i better be goddamn PMSing
i am sitting here listening to miles davis, who is the most recent jazz today in a long line of no-one-has-worse-luck-than-me instrumentals with a sax solo today. i am depressed. and lonely. i can't seem to look at all of the positive things in my life. i can't feel good. in london i could ignore it because, dude, i was in London, but now that i'm home, everything that was wrong with my life before is still waiting in my head. i feel alone and uninteresting and poor and goalless. i'm anxious about all of the decisions i have to make and sad that i'm not a kid anymore and nervous because i'm going back to work a restaurant which is apparently going out of business and starting something new. a lot of new things you can get excited about, like sky diving, because at least if you died people would be all "but she lived man" and worrying that you will screw up transcriptions and that your research boss won't like you and won't help you get into grad school isn't living. it's frickin' scary.
sigh.
where is:
-my life
-where is it.
sigh.
where is:
-my life
-where is it.