I wish I knew how to quit you.
I'm in a bad mood and I decide to put on mg iPod and drown out the world. And of course all the songs are ones that remind me of you.
It's been three fucking years. God knows you've moved on. Why can't I? I don't get it. I pushed you so far out of reach it's ridiculous yet after three years, you're still there. You're still the background to my foreground.
We can barely talk now and yeah, most of it is my fault and some of it is the growing up we both desperately needed. You forgave me. But it wasn't enough, it'll never be enough. And somewhere, in the back of my mind, I wonder if you really loved me, especially after we met. I always wondered what you really thought of me after that week. I always wonder if you were as happy as you told people you were, how you really felt being here with me instead of an ocean away.
But most of all, I wonder if I still cross your mind outside of the times you awkwardly talk to me on twitter. I miss you so much and you...well I'm not sure.
It's been three fucking years. God knows you've moved on. Why can't I? I don't get it. I pushed you so far out of reach it's ridiculous yet after three years, you're still there. You're still the background to my foreground.
We can barely talk now and yeah, most of it is my fault and some of it is the growing up we both desperately needed. You forgave me. But it wasn't enough, it'll never be enough. And somewhere, in the back of my mind, I wonder if you really loved me, especially after we met. I always wondered what you really thought of me after that week. I always wonder if you were as happy as you told people you were, how you really felt being here with me instead of an ocean away.
But most of all, I wonder if I still cross your mind outside of the times you awkwardly talk to me on twitter. I miss you so much and you...well I'm not sure.