strange place
i feel like i'm in a strange place in life...
most of the friends i had this time last year i haven't seen since... well... about this time last year. the people i spend most of my time with are at work, which means i spend most of my time with 14-18 year old students or 50+ year old colleagues. i'm on a normal adult 8-4 M-F schedule and absolutely refuse to be hung over or tired at work...
which is the main reason i don't think i've seen all those friends. most of them are still in college, and if they work, it's not full time or not the kind of job that they can't show up to hung over. i'm probably generalizing a bit, but it's like... i just don't do the same things they do, at all. i got invited out last night by an old friend that i hadn't heard from in a long time and i was really excited to go... and then the time kept getting pushed back until it was a full hour and a half later than he'd said. by that time, i was getting tired and kind of felt shitty anyway, and thought to myself, "Why should i force myself to go if i don't feel good anyway? and it's way later than i was told" and then when i let him know, he kind of gave me a hard time. it's like... really? what the fuck is up with people my age and never holding deadlines? it bothers me. i invite people over for dinner, and no matter what time i say, they think it's fine to just show up two hours late..... i'm sorry i just can't stay up that late, that's not my schedule.
it makes me wonder what friend really means, anyway. sure i had fun with these people, but were they really my friends? does it matter that i feel like my only real friends are my family, my boyfriend, and my dog?
most of the friends i had this time last year i haven't seen since... well... about this time last year. the people i spend most of my time with are at work, which means i spend most of my time with 14-18 year old students or 50+ year old colleagues. i'm on a normal adult 8-4 M-F schedule and absolutely refuse to be hung over or tired at work...
which is the main reason i don't think i've seen all those friends. most of them are still in college, and if they work, it's not full time or not the kind of job that they can't show up to hung over. i'm probably generalizing a bit, but it's like... i just don't do the same things they do, at all. i got invited out last night by an old friend that i hadn't heard from in a long time and i was really excited to go... and then the time kept getting pushed back until it was a full hour and a half later than he'd said. by that time, i was getting tired and kind of felt shitty anyway, and thought to myself, "Why should i force myself to go if i don't feel good anyway? and it's way later than i was told" and then when i let him know, he kind of gave me a hard time. it's like... really? what the fuck is up with people my age and never holding deadlines? it bothers me. i invite people over for dinner, and no matter what time i say, they think it's fine to just show up two hours late..... i'm sorry i just can't stay up that late, that's not my schedule.
it makes me wonder what friend really means, anyway. sure i had fun with these people, but were they really my friends? does it matter that i feel like my only real friends are my family, my boyfriend, and my dog?