Fic: Between Guilt and Hate
Title: Between Guilt and Hate
Author: Agathons_Fan
Pairings: Sharon, Helo, Adama, Chief - mentioning of Racetrack, Guards
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: Around Crossroads.
Beta: The lovely and talented
infiticus
Disclaimer: I own no characters.
Word Count: 2030
Helo held Sharon as they lay in bed, trying to comfort her. The problem was, he wasn’t sure why she needed comforting. She was clearly upset when she came home from being on CAP and she refused to tell him what was wrong. Now Helo was more concerned then ever.
“Sharon what's wrong,” Helo kept his voice low so he wouldn’t wake Hera.
“Nothing Helo, nothing’s wrong.”
“Sharon… please just tell me. Whatever it is, we can deal with it.”
Sharon hesitated, unsure if she should tell him, unsure how to tell him. She sighed before giving in to Helo’s pleas. “Helo…I saw one of the marines from the Pegasus today.” The memories of her attackers flashed in her mind as she spoke the words.
“What?” Helo replied, nearly waking Hera, as he rose to a sitting position on the bed.
The Pegasus. The same memories that invaded Sharon’s mind now burned in Helo’s. He remembered the attack on Sharon and the attack on that bastard Thorne. But most importantly he remembered that he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there when Sharon needed him the most and now he wasn’t there again today.
“Helo its okay. Nothing happen-”
“What was his name?” Helo interrupted as he rose to his feet and began pacing. “What did he say to you? What did he do to you? Did he hurt you? Are you ok? Was Hera with you?”
Sharon sighed again. She knew he would react like this. This is why she didn’t tell him, she didn’t want to worry him. He had enough to worry about.
“Helo, I'm fine. Hera’s fine, okay? She wasn’t even there. Nothing happened, I just saw him working and I remembered him from that day. He just stared at me.”
“He was staring at you. That son of a - ”
“Watch your voice.” Sharon interrupted, turning her head towards Hera.
Helo was bursting with anger. Sharon simply sat there and buried her face in her hands as she began to shake her head. She didn’t want this.
“Gods Sharon! Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”
“Because I knew this is how you would react. Please just calm down and come back to bed.”
Helo took a deep breath and realized that taking his anger and frustration out on Sharon wasn’t helping comfort her. He went back and sat own next to her on their bed.
Sharon embraced him, talking softly while resting her head on his chest. “ Helo, listen to me. I know that I should have told you about this sooner, but I also knew that you would over react. Nothing happened today and if I see him again, I promise I will tell you right away, okay?”
“Okay.” Helo replied as he kissed the top of her head. “I just don't understand how the Admiral could put them on duty with you and not at least give us a heads up.”
“I don't know. Maybe he forgot or maybe he didn’t realize it. He’s had a lot on his mind lately with Baltar’s trial and everything that been going on.” Everything referring to the loss of Starbuck. It was a sore subject for Helo and Sharon knew that, so she tried not to bring it up if she didn’t have to. She had figured that was part of why he was acting the way he was acting. He had just lost his best friend and he was a little lost himself.
“Yeah, maybe. I think I’m gonna talk to him in the morning about it. Get some answers at least, maybe it was just a mistake and he’ll change the roster.”
“No, Helo. It’s okay, really. I mean, I was a bit freaked out about it, but I don't want to cause any trouble. I don't want to make a bigger deal out of this than it has to be.”
“Sharon.”
“Karl, please.”
Helo knew from the tone of her voice and the fact that she never used his first name, unless she was upset with him, that she was serious. So, he would drop it, for now. “Ok,” Helo said, nodding his head. “Ok. Come on, let’s get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”
“Ok.” Sharon agreed as they wrapped themselves up in covers.
Shortly after Sharon was asleep in Helo’s arms. Helo, however, could not close his eyes. He was haunted by the memories of that day and guilt overwhelmed him. He didn’t believe he was over-reacting, not after everything that’s happened. He began to feel the strain behind his eyes as he watched Sharon sleep and thought about everything that Sharon had told him. ‘He just stared at me.' Helo thought about how the marine was looking at her, probably with the same look in his eyes during the interrogation. 'Bastard' was Helo's last thought before exhaustion over took and he feel asleep, haunted by nightmares of the past.
***
The next morning after dropping Hera off at daycare and walking Sharon to CAP, Helo decided to go see the admiral anyway. He had made the request while Sharon was getting Hera ready so she didn’t know.
Helo saluted, than thanked him for meeting on such short notice.
"I always have time for my Captains. So, tell me Helo, what’s on your mind."
"Permission to speak freely sir?"
"Of course, go ahead."
"Well sir, I know that you have a lot on your mind with everything that’s happened,” stealing Sharon’s words, Helo knew better then to mention Starbuck here and now, “And with Doctor Baltar’s trial, but I have to ask you if you were aware that the marines from the Pegasus, the ones that were involved from the attack, they are on the same shift as Sharon. She’s seen them."
Adama took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, one of his old habits. "Yes, I am aware that they are working on the Galactica. With the trial we need all the extra security that we can get, but no, I wasn’t aware that they had the same shifts. Have they said or done anything inappropriate to Lt. Agathon?"
"No sir. Not that I'm aware of. Sharon says that one of them just kept staring at her."
"I see." Adama paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. "What happened that day was wrong. There is no question about that. I hate that it happened and even more I hate that it happened under my watch. I wish there was something that I could’ve done. But we cant change the past. Given the situation, I should’ve made you and Lt. Agathon aware ahead of time that they were being transferred back to the Galactica and for that I apologize. But there is nothing I can do about the fact that they are here and you might run into them. They know the rules of my ship and I expect that they will follow them."
"I understand that sir, but do you think you could at least change their shifts?"
"I already have people pulling doubles. There is no way that would be possible. We are just going to have to keep an eye on them. Now, if that’s all Captain?"
Helo wanted to say something, to push this further, but decided it was best not to. So once again he gave the proper salute and exited Adama’s quarters.
***
Helo decided to follow Adama’s orders and keep an eye on them. He was headed to go see Sharon on the Hanger Deck and hoped he’d run in to one of those frakking marines. It’s wasn’t like there was an emergency in the CIC that needed his immediate attention and Dogsville was taken care of for the morning.
Once there he saw the Chief, Cally, and Sharon who was talking to Racetrack. As soon as Sharon saw Helo standing there, a smile warmed on her face. Racetrack had noticed him to and gave Sharon a ‘we’ll finish this later’ pat on the arm and went to inspect the Raptor. Sharon met up with Helo and asked him what he was doing there, pretending she didn’t already know. “Not that this isn’t a nice surprise, but I get the feeling your not here just to see me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Helo said, as he let a small grin escape his lips.
“Helo, I love you, but you’re a terrible liar.”
“Ok,” Helo said, unable to hold in a small chuckle. “I just… I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”
“Helo, I'm fine. I don't need you checking up on me, ok?”
“Helo nodded, “Yea, I know, but sometimes I need to check on you.”
Sharon had said something in response, but Helo was too focused on the marine sitting at the other end of the deck to hear her. Helo remembered him; he was the one that held her hands down. He was the one that got his face broken by Helo’s fist. Helo so badly wanted to break it again, that he could feel his fists began to ball up. He watched the marine stare at Sharon, not knowing that he was being watched himself. Then Helo felt something grip his arm.
Sharon had noticed Helo become tense and wanted to stop this before it began. “Helo. Don't.”
‘Captain Agathon, please report to the CIC immediately. Captain Agathon you are needed in CIC.’
Sharon felt relieved that Helo was being called away. But Helo wasn’t moving, it seemed as if he didn’t even hear the announcement. He wasn’t going to leave Sharon down here, not with him.
Helo looked around and noticed the Chief was staring at him. He gave Helo a small nod and looked over at the marine, who now noticed that he was being watched by the two men. The marine remembered Helo from the confrontation in the cell. He stiffened up, becoming nervous of what was going to happen, and began to walk away. Helo released Sharon’s grip and walked over to the marine.
“Helo, stop! Don't do this.” Sharon pleaded as Helo got further away from her.
Chief then turned to Sharon and gave her a reassuring glance as he began to catch up with Helo, who was now standing in front of the marine. When he caught up with them, they were just staring at each other. For a moment he joined them, then attempted to grab Helo’s arm to take him away. But Helo quickly pulled away and began to speak.
“Don't ever touch her. If I find out that, you so much as look at her again, I will find you and I will gladly kill you with my bare hands. Do you understand me?”
The marine stood still and silent for a moment, thinking of how to respond. Both Helo and Chief watched him closely as he stood there, unsure of how the marine would react. Suddenly, the man spoke. “Yes, sir. You don't have to worry about me sir.” He said, nodding his head. He then walked off and got back to his patrols.
Helo watched as he walked away. Once he was out of sight the two men walked back to where they had been before. The Chief went back to his work and Helo walked over to Sharon who had been watching them from afar. He hoped she wouldn’t be too upset, but this was something he had to do. As he approached, Sharon gave no reaction to Helo’s action, she simply embraced him. They held each other for a brief moment before there was another announcement. Helo cupped Sharon’s cheek in his hand, kissed her lightly and said, “I love you. I have to go, but I’ll see you later ok?”
“I love you too Helo.” Was all Sharon said before Helo left to report to his duties in CIC. While walking away, Helo felt relieved in the knowledge that Sharon would be safer, at least for now. That at least that marine would be keeping his distance. And knowing that even when he couldn't be there, Chief had his back.