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Hello world, or at best 1 person in it. Whats your name, favourite colour? Mines blue. Always has been no good reason why just is. Have you ever not washed a mug or plate for days and then stared at it for ages. When i was in my teens a friend died of a brain hemorage in his sleep after getting into a fight. He was 16. I went to his funeral
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We should be able to walk the streets as we like defo, but it's just not that simple. If i could wear whatevver i'd happily, sit in the pub in a rubber catsuit. Plus sides are the feel, and the wasy clean if you spill your drink, but the outway'd somewhat by the downsides, the change of getting in a fight, and the way my tummy wouldn't be hiden as well as it is in baggier clothes. But also certian forms of dress make people react to you differently, and then inturn you to them, changing you, which isn't always good. Most days it isn't a concern to me, especially as most days it's only me who see's me, so comfort is the order of the day. But i think if i really let go in dressing freedoms, people would react a lot differently to me, and some people would drift away. But i seem to be coming to a time, when that doesn't seem so much like a bad thing. If friendship groups are tree's. I'm just beyond a sapling, roots are younger years lots of people all with things in common. But as you grow, and branches start to form, you move apart as you want and become different things. I'm moving off in a different direction than many of the folks i know my ages (not all), but i need to grow and then have some new leaves this year. It's an exciting but scarry year.
I need to take my pictures around my auntiezs this week, i promised i would. But it will be a fall day of eyes leaking thats whats putting me off. Theres some great memories in them though. The ones that stand out in my memory are playing in the garden with my brother and almost being hit by a bird, weirdly theres a photo right at the moment it buzzed us, but i don't remember the photo being taken just the incident. The pictures of me on first morning before school. In new uniform very scarred with my mum, the only school day i'd ever look smart. And then old pictures of my dad in his army lorry in the desert, obviously these arn't first hand memorys, but an interesting insight into the other man he was before he was my Dad.
Memorys are intersting, i'm glad we get to keep them.
What is your favourite memory of being a child?
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i had a red bedroom once. it was a sorta dark raspberry red. it was ok, perhaps a bit dark but didn't really bother me. it was the grey carpet i hated.
rubber catsuit eh? i have some rubber clothes... they can get a bit sweaty and they're not the easiest to put on. i think if you're hairy you get your hair caught in it too *youch* good for holding you in tho, bye bye beer belly. i used to dress very differently (before i became a professional) and people thought i was a satanist. i quite liked that cos it tended to filter out a lot of assholes and show people for who they really are. i also had dreadlocks for a while and the police would move me on quick whenever i was passing a protest :) it is amusing to see how differnetly you can be treated for how you dress. i can remember me and my mate jo going down the local metallers pub in short skirts and tank girl boots and counting the number of toots we got from passing cars. i think you should be able to express the person you are in the way you dress and if people can't accept that then maybe they don't understand you and aren't a real friend in the first place. there's a lot of acquaintances in life and fewer friends.
my favourite childhood memory... thats tough, i have a lot of happy memories... it took me a while to recall any. a very early one was from play school, so i must've been about 3. i had these little plastic care bear figures that i used to carry round with me (the funshine bear was my favourite, she was standing on tip toes with a butterfly on her fingertips). anyway they would take away our toys when we got to playschool and put them high up on a shelf. at playschool i had 2 good friends called guy and james. guy was my bestfriend, we were born in the same hospital and were babies together, i thought i'd marry him when i was little! anyway i remember i hated giving them my toys and wanted them back so we devised a plan to get them off the shelf and suceeded, i think it involved a piggyback or something. it was all very muppet babies. i can also remember when my dad used to turn the settee upside down and we would play under it like it was a tunnel. and i can remember making a special potion in the back garden which i was hoping would make me and my brother be able to fly. i have a very good memory when it comes to being little. i don't think i could poinpoint one favourite memory... there are too many. i alwys loved spending christmas at my grandparents... thats probly my favourite memory but really its a collection of memories.
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Well i'm in the middle of painting rooms now, but i'm having to paint them nutral, nice colours as i'm not really painting for me, but for perspective buyers (fingers crossed(harder to type)).
Luckily i'm not very hairy so i don't have that problem. But on the bad side my tummy is partly food belly too, so even the rubber doesn't hold it back. Maybe i'll have to get a boned corset, or lose my tummy. Hmmm maybe thats a better option. I used to know a Jamaican lady who was a hairdresser and she always wanted to dreadlock my hair, but i resisted the urge because my hair is so fine i don't think it would have locked cool like Perry Farrell, i'd probably only had one dread. I imagine yours looked cooler though as your hair is much thicker than mine, and it always looks better with darker hair.
I used to be a metaller in my teens, and i had a friend who was really close when we where younger, but he became a raver (as the terms where at the time), and he once told his girlfriend i was a satanist. He was just confused, but for fun i used to play along with it. Unfortunatley half the girls at school where then scared of me. But as you say you know who your real friends are. The ones smart enough to see through my sarcasm.
I'm looking forward to an interesting year though, i seem to be going in the opposite direction to yourself. With your chose to be professional and responsible, at least in your outward appearance (i don't know if its inside and out). I think to a degree i kept a limit to my outrageousness as not to displease the parents. I was never at war with them and seeked there approval i guess. Plus i'm a paradox as in i have very old fashioned views in many ways as they where older than most parents. But now i have freedom, and nobody to be responsible for except me, it's like i'm getting to test the waters. For the last few years i felt like i was being warn down, and dressed to not get noticed, to just merge into the background and not to be bothered. But if i can get my finger out and set sail into the life i've been waiting for, then who knows what will happen. I'll be using Eddie Izzard as a fashion icon. In the way i don't want to be or look like a lady, but there shouldn't be aby rules as to whats for boys and whats for girls. And the door swings both ways, because my feet would hurt in heels 24/7 and then somedays i want to look tough (at least in my head) like a cowboys or a mechanic. I'm looking forward to having the chance to act i really am (side thought there).
Sounds like a good thing that you had trouble deciding on a no.1 memory. I found something recently that made my eyes leak, it's a bear i was given 1 minute into my life by my parents best friends, it was in my mums wardrobe, i felt really happy to have him back. Seems weird for a 30 year old man to think that way sbout stuffing and fur. But i guess its not just stuffing and fur really.
Sorry my reply is getting longer.
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i think its really sweet that you were reunited with your bear :) everyone should keep a childhood soft toy.
do you use msn messenger at all? we could chat sometime...
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The weird thing i keep remembering and i thought i might have felt more like now. When my Mum died i was 21. And after that i went into and real don't care what anyone thinks stage, as nothing more could hurt me. Not long after a friend at the time had her 21st in a soho bar. And i arrived in a big furry coat (not real fur) and blue PVC trousers. I felt fine and comfortable, but my girlfriend at the time wasn't so happy. Because as i later found out, people where saying things, i don't know what i never tried to findout. But they never said them to me they said them to her and she was upset by it. Not sure what the point of that story was but it seemed to have some significance.
I guess i'm just frustrated as i felt in someways now i could open my wings, but the reality is dawning that i still have someway to go before i can fly.
Yes, when i'm online i usually open messenger, my address is chris_russ@hotmail.com
Be good to chat, don't want to sound like a weird hermit, but i need to chat with more people.
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