Smith had locked and barred his door and ignored all possibly knocking that occured during the day. The loss of the giant white prophylactic ball of doom had the school at a distinct disadvantage.
Security was a good thing. Someone needed to be in charge of school security.
Smith turns to the internet. Because you can find anything on the internet.
Like, say, Mounties for Hire.
He skimmed the resume, felt suitably impressed, and hired him without an interview, or correspondance of any sort.
That would work out okay, right?