[ OnKey ] Sunbeams on Snow ( Part 1/3 )
Title: Sunbeams on Snow (1/3)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~4,500
Pairing: Onew x Key
Genre: Drama, romance
Warnings: Slight sexual themes
Summary: High School AU. Jinki and Kibum were the last two people the world expected to see together.
Notes: I’m already working on Part 2, and should have it up soon! :)
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Sunbeams on Snow
Part One
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Lee Jinki wasn’t anyone special. He was eighteen, in his last year of high school, and the only child of two loving parents with middle class incomes. He had friends, but not too many; just a handful that he was particularly close to. He made them laugh with his silly jokes and his clumsiness and his sun-bright smile, and while he wasn’t the most fashionable or attractive person in the world (indeed, his hair was currently in the state of an awkwardly overgrown bowl cut, and his fashion sense…well, there was really no fashion sense to speak of) but he gently radiated the kind of cheer that made people feel safe around him.
High school had deemed him a nerd-his high grades, chess championship trophy, and cheap metal-rimmed glasses told him so. And as such, he never really stood out much, or really made much of an impact on anyone. His social life was quite static, and his friends told him to get a girlfriend-or a boyfriend, as they’d later find Jinki’s preferences to be toward other men-and to stop being such a good boy. But Jinki never did find a boyfriend, because, he’d say, “It just doesn’t feel right.” And they would sigh and move on.
But really, Jinki was completely anonymous, and he was okay with that. He didn’t want to be a superstar who attracted a lot of attention with a reputation bigger than themselves. He didn’t want to be popular, or have false friends, or have tons of girlfriends and boyfriends whom he dated just because. He wanted everything around him to fall into place as they would. He really just wanted to be Jinki-awkwardness and clumsiness and virginity, all-and he wanted things to stay that way.
And they did, at least, until the day he crossed paths with one Kim Kibum.
---
“Everyone, pick a partner for your midterm project.”
Jinki felt his heart sink just a little bit, as embarrassment set in. World History was the one class that he didn’t have any friends in-not that he had friends at his disposal like that, but still-and this undoubtedly ensured awkwardness as everyone else looked around and got up, walking toward friends and potential partners. Jinki knew he was going to be one of the ones left over that would have to raise their hands when the teacher asked who didn’t have a partner yet, and he groaned inwardly at the thought. He fidgeted with his pencil and settled for looking awkwardly through his notes while everyone else scrambled for a partner, when he felt someone tap him on his shoulder. He quickly looked up.
“Hey, you don’t have a partner right? Well, I’m your partner now.”
Jinki blinked owlishly. Standing next to him and looking down upon him was Kim Kibum. Kim Kibum, who was probably one of the most well-known people on campus. Kim Kibum, whom everyone loved for his good looks and fashion sense and sharp tongue, who had more friends than Jinki had word puns (and Jinki had a lot of word puns).
“Did you hear me? I just saved you from being one of the last ones left over. You could do better than just staring like you’ve never seen a human being before.”
Jinki blinked again before snapping out of it. “Oh-yeah, hi. You’re Kim Kibum, right? I’m, um, you know. I’m Jinki. Lee Jinki. That’s me.” He stuttered just a little bit, because while he was talking, Kibum looked aside briefly and ran his pretty, thin fingers through his hair and it just looked-it looked rather lovely in a strange way that tied up Jinki’s tongue. “Wait, um… Don’t you have… Why are you… Not that I’m not happy about it, but you and I have never talked before and-”
“My friends decided to prank me by pairing up with themselves and leaving me partnerless. Needless to say, they’ll get theirs soon enough. But anyway, here’s the deal, Jinki. We’re going to meet up and start on this thing tomorrow, after school. Objections?”
“No, sir.” Jinki said, grinning foolishly, hoping Kibum would laugh. He didn’t. “Um-what topic do you want to research?” He added on, quickly.
“Whatever you want. I really don’t care.” Kibum shrugged. “Anyway, I’m heading back to my seat. See you tomorrow at three-forty five, after school.”
“Yeah-um, bye.” Jinki said weakly as he watched him head back to his table of friends. He was in a bit of a daze. What had just happened? He, in close contact with the most talked-about person on campus? Oh, Taemin would love to hear about this, he thought, before making a note in his notebook: Friday 3:45PM, meet Kim Kibum for WH Project.
---
It was 3:44PM and Jinki waited outside the doors of the main building, hoping to see Kibum. He wondered if the boy had forgotten about their rendezvous to work on their project together, but when he looked at his watch, which had just now changed to 3:45PM, he looked up to see Kibum coming toward him, surrounded by a group of male friends. Jinki felt somewhat awkward and looked down, shuffling his feet some.
Kibum’s loud voice got clearer and closer as he bid goodbye to his friends, before he sauntered over to Jinki. Jinki looked up as if he had just noticed him (though he really didn’t fool anyone) and smiled.
“Hey, Kibum,” he said. “You, um, ready to study? We can go to the cafeteria, if it’s still open.”
“No way,” Kibum replied, before walking past Jinki, clearly expecting him to follow. “It can get absolutely filthy in there. We’re going to this café nearby. I do homework in there sometimes. That is, when I do homework, anyway.”
Jinki laughed, nervously-for some reason the butterflies in his gut just wouldn’t quit their fluttering. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, huh? Sure, let’s go there… I’m sure you know more hangout places than I do!” He smiled, and Kibum didn’t reply, but checked his phone at length. He chuckled to himself and texted someone back while Jinki was left to awkwardly observe their surroundings.
There were times when Jinki felt like he could evaporate away and disappear; now was one of those times. The pure awkwardness of the situation was tangible and heavy and stuck during the whole walk there until they entered the café.
The place itself was actually rather nice and quaint; there were some students sitting at the tables, reading newspapers or typing away on their laptops, and looking pretty academic in general. He looked at Kibum, who got in line for coffee.
“You want anything? My treat,” Kibum said, his voice nonchalant, and Jinki thought briefly that he came off as really, well, cool. He flustered a bit.
“Uh, no thank you,” he said, “I’ll get us a table, though.”
By the time Kibum got back, with his caramel espresso latte (with nonfat milk and whipped cream and extra chocolate chip flakes on top), Jinki had already pulled out all of his books and notes. Kibum looked at him with a careful expression when he pushed his overgrown bangs out of his eyes and grinned.
“So, I started researching last night on the effect of climate on the Dark Ages of Europe and I found out something really interesting…” Jinki continued to speak, rambling on and on about climate and Europe and the Plague and all this time, Jinki realized, he hadn’t even tried to make eye contact with Kibum even once. Maybe it was because he didn’t have to. He could practically feel the other’s gaze on him.
“…so I think that would be interesting to put in our presentation,” Jinki said, and he let out a breath before raising his eyes to look at Kibum. Kibum evenly returned the gaze, though didn’t reply immediately. Jinki willed himself to keep eye contact but faltered soon enough and awkwardly looked down at his papers, but he couldn’t help but notice the way his body was humming with nervousness and his heart was following an unusual, erratic rhythm and why was it doing that? Kibum’s eyes were sharp and clear, his face honest…
“You know what, Jinki? I’ve decided. You have potential. I’m going to help you.”
Jinki blinked and looked up at him. He pushed the bangs out of his eyes again. “Help? Oh-that’s good. I mean, we are partners on this thing and all and-”
“Don’t be oblivious,” Kibum waved a hand. “That’s not what I mean, of course.” He downed the last of his coffee and stood up. Jinki blinked, completely confused. He looked at Kibum and pushed up his glasses as they began to slip down his nose. “Come on, pack up your things.”
“What, but… We just got here twenty minutes ago…” Jinki tried to argue but Kibum was already on his way out the door. He shoved his laptop in his bag and managed to salvage a few loose leaf notes but in the end he ignored the papers and hurried after the other boy before he could slip away too far.
There was something absolutely magnetic about Kibum, and Jinki was realizing that fast. Although he and Jinki had never talked before in their lives, there was something about him that made Jinki want to follow him to the ends of the earth. Maybe that’s why he’s so popular, Jinki thought. He kept his eyes on Kibum as he walked to catch up with him, and his head was spinning a little as he looked. Although he and Jinki were about the same height, Kibum was much thinner. His hair was immaculate, without a single black strand out of place, and his posture was meticulous as well, almost haughty. Indeed, Kibum was all angles and sharpness and his catlike eyes were tattooed in line with Jinki’s vision, and when Kibum turned around-“Hey, hurry up.”-Jinki felt his knees turning to jelly and the next thing he knew, he was tasting concrete.
“What the hell-are you alright? What just happened?” He felt thin fingers grasp around his arm as he got up, bouncing back into standing position as if nothing had happened. Jinki was pretty used to falling around all over the place, but the fact that he had done it in front of someone as elegant as Kibum made him embarrassed.
“Oh! Um! Yeah. This happens often. I mean, not that often-I mean, what kind of idiot trips over nothing, right? Ha!-but, um, I’m fine. It’s just… Um… Oh,” Jinki said, realizing that Kibum was smiling, and somehow that smile rendered words useless.
The smile turned to a small laugh as Kibum slowed his pace down as the two continued to walk. Jinki’s face felt hot. “You’re really weird, you know that?” Kibum told him. Jinki smiled.
“Maybe,” Jinki replied. “Where are you taking me? Are we studying somewhere else?”
“Forget about studying for a bit,” Kibum told him. “We’re going somewhere two blocks from here. It’s for your own good.” He replied. “You’ll be much improved once I’m done with you.”
“Huh?” Jinki asked.
“Your hair, I mean,” Kibum said. “What exactly is that, anyway?” He picked up a few strands of the black mess that coiled its way around Jinki’s head. “A bowl cut is cute when you’re, you know, five. And this one is overdue for a haircut by a few years.”
“Wait, you’re taking me to get a haircut?” Jinki blinked.
“Of course,” Kibum said. “Ah! Here we are.” He shoved Jinki into the salon before he could mutter words against it, and promptly went over to the hairdresser to make an impromptu appointment. Jinki tried to form words of disagreement but Kibum completely ignored him before he was dragged to the back of the place by a hairdresser and Jinki just thought it would be best to remain quiet and not make a scene in front of the obviously high class clientele, so he quieted, and let them do as they wished. Kibum joined him after his hair got a requisite wash, and made suggestions to the hairdresser as she clipped off his hair.
“Cut a bit more here, and leave more here,” Kibum would say, and “how about this nice auburn? I think it’s so much more fashionable than just a plain brown,” and honestly Jinki didn’t know what the hell he was going on about (both colors looked pretty much the same to him) but he just let it happen. And when finally the whole thing was done, he peered up over his glasses and looked at the mirror and he barely recognized himself.
“I knew you had potential,” Kibum said smugly. “Do you have contacts at home?”
“Um, yeah, but I don’t wear them.”
“If I see you in these pitiable glasses again I’m going to throw them. You should wear your contacts.”
“O-Okay. Look, Kibum-what is this-” He was distracted from his question when he saw the price tag that came along with these haircuts. That wasn’t even how much he made in two weeks at his job. How the hell was he supposed to pay for this?
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” Kibum told him, and pulled out some cash and paid for it with nonchalance, like he was purchasing gum at a convenience store. “You needed that. Really. I can actually look at you know. Who knew you actually had cute eyes somewhere under all that hair?”
Jinki blushed briefly, but still felt awkward about the fact that an almost-complete stranger had just paid for his ridiculously expensive haircut. He looked at Kibum, before briefly running his fingers through his considerably shorter, and lighter colored hair. He wondered how people would perceive him now…
“Kibum, I’ll pay you back for this,” Jinki told him resolutely.
“Don’t worry about it,” Kibum told him. They left the salon together. “You must have heard all about the rumors about me. My mother is wealthy. So, I am wealthy. She lets me have whatever I want, and right now I want you to look halfway presentable, so I did it mostly for me, and not for you.”
Somehow, that made Jinki laugh. He didn’t miss how Kibum’s lips twitched upward in a smile. The atmosphere somehow warmed up between the two of them, and Jinki felt his heart thump in rhythm with their steps as they walked together through the city.
The rest of their time with one another that day was a reverie. They had stopped for ice cream not long after the haircut, and Kibum had ordered a giant sundae but insisted that he couldn’t eat the whole thing, so they ended up sharing it instead (for some reason, Jinki felt his heart electrify at the idea). Kibum laughed when Jinki had some strawberry on the side of his mouth, and wiped it off for him with a napkin. He only smiled when Jinki blushed.
After this, because Kibum decided that he absolutely needed to go shopping, the two of them went to the mall together, and Jinki followed Kibum around with utmost patience as they went from store to store. Kibum rewarded him for this by linking their arms together as they headed out (with Jinki carrying his bags, of course-but he could hardly feel the weight when he realized that Kibum was so close). They walked together down the streets as the sun melted away into dusk, and Jinki felt that, for once, everything was right in the world.
“This is where I’m leaving you, Jinki.” Kibum said, as they stopped in front of a rather large (and posh-looking) condominium right in the middle of the city. Jinki realized that this must be where he lived-it was suitable, seeing as how fancy the place looked. Kibum took his bags and walked toward two lovely gold-plated doors. They opened automatically for him. “I’ll see you around.” He smiled-that sweet, small, lovely smile-and Jinki’s heart softened.
“Goodbye,” Jinki told him, as he walked away. He sighed-though with an inexplicable smile on his face and hum in his body-and turned around and started to walk back to his own home. It was only a few steps later that he received a text message from Kibum.
Saturday at 12PM, @ the café.
Jinki grinned.
---
The next week was a complete blur. School was just something that happened and after it happened he and Kibum would make their rendezvous off campus and meet somewhere where it could be just them. It was all under the pretense of ‘the project’ but ‘the project’ wasn’t even close to done and Jinki didn’t even care anymore. All that he cared about was Kibum. All he wanted was to be with him, talk with him, laugh with him, watch the sun rays bounce off his highlighted cheekbones when he smiled…
On Monday, Kibum would say, “I want to watch a movie,” and Jinki would quickly usher him to a movie theater, and they’d buy tickets for the horror film that just came out. Kibum would outright admit that he’d get scared and Jinki would put on a brave face but in the end, both of them ended up clutching to each other and screaming when the bloody man with an axe popped out from behind a rock.
“Would you like to go ride bikes in the park?” Jinki would ask, and he’d get completely mock-offended when Kibum told him that he didn’t know how to ride a bicycle. “Well, today’s the day you’ll learn,” he’d tell him, and they’d spend Wednesday afternoon in the park, Jinki teaching Kibum how to not fall on his ass while on a bike. For someone who was so naturally good at things, Kibum had an awful time trying to find his balance on a bike, and Jinki was there to steady him, standing behind him so closely that when the wind blew, his cheek would be tickled by Kibum’s soft, shiny hair and when he breathed, he could smell the vanilla and musk that made up Kibum’s scent. In the end though, they gave up and decided to eat ice cream cones together and sit on the park bench and talk until the sun went down and the stars peeked through.
“Let’s go to the amusement park,” Kibum would tell him on Thursday afternoon, and Jinki would walk with him there and they’d ride on the roller coaster (and Jinki would requisitely throw up afterwards) and then they’d buy cotton candy and play games together (Jinki wanted to be cool and win Kibum a giant teddy bear, but in the end he failed and Kibum won it for himself instead) and at the end of it all they took a compulsory ride on the Ferris wheel. The sun wasn’t setting yet but when they reached the top, Jinki felt his face get hot and he looked half-expectantly at Kibum, who was sitting next to him. Kibum studied him for a bit, and then chuckled a little and reached over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Jinki fell off the chair in surprise and embarrassment before his lips could ever touch his skin, and Kibum only laughed.
“You can try that again sometime, you know,” Jinki informed him as they got off the Ferris wheel. Kibum only rolled his eyes and shoved him lightly as he brushed past, but Jinki saw the smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes as he walked ahead.
It was so natural, it was like breathing. There was awkwardness anymore between them, no barriers. He was just Jinki, and Kibum accepted him as such: clumsiness and too-wide grin and bad jokes and everything else in-between. And Kibum was too noisy sometimes, and other times he was too bossy and demanding and he was more than just a little spoiled, but Jinki could see past his flamboyant exterior and he knew that deep inside under all that glitter and pretense, there was a caring, protective person.
Kibum was consuming him. There was never a moment when he didn’t think about him. His grades dropped a little, and he tripped over nothing a little bit more, and he couldn’t concentrate on anything else but he didn’t care because he wondered about that tight, buzzing feeling in his chest, and he didn’t want to use the word love just yet but Jinki knew it was something close.
He had to tell him.
---
“Jinki hyung! Wow-hyung, is that really you?”
Jinki turned around to see one of his closest friends, Lee Taemin, approach him with an astonished look on his face. Their good friend Choi Minho was close behind. Jinki smiled a bit smugly and beckoned the two sophomores toward the table where he was sitting. It was lunchtime in the cafeteria on a Friday, and his mother had been nice today and packed him lunch, which he appreciated.
“Hyung, your hair looks really good,” Minho complimented him. “I didn’t know you wore contacts either.”
“Yes,” Jinki told him as he straightened his shoulders a little bit, pleased. He loved his friends, but forgot that they hadn’t seen him since a week ago when he had gotten his hair cut (needless to say, other people had been consuming his time). He looked at something at the corner of his eye before turning back to Taemin and Minho, who were sitting down across from him. “Looks nice, huh? I should have gotten a haircut and dye job a long time ago.”
“What happened, hyung? Is this what happens when Minho and I don’t see you at all for a week? We all know you’re not exactly the, um, fashion-conscious type.” Taemin said, grinning cheekily.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jinki snapped good-naturedly. “I can look good too, you know. I got this haircut last Friday.” He looked at that same point to the left of him once more, before turning his attention back to his friends. This time, his (not so subtle) efforts didn’t go unnoticed.
“What are you looking at?” Taemin turned his head to see a table full of attractive young men-the so-called popular crowd-with one Kim Kibum sitting right in the middle, telling some sort of story that had everyone absolutely in stitches. Another junior by the name of Kim Jonghyun was sitting right next to Kibum, and slung an arm around his shoulder as the pair laughed. Taemin turned to see Jinki blatantly watching the scene unfold, hoping, praying that Kibum would catch his eye.
“Oh, hyung, how was working on that World History project with Kim Kibum? That must have been awkward. He’s so…weird.”
Jinki’s attention snapped back to Taemin at the mention of Kibum’s name. “Huh?” He said, before looking at his food. He poked at his rice with his chopsticks. “He’s not weird,” he said, not realizing he was smiling. Happiness, thick like honey, spread throughout his body at the very thought. “He’s…he’s really great, actually. Kibum. At first it was kind of awkward, but then we started talking, and well-it wasn’t really that we started talking, he dragged me to a hair salon and fixed my hair and demanded I wear contacts-and then we walked around the city together and shared ice cream together and we went shopping and he spent so long deciding between two shirts; it was so cute…”
Jinki didn’t realize he was rambling until Minho cleared his throat. Jinki stopped speaking and looked at the two of them. Minho was quietly eating again and Taemin just looked at him with those typical doe eyes, looking utterly confused.
“Maybe you’ll understand one day, Taemin-ah,” Jinki told him, dreamily. Taemin frowned a little.
“Hyung, you’re not doing anything stupid, are you?” He asked. Jinki blinked.
“No, of course not. Why is befriending Kibum stupid? He comes on strong at first, I know, but… But, I can tell,” Jinki smiled. “He’s really a very loving person. I’m glad we’re friends. We’re…just friends.”
“Which is why you’re staring longingly in his direction hoping he’ll acknowledge you, I suppose?” Minho told him, and Taemin snickered.
Jinki simply blushed. He didn’t try to defend himself, and quieted for a few moments. “It’s quite simple, though,” he looked at the other boys solemnly. “I’ve never felt that way around someone before.”
Minho looked down at his food, unsure of what to say, but Taemin watched him earnestly. “But you must have heard about him, hyung. He might not be the kind of person you want to get involved with like that.”
“What do you mean?” Jinki frowned, puzzled. “I thought he enjoyed himself too…”
“No, I mean…” Taemin leaned forward, and Jinki mirrored him. “He kind of gets around.”
Jinki blinked. “I don’t understand,” he said.
“You really haven’t heard? He’s had tons of girlfriends. And boyfriends. He’ll date practically anyone, that’s what I heard. I also heard that he hooks up. A lot.” Taemin added, gravely. “His mother is barely home, so he brings people back to his place, and you know. With them. Why do you think he’s so popular? I also heard that he and that blond boy, Kim Jonghyun, are, um, friends with benefits.” He whispered the last three words lowly as if it was some sort of evil curse.
“What’s a friend with benefits?” Jinki asked, his voice hollow.
“That means they’re friends who, you know, have sex.” Taemin said, seriously.
Jinki looked somewhat pale. “That’s not true, is it? Those are just rumors, right? Kibum isn’t that type of person. He wouldn’t play around like that.”
“I heard he’s just looking to hook up. And I think that may be true. A few weeks ago, I saw him kissing a boy by the lockers. And then only a few days later, I saw him kissing someone else by the gym.” Taemin told him gravely. “So… You should be careful, hyung. Just because it’s special to you doesn’t mean that he sees you any differently than all the other boys he’s gone there with.”
All the other boys he’s gone there with, Jinki thought, and the words echoed in his head like a drum beating from a distance. All the other boys.
Jinki looked blankly at Taemin, and even Minho had stopped eating to look.
“Hyung?” Minho asked, but Jinki barely heard him. His eyes were only ever on Kibum, watching him sit at that lunch table with that Jonghyun boy’s arm slipping off his perfect shoulder.
“I don’t believe it,” Jinki finally said, looking resolute. “I don’t believe it. Kibum can’t be like that. He can’t. He’s not that type of person.” He was repeating it to further drive it into his own heart. “He’s… He’s too sincere a person. I can’t believe it,” Jinki said one final time, and he got up suddenly. “I’m… I’ve got some homework I need to finish,” he said quickly, before he walked out of the cafeteria altogether, leaving Kibum and his two friends behind.
---
Read Part Two here.
Cross-posted to shinee_replay and onkey
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~4,500
Pairing: Onew x Key
Genre: Drama, romance
Warnings: Slight sexual themes
Summary: High School AU. Jinki and Kibum were the last two people the world expected to see together.
Notes: I’m already working on Part 2, and should have it up soon! :)
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Sunbeams on Snow
Part One
---
Lee Jinki wasn’t anyone special. He was eighteen, in his last year of high school, and the only child of two loving parents with middle class incomes. He had friends, but not too many; just a handful that he was particularly close to. He made them laugh with his silly jokes and his clumsiness and his sun-bright smile, and while he wasn’t the most fashionable or attractive person in the world (indeed, his hair was currently in the state of an awkwardly overgrown bowl cut, and his fashion sense…well, there was really no fashion sense to speak of) but he gently radiated the kind of cheer that made people feel safe around him.
High school had deemed him a nerd-his high grades, chess championship trophy, and cheap metal-rimmed glasses told him so. And as such, he never really stood out much, or really made much of an impact on anyone. His social life was quite static, and his friends told him to get a girlfriend-or a boyfriend, as they’d later find Jinki’s preferences to be toward other men-and to stop being such a good boy. But Jinki never did find a boyfriend, because, he’d say, “It just doesn’t feel right.” And they would sigh and move on.
But really, Jinki was completely anonymous, and he was okay with that. He didn’t want to be a superstar who attracted a lot of attention with a reputation bigger than themselves. He didn’t want to be popular, or have false friends, or have tons of girlfriends and boyfriends whom he dated just because. He wanted everything around him to fall into place as they would. He really just wanted to be Jinki-awkwardness and clumsiness and virginity, all-and he wanted things to stay that way.
And they did, at least, until the day he crossed paths with one Kim Kibum.
---
“Everyone, pick a partner for your midterm project.”
Jinki felt his heart sink just a little bit, as embarrassment set in. World History was the one class that he didn’t have any friends in-not that he had friends at his disposal like that, but still-and this undoubtedly ensured awkwardness as everyone else looked around and got up, walking toward friends and potential partners. Jinki knew he was going to be one of the ones left over that would have to raise their hands when the teacher asked who didn’t have a partner yet, and he groaned inwardly at the thought. He fidgeted with his pencil and settled for looking awkwardly through his notes while everyone else scrambled for a partner, when he felt someone tap him on his shoulder. He quickly looked up.
“Hey, you don’t have a partner right? Well, I’m your partner now.”
Jinki blinked owlishly. Standing next to him and looking down upon him was Kim Kibum. Kim Kibum, who was probably one of the most well-known people on campus. Kim Kibum, whom everyone loved for his good looks and fashion sense and sharp tongue, who had more friends than Jinki had word puns (and Jinki had a lot of word puns).
“Did you hear me? I just saved you from being one of the last ones left over. You could do better than just staring like you’ve never seen a human being before.”
Jinki blinked again before snapping out of it. “Oh-yeah, hi. You’re Kim Kibum, right? I’m, um, you know. I’m Jinki. Lee Jinki. That’s me.” He stuttered just a little bit, because while he was talking, Kibum looked aside briefly and ran his pretty, thin fingers through his hair and it just looked-it looked rather lovely in a strange way that tied up Jinki’s tongue. “Wait, um… Don’t you have… Why are you… Not that I’m not happy about it, but you and I have never talked before and-”
“My friends decided to prank me by pairing up with themselves and leaving me partnerless. Needless to say, they’ll get theirs soon enough. But anyway, here’s the deal, Jinki. We’re going to meet up and start on this thing tomorrow, after school. Objections?”
“No, sir.” Jinki said, grinning foolishly, hoping Kibum would laugh. He didn’t. “Um-what topic do you want to research?” He added on, quickly.
“Whatever you want. I really don’t care.” Kibum shrugged. “Anyway, I’m heading back to my seat. See you tomorrow at three-forty five, after school.”
“Yeah-um, bye.” Jinki said weakly as he watched him head back to his table of friends. He was in a bit of a daze. What had just happened? He, in close contact with the most talked-about person on campus? Oh, Taemin would love to hear about this, he thought, before making a note in his notebook: Friday 3:45PM, meet Kim Kibum for WH Project.
---
It was 3:44PM and Jinki waited outside the doors of the main building, hoping to see Kibum. He wondered if the boy had forgotten about their rendezvous to work on their project together, but when he looked at his watch, which had just now changed to 3:45PM, he looked up to see Kibum coming toward him, surrounded by a group of male friends. Jinki felt somewhat awkward and looked down, shuffling his feet some.
Kibum’s loud voice got clearer and closer as he bid goodbye to his friends, before he sauntered over to Jinki. Jinki looked up as if he had just noticed him (though he really didn’t fool anyone) and smiled.
“Hey, Kibum,” he said. “You, um, ready to study? We can go to the cafeteria, if it’s still open.”
“No way,” Kibum replied, before walking past Jinki, clearly expecting him to follow. “It can get absolutely filthy in there. We’re going to this café nearby. I do homework in there sometimes. That is, when I do homework, anyway.”
Jinki laughed, nervously-for some reason the butterflies in his gut just wouldn’t quit their fluttering. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, huh? Sure, let’s go there… I’m sure you know more hangout places than I do!” He smiled, and Kibum didn’t reply, but checked his phone at length. He chuckled to himself and texted someone back while Jinki was left to awkwardly observe their surroundings.
There were times when Jinki felt like he could evaporate away and disappear; now was one of those times. The pure awkwardness of the situation was tangible and heavy and stuck during the whole walk there until they entered the café.
The place itself was actually rather nice and quaint; there were some students sitting at the tables, reading newspapers or typing away on their laptops, and looking pretty academic in general. He looked at Kibum, who got in line for coffee.
“You want anything? My treat,” Kibum said, his voice nonchalant, and Jinki thought briefly that he came off as really, well, cool. He flustered a bit.
“Uh, no thank you,” he said, “I’ll get us a table, though.”
By the time Kibum got back, with his caramel espresso latte (with nonfat milk and whipped cream and extra chocolate chip flakes on top), Jinki had already pulled out all of his books and notes. Kibum looked at him with a careful expression when he pushed his overgrown bangs out of his eyes and grinned.
“So, I started researching last night on the effect of climate on the Dark Ages of Europe and I found out something really interesting…” Jinki continued to speak, rambling on and on about climate and Europe and the Plague and all this time, Jinki realized, he hadn’t even tried to make eye contact with Kibum even once. Maybe it was because he didn’t have to. He could practically feel the other’s gaze on him.
“…so I think that would be interesting to put in our presentation,” Jinki said, and he let out a breath before raising his eyes to look at Kibum. Kibum evenly returned the gaze, though didn’t reply immediately. Jinki willed himself to keep eye contact but faltered soon enough and awkwardly looked down at his papers, but he couldn’t help but notice the way his body was humming with nervousness and his heart was following an unusual, erratic rhythm and why was it doing that? Kibum’s eyes were sharp and clear, his face honest…
“You know what, Jinki? I’ve decided. You have potential. I’m going to help you.”
Jinki blinked and looked up at him. He pushed the bangs out of his eyes again. “Help? Oh-that’s good. I mean, we are partners on this thing and all and-”
“Don’t be oblivious,” Kibum waved a hand. “That’s not what I mean, of course.” He downed the last of his coffee and stood up. Jinki blinked, completely confused. He looked at Kibum and pushed up his glasses as they began to slip down his nose. “Come on, pack up your things.”
“What, but… We just got here twenty minutes ago…” Jinki tried to argue but Kibum was already on his way out the door. He shoved his laptop in his bag and managed to salvage a few loose leaf notes but in the end he ignored the papers and hurried after the other boy before he could slip away too far.
There was something absolutely magnetic about Kibum, and Jinki was realizing that fast. Although he and Jinki had never talked before in their lives, there was something about him that made Jinki want to follow him to the ends of the earth. Maybe that’s why he’s so popular, Jinki thought. He kept his eyes on Kibum as he walked to catch up with him, and his head was spinning a little as he looked. Although he and Jinki were about the same height, Kibum was much thinner. His hair was immaculate, without a single black strand out of place, and his posture was meticulous as well, almost haughty. Indeed, Kibum was all angles and sharpness and his catlike eyes were tattooed in line with Jinki’s vision, and when Kibum turned around-“Hey, hurry up.”-Jinki felt his knees turning to jelly and the next thing he knew, he was tasting concrete.
“What the hell-are you alright? What just happened?” He felt thin fingers grasp around his arm as he got up, bouncing back into standing position as if nothing had happened. Jinki was pretty used to falling around all over the place, but the fact that he had done it in front of someone as elegant as Kibum made him embarrassed.
“Oh! Um! Yeah. This happens often. I mean, not that often-I mean, what kind of idiot trips over nothing, right? Ha!-but, um, I’m fine. It’s just… Um… Oh,” Jinki said, realizing that Kibum was smiling, and somehow that smile rendered words useless.
The smile turned to a small laugh as Kibum slowed his pace down as the two continued to walk. Jinki’s face felt hot. “You’re really weird, you know that?” Kibum told him. Jinki smiled.
“Maybe,” Jinki replied. “Where are you taking me? Are we studying somewhere else?”
“Forget about studying for a bit,” Kibum told him. “We’re going somewhere two blocks from here. It’s for your own good.” He replied. “You’ll be much improved once I’m done with you.”
“Huh?” Jinki asked.
“Your hair, I mean,” Kibum said. “What exactly is that, anyway?” He picked up a few strands of the black mess that coiled its way around Jinki’s head. “A bowl cut is cute when you’re, you know, five. And this one is overdue for a haircut by a few years.”
“Wait, you’re taking me to get a haircut?” Jinki blinked.
“Of course,” Kibum said. “Ah! Here we are.” He shoved Jinki into the salon before he could mutter words against it, and promptly went over to the hairdresser to make an impromptu appointment. Jinki tried to form words of disagreement but Kibum completely ignored him before he was dragged to the back of the place by a hairdresser and Jinki just thought it would be best to remain quiet and not make a scene in front of the obviously high class clientele, so he quieted, and let them do as they wished. Kibum joined him after his hair got a requisite wash, and made suggestions to the hairdresser as she clipped off his hair.
“Cut a bit more here, and leave more here,” Kibum would say, and “how about this nice auburn? I think it’s so much more fashionable than just a plain brown,” and honestly Jinki didn’t know what the hell he was going on about (both colors looked pretty much the same to him) but he just let it happen. And when finally the whole thing was done, he peered up over his glasses and looked at the mirror and he barely recognized himself.
“I knew you had potential,” Kibum said smugly. “Do you have contacts at home?”
“Um, yeah, but I don’t wear them.”
“If I see you in these pitiable glasses again I’m going to throw them. You should wear your contacts.”
“O-Okay. Look, Kibum-what is this-” He was distracted from his question when he saw the price tag that came along with these haircuts. That wasn’t even how much he made in two weeks at his job. How the hell was he supposed to pay for this?
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” Kibum told him, and pulled out some cash and paid for it with nonchalance, like he was purchasing gum at a convenience store. “You needed that. Really. I can actually look at you know. Who knew you actually had cute eyes somewhere under all that hair?”
Jinki blushed briefly, but still felt awkward about the fact that an almost-complete stranger had just paid for his ridiculously expensive haircut. He looked at Kibum, before briefly running his fingers through his considerably shorter, and lighter colored hair. He wondered how people would perceive him now…
“Kibum, I’ll pay you back for this,” Jinki told him resolutely.
“Don’t worry about it,” Kibum told him. They left the salon together. “You must have heard all about the rumors about me. My mother is wealthy. So, I am wealthy. She lets me have whatever I want, and right now I want you to look halfway presentable, so I did it mostly for me, and not for you.”
Somehow, that made Jinki laugh. He didn’t miss how Kibum’s lips twitched upward in a smile. The atmosphere somehow warmed up between the two of them, and Jinki felt his heart thump in rhythm with their steps as they walked together through the city.
The rest of their time with one another that day was a reverie. They had stopped for ice cream not long after the haircut, and Kibum had ordered a giant sundae but insisted that he couldn’t eat the whole thing, so they ended up sharing it instead (for some reason, Jinki felt his heart electrify at the idea). Kibum laughed when Jinki had some strawberry on the side of his mouth, and wiped it off for him with a napkin. He only smiled when Jinki blushed.
After this, because Kibum decided that he absolutely needed to go shopping, the two of them went to the mall together, and Jinki followed Kibum around with utmost patience as they went from store to store. Kibum rewarded him for this by linking their arms together as they headed out (with Jinki carrying his bags, of course-but he could hardly feel the weight when he realized that Kibum was so close). They walked together down the streets as the sun melted away into dusk, and Jinki felt that, for once, everything was right in the world.
“This is where I’m leaving you, Jinki.” Kibum said, as they stopped in front of a rather large (and posh-looking) condominium right in the middle of the city. Jinki realized that this must be where he lived-it was suitable, seeing as how fancy the place looked. Kibum took his bags and walked toward two lovely gold-plated doors. They opened automatically for him. “I’ll see you around.” He smiled-that sweet, small, lovely smile-and Jinki’s heart softened.
“Goodbye,” Jinki told him, as he walked away. He sighed-though with an inexplicable smile on his face and hum in his body-and turned around and started to walk back to his own home. It was only a few steps later that he received a text message from Kibum.
Saturday at 12PM, @ the café.
Jinki grinned.
---
The next week was a complete blur. School was just something that happened and after it happened he and Kibum would make their rendezvous off campus and meet somewhere where it could be just them. It was all under the pretense of ‘the project’ but ‘the project’ wasn’t even close to done and Jinki didn’t even care anymore. All that he cared about was Kibum. All he wanted was to be with him, talk with him, laugh with him, watch the sun rays bounce off his highlighted cheekbones when he smiled…
On Monday, Kibum would say, “I want to watch a movie,” and Jinki would quickly usher him to a movie theater, and they’d buy tickets for the horror film that just came out. Kibum would outright admit that he’d get scared and Jinki would put on a brave face but in the end, both of them ended up clutching to each other and screaming when the bloody man with an axe popped out from behind a rock.
“Would you like to go ride bikes in the park?” Jinki would ask, and he’d get completely mock-offended when Kibum told him that he didn’t know how to ride a bicycle. “Well, today’s the day you’ll learn,” he’d tell him, and they’d spend Wednesday afternoon in the park, Jinki teaching Kibum how to not fall on his ass while on a bike. For someone who was so naturally good at things, Kibum had an awful time trying to find his balance on a bike, and Jinki was there to steady him, standing behind him so closely that when the wind blew, his cheek would be tickled by Kibum’s soft, shiny hair and when he breathed, he could smell the vanilla and musk that made up Kibum’s scent. In the end though, they gave up and decided to eat ice cream cones together and sit on the park bench and talk until the sun went down and the stars peeked through.
“Let’s go to the amusement park,” Kibum would tell him on Thursday afternoon, and Jinki would walk with him there and they’d ride on the roller coaster (and Jinki would requisitely throw up afterwards) and then they’d buy cotton candy and play games together (Jinki wanted to be cool and win Kibum a giant teddy bear, but in the end he failed and Kibum won it for himself instead) and at the end of it all they took a compulsory ride on the Ferris wheel. The sun wasn’t setting yet but when they reached the top, Jinki felt his face get hot and he looked half-expectantly at Kibum, who was sitting next to him. Kibum studied him for a bit, and then chuckled a little and reached over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Jinki fell off the chair in surprise and embarrassment before his lips could ever touch his skin, and Kibum only laughed.
“You can try that again sometime, you know,” Jinki informed him as they got off the Ferris wheel. Kibum only rolled his eyes and shoved him lightly as he brushed past, but Jinki saw the smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes as he walked ahead.
It was so natural, it was like breathing. There was awkwardness anymore between them, no barriers. He was just Jinki, and Kibum accepted him as such: clumsiness and too-wide grin and bad jokes and everything else in-between. And Kibum was too noisy sometimes, and other times he was too bossy and demanding and he was more than just a little spoiled, but Jinki could see past his flamboyant exterior and he knew that deep inside under all that glitter and pretense, there was a caring, protective person.
Kibum was consuming him. There was never a moment when he didn’t think about him. His grades dropped a little, and he tripped over nothing a little bit more, and he couldn’t concentrate on anything else but he didn’t care because he wondered about that tight, buzzing feeling in his chest, and he didn’t want to use the word love just yet but Jinki knew it was something close.
He had to tell him.
---
“Jinki hyung! Wow-hyung, is that really you?”
Jinki turned around to see one of his closest friends, Lee Taemin, approach him with an astonished look on his face. Their good friend Choi Minho was close behind. Jinki smiled a bit smugly and beckoned the two sophomores toward the table where he was sitting. It was lunchtime in the cafeteria on a Friday, and his mother had been nice today and packed him lunch, which he appreciated.
“Hyung, your hair looks really good,” Minho complimented him. “I didn’t know you wore contacts either.”
“Yes,” Jinki told him as he straightened his shoulders a little bit, pleased. He loved his friends, but forgot that they hadn’t seen him since a week ago when he had gotten his hair cut (needless to say, other people had been consuming his time). He looked at something at the corner of his eye before turning back to Taemin and Minho, who were sitting down across from him. “Looks nice, huh? I should have gotten a haircut and dye job a long time ago.”
“What happened, hyung? Is this what happens when Minho and I don’t see you at all for a week? We all know you’re not exactly the, um, fashion-conscious type.” Taemin said, grinning cheekily.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jinki snapped good-naturedly. “I can look good too, you know. I got this haircut last Friday.” He looked at that same point to the left of him once more, before turning his attention back to his friends. This time, his (not so subtle) efforts didn’t go unnoticed.
“What are you looking at?” Taemin turned his head to see a table full of attractive young men-the so-called popular crowd-with one Kim Kibum sitting right in the middle, telling some sort of story that had everyone absolutely in stitches. Another junior by the name of Kim Jonghyun was sitting right next to Kibum, and slung an arm around his shoulder as the pair laughed. Taemin turned to see Jinki blatantly watching the scene unfold, hoping, praying that Kibum would catch his eye.
“Oh, hyung, how was working on that World History project with Kim Kibum? That must have been awkward. He’s so…weird.”
Jinki’s attention snapped back to Taemin at the mention of Kibum’s name. “Huh?” He said, before looking at his food. He poked at his rice with his chopsticks. “He’s not weird,” he said, not realizing he was smiling. Happiness, thick like honey, spread throughout his body at the very thought. “He’s…he’s really great, actually. Kibum. At first it was kind of awkward, but then we started talking, and well-it wasn’t really that we started talking, he dragged me to a hair salon and fixed my hair and demanded I wear contacts-and then we walked around the city together and shared ice cream together and we went shopping and he spent so long deciding between two shirts; it was so cute…”
Jinki didn’t realize he was rambling until Minho cleared his throat. Jinki stopped speaking and looked at the two of them. Minho was quietly eating again and Taemin just looked at him with those typical doe eyes, looking utterly confused.
“Maybe you’ll understand one day, Taemin-ah,” Jinki told him, dreamily. Taemin frowned a little.
“Hyung, you’re not doing anything stupid, are you?” He asked. Jinki blinked.
“No, of course not. Why is befriending Kibum stupid? He comes on strong at first, I know, but… But, I can tell,” Jinki smiled. “He’s really a very loving person. I’m glad we’re friends. We’re…just friends.”
“Which is why you’re staring longingly in his direction hoping he’ll acknowledge you, I suppose?” Minho told him, and Taemin snickered.
Jinki simply blushed. He didn’t try to defend himself, and quieted for a few moments. “It’s quite simple, though,” he looked at the other boys solemnly. “I’ve never felt that way around someone before.”
Minho looked down at his food, unsure of what to say, but Taemin watched him earnestly. “But you must have heard about him, hyung. He might not be the kind of person you want to get involved with like that.”
“What do you mean?” Jinki frowned, puzzled. “I thought he enjoyed himself too…”
“No, I mean…” Taemin leaned forward, and Jinki mirrored him. “He kind of gets around.”
Jinki blinked. “I don’t understand,” he said.
“You really haven’t heard? He’s had tons of girlfriends. And boyfriends. He’ll date practically anyone, that’s what I heard. I also heard that he hooks up. A lot.” Taemin added, gravely. “His mother is barely home, so he brings people back to his place, and you know. With them. Why do you think he’s so popular? I also heard that he and that blond boy, Kim Jonghyun, are, um, friends with benefits.” He whispered the last three words lowly as if it was some sort of evil curse.
“What’s a friend with benefits?” Jinki asked, his voice hollow.
“That means they’re friends who, you know, have sex.” Taemin said, seriously.
Jinki looked somewhat pale. “That’s not true, is it? Those are just rumors, right? Kibum isn’t that type of person. He wouldn’t play around like that.”
“I heard he’s just looking to hook up. And I think that may be true. A few weeks ago, I saw him kissing a boy by the lockers. And then only a few days later, I saw him kissing someone else by the gym.” Taemin told him gravely. “So… You should be careful, hyung. Just because it’s special to you doesn’t mean that he sees you any differently than all the other boys he’s gone there with.”
All the other boys he’s gone there with, Jinki thought, and the words echoed in his head like a drum beating from a distance. All the other boys.
Jinki looked blankly at Taemin, and even Minho had stopped eating to look.
“Hyung?” Minho asked, but Jinki barely heard him. His eyes were only ever on Kibum, watching him sit at that lunch table with that Jonghyun boy’s arm slipping off his perfect shoulder.
“I don’t believe it,” Jinki finally said, looking resolute. “I don’t believe it. Kibum can’t be like that. He can’t. He’s not that type of person.” He was repeating it to further drive it into his own heart. “He’s… He’s too sincere a person. I can’t believe it,” Jinki said one final time, and he got up suddenly. “I’m… I’ve got some homework I need to finish,” he said quickly, before he walked out of the cafeteria altogether, leaving Kibum and his two friends behind.
---
Read Part Two here.
Cross-posted to shinee_replay and onkey