Community Beltane weekend
Even as I sit down to write, my kitty's unending waves of love reminds me that he is still recovering from the disruption of a weekend without both the helpmate and myself. His wild air kneading, mews, toe-biting and head-butting isn't half as funny as being led to the kitchen over and over again so that he can keep an eye on me while he eats.
John and I headed out into the woods for a community celebration hosted by Four Winds Fellowship for Beltane, politely held after the fact for those who had other group or solitary conflicts during the Sabbat weekend. This year was delightful for many different reasons - the rainy days before the event calmed and cleared to gentle warmth and cool breezes, clear sky provided the most enchanting backdrop for the luminous full moon, John was actually coming to a weekend event with me, the "camping" involved dormitory style cabins (rather than tents which still make me a little nervous )and the state park we went to had thrilled us previous years by it's lively, eagerly interactive energy. The "natives" were especially friendly once they realized we were in fact addressing them and listening for replies.
For the past 6 years, FWF has gathered the Crones and Elders of the community up to choose a May Queen - someone young, vibrant, childless and preferably unmarried, in an established relationship, but over 18- to represent a maiden Goddess no earth. Celebrated and decorated, this young maid, waited on by the younger children hosted games for all able-bodied (recently opened for men and women) to compete for her favor. After choosing her favorite, he was crowned King and Consort reining over feasts, joining in the Maypole dance and ritual before being whisked off to perform the sacred marriage, the Great Rite, to bless the entire community with prosperity, growth and renewed life.
This year - I was given this honor.
I feel particularly touched because in my life - I'm there. It feels like I'm finally unfolding to myself and so many things are appearing faster than I can give voice to it. I also got to meet quite a few folks, share my friends and tribe with other portions of the community and step into a living tradition. I attended a tea party celebrating a 14 year-old's first moon and her, after 10 years in the community, being welcomed into the women's circle. I saw the admiration and joy of the younger girls for the May Queen, even a 2 year old darting across the ritual circle and into my arms with a gleeful cry of "May Queen!" A lady I highly respect, the HPS of FWF summed it up beautifully - "This is like Miss America for these girls." They have grown up with this, admired and dreamed of the day when they too could be the May Queen. It was amazing to hear a 20 year old honestly tell her mom, "I'm just not mature enough for it yet." There was something bigger than any one of us at work - special and yet made sacred by the work of each individual.
To feed life into it on my part, I shared myself freely with my new and old friends, singing, dancing, playing, giving gifts and hugs, telling stories, cracking jokes. Again and again I am reminded that everyone prospers when I allow myself to shine without shame. A women's group I'm a part of named Hestia's Heath did opening ritual and my mother coven held main ritual.
I did not need the attention, but the Pride in their eyes as they took their place deserved allowing the boys and girls and May Queens past to ring themselves under and around the gazebo of my "throne" strewn with flowers. The two suitors who carried me to this throne also shone with the same look. The kids and mothers I have come to know had decorated it with their own beloved item themselves and continued to gift me with things of beauty and power they encountered all day. "Would it please the May Queen if we blew bubbles?" one small girl asked, eager to do her part. Yes, it pleases us greatly - let's all blow and pop bubbles! Though I had two self-appointed body guards (2 boys of 8 and 10 and the same delightful 2 year old) my "head" handmaiden took up a (foam) sword and demanded that any suitors do battle with her first to prove their worth. She won many bouts, bathed in sweat and sunlight, fierce and glorious. I will make every effort to be there the year she is crowned! (My favorite line from the weekend - "May I take a break from killing this one to check out what the next game is, May Queen?" She had also taken it upon herself to find what the strength and weakness of each contender was and made wise recommendations based on what she decided. For example - he is very strong but only with a weapon. I recommend he always have one in hand at all times! If he did, you might want to consider him.) Luckily, my pre-established consort was a favorite with all my ladies, especially after he confessed his love and kissed then hand that already bore his ring.
I remembered the old, feeling the weight of the footfalls that fell before mine. I shared joy and mutual respect to the new. Not surprisingly, I'm the first black May Queen and more than ever before were there other brown-skinned faces in ritual looking back at me. We are growing to be quite a diverse bunch, ethnically and belief- wise. A new handmaiden not more than 10, cinnamon and copper skinned, greeted me with a curtsey and a salute, raising a (foam) axe skyward. I curtsey back, to her, the other children, the mothers, crones, elders, warriors, my fiance, friends, community, beloved dead and Gods both accepting and giving honor in return.
It was playful and deep, tiring, sexy, sensual, exuberant, victorious, festive and fun (also with great drumming and singing from a few members of Elvendrums) Today I still craved sunlight and the outdoors, breathing deeply and stretching myself full in the open air, back home. The transfer from "that space" to "regular space" hasn't been jarring this time because I'm not sure I really left either. Back at work today I realized that I was my fabulous self the whole time and it was effortless - or effort already decided upon by months of work and use, a muscle growing strong.
I had expected to be moved by the weekend along with sprinkling seeds of possibility and nurturing relationships. What I hadn't counted on was seeing what I looked like in bloom.
John and I headed out into the woods for a community celebration hosted by Four Winds Fellowship for Beltane, politely held after the fact for those who had other group or solitary conflicts during the Sabbat weekend. This year was delightful for many different reasons - the rainy days before the event calmed and cleared to gentle warmth and cool breezes, clear sky provided the most enchanting backdrop for the luminous full moon, John was actually coming to a weekend event with me, the "camping" involved dormitory style cabins (rather than tents which still make me a little nervous )and the state park we went to had thrilled us previous years by it's lively, eagerly interactive energy. The "natives" were especially friendly once they realized we were in fact addressing them and listening for replies.
For the past 6 years, FWF has gathered the Crones and Elders of the community up to choose a May Queen - someone young, vibrant, childless and preferably unmarried, in an established relationship, but over 18- to represent a maiden Goddess no earth. Celebrated and decorated, this young maid, waited on by the younger children hosted games for all able-bodied (recently opened for men and women) to compete for her favor. After choosing her favorite, he was crowned King and Consort reining over feasts, joining in the Maypole dance and ritual before being whisked off to perform the sacred marriage, the Great Rite, to bless the entire community with prosperity, growth and renewed life.
This year - I was given this honor.
I feel particularly touched because in my life - I'm there. It feels like I'm finally unfolding to myself and so many things are appearing faster than I can give voice to it. I also got to meet quite a few folks, share my friends and tribe with other portions of the community and step into a living tradition. I attended a tea party celebrating a 14 year-old's first moon and her, after 10 years in the community, being welcomed into the women's circle. I saw the admiration and joy of the younger girls for the May Queen, even a 2 year old darting across the ritual circle and into my arms with a gleeful cry of "May Queen!" A lady I highly respect, the HPS of FWF summed it up beautifully - "This is like Miss America for these girls." They have grown up with this, admired and dreamed of the day when they too could be the May Queen. It was amazing to hear a 20 year old honestly tell her mom, "I'm just not mature enough for it yet." There was something bigger than any one of us at work - special and yet made sacred by the work of each individual.
To feed life into it on my part, I shared myself freely with my new and old friends, singing, dancing, playing, giving gifts and hugs, telling stories, cracking jokes. Again and again I am reminded that everyone prospers when I allow myself to shine without shame. A women's group I'm a part of named Hestia's Heath did opening ritual and my mother coven held main ritual.
I did not need the attention, but the Pride in their eyes as they took their place deserved allowing the boys and girls and May Queens past to ring themselves under and around the gazebo of my "throne" strewn with flowers. The two suitors who carried me to this throne also shone with the same look. The kids and mothers I have come to know had decorated it with their own beloved item themselves and continued to gift me with things of beauty and power they encountered all day. "Would it please the May Queen if we blew bubbles?" one small girl asked, eager to do her part. Yes, it pleases us greatly - let's all blow and pop bubbles! Though I had two self-appointed body guards (2 boys of 8 and 10 and the same delightful 2 year old) my "head" handmaiden took up a (foam) sword and demanded that any suitors do battle with her first to prove their worth. She won many bouts, bathed in sweat and sunlight, fierce and glorious. I will make every effort to be there the year she is crowned! (My favorite line from the weekend - "May I take a break from killing this one to check out what the next game is, May Queen?" She had also taken it upon herself to find what the strength and weakness of each contender was and made wise recommendations based on what she decided. For example - he is very strong but only with a weapon. I recommend he always have one in hand at all times! If he did, you might want to consider him.) Luckily, my pre-established consort was a favorite with all my ladies, especially after he confessed his love and kissed then hand that already bore his ring.
I remembered the old, feeling the weight of the footfalls that fell before mine. I shared joy and mutual respect to the new. Not surprisingly, I'm the first black May Queen and more than ever before were there other brown-skinned faces in ritual looking back at me. We are growing to be quite a diverse bunch, ethnically and belief- wise. A new handmaiden not more than 10, cinnamon and copper skinned, greeted me with a curtsey and a salute, raising a (foam) axe skyward. I curtsey back, to her, the other children, the mothers, crones, elders, warriors, my fiance, friends, community, beloved dead and Gods both accepting and giving honor in return.
It was playful and deep, tiring, sexy, sensual, exuberant, victorious, festive and fun (also with great drumming and singing from a few members of Elvendrums) Today I still craved sunlight and the outdoors, breathing deeply and stretching myself full in the open air, back home. The transfer from "that space" to "regular space" hasn't been jarring this time because I'm not sure I really left either. Back at work today I realized that I was my fabulous self the whole time and it was effortless - or effort already decided upon by months of work and use, a muscle growing strong.
I had expected to be moved by the weekend along with sprinkling seeds of possibility and nurturing relationships. What I hadn't counted on was seeing what I looked like in bloom.