfriend is far from romantic...) and just use this from now on to vent and rant.
Today though, I need to share some feelings I've been having recently. I haven't been doing so well in school lately, and I think it's a combination of several factors: work, Adolfo, and school itself. Work has been especially stressful this semester and that definitely has affected my grades.
I have just been so tired and burnt out. I used to love school so much. Learning was my passion and the only problem I used to have is that I was interested in everything. Now, I feel like it's the total opposite. My own major just isn't interesting me like it used to.
And that really bothers me. I used to get excited about learning new kanji and grammar. I used to love coming up with creative sentences. I enjoyed learning about the history and the culture. Reading those boring old texts used to turn me on! (Not really, but you get the picture).
But now, I read my textbooks because I have to instead of for fun (if I even read them at all). I dread going to Japanese class; I'm so far behind because I pretty much hate it anymore. I feel like my classmates make fun of me behind my back because of my inferiority in the language (which they don't really. I love my friends. I miss the ones that are in Japan right now!); really, it has to deal more with my own guilt than anything. I'm afraid to be called on in class because I don't know the answer, and I'm going to either cry or die when I have to present my sakubun in class tomorrow or Friday since it will only be slightly better than Stanley's (and even then only because it's about something to do with Japan and not about myself -_-;;)
I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I want to take some time off to kind of get my life back together, but that isn't even an option. Maybe taking less credits per semester would help a little (although I desperately wanted to graduate with my friends. Oh well. Guess I'll be stuck here by myself....)
Honestly, the only this that even excited me in the least recently has been writing (well, and the knew Harry Potter movie, but that's different :P). I took a course in creative writing this semester and it rekindled the love I used to have for it. I don't know if my writing's any good though to do it professionally some day....
Whatever, I have a lot to think about. Any help would be appreciated. Lots of love to you all and sorry if this is in your "friends" section and taking up the whole page >.
Anyway, I've decided to give up the mushy crap (especially since most of you know that my boyfriend is far from romantic...) and just use this from now on to vent and rant.
Today though, I need to share some feelings I've been having recently. I haven't been doing so well in school lately, and I think it's a combination of several factors: work, Adolfo, and school itself. Work has been especially stressful this semester and that definitely has affected my grades.
I have just been so tired and burnt out. I used to love school so much. Learning was my passion and the only problem I used to have is that I was interested in everything. Now, I feel like it's the total opposite. My own major just isn't interesting me like it used to.
And that really bothers me. I used to get excited about learning new kanji and grammar. I used to love coming up with creative sentences. I enjoyed learning about the history and the culture. Reading those boring old texts used to turn me on! (Not really, but you get the picture).
But now, I read my textbooks because I have to instead of for fun (if I even read them at all). I dread going to Japanese class; I'm so far behind because I pretty much hate it anymore. I feel like my classmates make fun of me behind my back because of my inferiority in the language (which they don't really. I love my friends. I miss the ones that are in Japan right now!); really, it has to deal more with my own guilt than anything. I'm afraid to be called on in class because I don't know the answer, and I'm going to either cry or die when I have to present my sakubun in class tomorrow or Friday since it will only be slightly better than Stanley's (and even then only because it's about something to do with Japan and not about myself -_-;;)
I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I want to take some time off to kind of get my life back together, but that isn't even an option. Maybe taking less credits per semester would help a little (although I desperately wanted to graduate with my friends. Oh well. Guess I'll be stuck here by myself....)
Honestly, the only this that even excited me in the least recently has been writing (well, and the knew Harry Potter movie, but that's different :P). I took a course in creative writing this semester and it rekindled the love I used to have for it. I don't know if my writing's any good though to do it professionally some day....
Whatever, I have a lot to think about. Any help would be appreciated. Lots of love to you all and sorry if this is in your "friends" section and taking up the whole page >.