Getting rid of a ghost...
Yesterday, I was cleaning out my closet and organizing my room when I stumbled across an old picture of Craig and I on our first night as a couple. It was one of those cheesy photobooth snapshots where we were being silly and making out for the camera. Normally, I would have warm fuzzy feelings, but when I saw this picture it brought me ALOT of pain and reminders of what he did to me in our relationship of nine months. In other words this picture of him and I made me physically ill.
So I took that damned picture and I went out into the back yard where I burned it. But as I burned it I sort of chanted to myself, binding him from causing anymore harm to me or anyone else. As the picture was burning, I pictured him getting every single bad thing he deserves in life for the way he treated me and everyone around him because that is exactally what he deserves and I don't wish him well.
I know it's been awhile since I called it quits with him, but no one really knows the damamge that man has done to me and I know I am going to need professional help because I can't keep this bottled up inside, it's just not healthy. Of course it wasn't healthy dating my rapist to begin with. But then again, how was I supposed to know? Sometimes I wonder if the way Craig treated me was really my fault? Or was he just fucked to begin with? Well, after meeting his family, (especially his mother aka The Queen Of The Culdasak and his fat male chauvanistic pig of a step-father) you be the judge.
Well, now none of that matters. I am now living my life for me for a change, and I am talking to people about what I went through and it seems like I am not the only one who has been through this. There are others like me and everyday I think about it, I know more and more that it wasn't my fault. Craig had a sickness and through that sickness, he still does continue to find his victims. I couldn't stop him, but maybe someone else can. I can only hope. I'm just happy that he's out of my life and the nightmares are not as frequent as they used to be.
So I took that damned picture and I went out into the back yard where I burned it. But as I burned it I sort of chanted to myself, binding him from causing anymore harm to me or anyone else. As the picture was burning, I pictured him getting every single bad thing he deserves in life for the way he treated me and everyone around him because that is exactally what he deserves and I don't wish him well.
I know it's been awhile since I called it quits with him, but no one really knows the damamge that man has done to me and I know I am going to need professional help because I can't keep this bottled up inside, it's just not healthy. Of course it wasn't healthy dating my rapist to begin with. But then again, how was I supposed to know? Sometimes I wonder if the way Craig treated me was really my fault? Or was he just fucked to begin with? Well, after meeting his family, (especially his mother aka The Queen Of The Culdasak and his fat male chauvanistic pig of a step-father) you be the judge.
Well, now none of that matters. I am now living my life for me for a change, and I am talking to people about what I went through and it seems like I am not the only one who has been through this. There are others like me and everyday I think about it, I know more and more that it wasn't my fault. Craig had a sickness and through that sickness, he still does continue to find his victims. I couldn't stop him, but maybe someone else can. I can only hope. I'm just happy that he's out of my life and the nightmares are not as frequent as they used to be.