Two weeks to go....
The second to last Saturday befor Xmas. I was determined not to get stressed out, that I would maintain a positive attitude or die in the attempt. This was put to the test almost as soon as I arrived, by a guy who wanted to asked "are the books in any kind of order?" I always have the urge to say "no, we just put them wherever", but instead I just smiled and fetched the book for him. The next guy spilt his drink on the carpet. And I merrily though, "well, at least it's green, so it doesn't show!" And so it went. I cheerily found books for people. I chipperly picked up the books that that kid strewed all over the floor. I happily answered that same damn question about The Da Vinci code (no, it is not in paperback). I did all this.
I'm telling you, it nearly killed me.
I managed to stay Mary Sunshine for five hours, possibly a record. Until Mr. McC came in. The McC's are notorious for being pains in the ass. He wanted Truman Capote. I pleasantly told him we had no Truman Capote. He wanted to know what kind of bookstore didn't have Truman Capote. I nicely (ok, perhaps a hint of sarcasm) told him a bookstore with no control over its ordering. Well, where would Mr. Capote be? I pause, because he's one of those authors who's all over the place, and then I ask Wiggum, a fellow employee, if he knows, at which point Mr. McC says, "I hate young people. They never know anything". Excuse me, asshole? What the fuck do you mean, I know nothing? I have probably forgotten more about books than you will ever know, so you can just bite my underpaid ass, you pompous dick. He then proceeded to piss and moan about how there used to be real bookstores, with decent books and knowledgable staff and he had to walk twelve miles barefoot through the snow blah blah blah.
Suffice it to say, that was the end of Mary Sunshine.
And really, I was glad. Being snarky and sarcastic is so much more fun. I mean, if you can't ridicule someone looking for 'Mauve Binky', than what's the point?
Have you ever looked at Baby Einstein? If you can find it, check out Windows to Color. It's a book of colours (duh), which seems harmless enough, until you get to red. Each colour has a couple of words describing it, and a painting featuring that colour. Red has the words "Hot Rich Exciting" and next to it, is this:
All I'm saying is, this seems a tad much for a children's book.
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And you thought the US election was bad