An angry update....
...oh wait, is that an "an" that goes there or an "a"? Im not sure. Lets aske the anonymous fukr that posts in my journal.
Well lets see. There was something that an anonymous fukr put in my journal a couple days ago. While I hate anonymous fukrs. I did realize a few things.
They said …"just as he did when ya’ll were together". .....
Now, I don’t know who this is, but how do they know this. Do they REALLY know this? Cause I don’t recall it being so bluntly in my face, hes going to do whatever he wants when he wants, just like when we were together. Hmm, I don’t know about that.
They also said…...”You should not try to steer him, or make him try to start his new life based on what you selfishly want. It is his decision where to go to school, not anyone elses!"
.......now, back up. Hold on just a minute. I never…ever…EVER said I wanted him to do ANYTHING based on what I wanted. Im also smart enough to know that it is his decision to go to school wherever he wants. Dah fuktard. I have never tried to steer him in any kind of way unless I knew it could hurt him in some way. I don’t recall ever saying I was doing that or ever implying that I would do that, or have done that.
Next thing……"Too bad you can't see for yourself how ridiculous this whole thing is like everyone else who reads this can. If you want to fall in love with children, you gotta be prepared for everything that comes with it! You think a 17 year old queer is really concerned with "forever"? Ummm, no. You've been kidding yourself for real."
……Its funny that noone else has a big enough problem with this to say something. I don’t know who half of these people are. If it was that big of a deal they would probly say something. Ive never asked anyone on here or in my life, hey, sugar coat this, or be nice about this, or tell me what I want to hear. No Im the opposite. Tell me what the fuk I don’t want to hear. That’s me. Id rather know what someone else thinks and hash through that, than to not get any ones opinion. I didn’t ever intentionally fall in love with a child. He fell in love with me first, and of course Im gonna fall for him. He was everything to me. Hott, funny, smart, sex...well, plus he was nice. I mean really. I didn’t have to be prepared and obviously wasn’t. I mean I knew he was young, and tried to take my time, but I couldn’t. Just how the cards were dealt. First, yes he was 17. Queer?? I don’t like to refer to anyone that doenst act like your dumb ass a queer. I don’t consider myself that, and didn’t him. He may turn into a queer, but don’t call him that without even knowing him. You don’t even know him, are you serious? Or do you, fukr? He may not have been concerned with forever, but he sure talked the hell out of it. I know Jeremy as well. He has the heart and care to have forever in his life. His age is just getting in the way of that. Being in the town hes in and the life hes had hasn’t helped him much either. I was never kidding myself up until the point I was trying to hold on. You don’t know what was said, you don’t know how either of us felt, so shutup about that. Yes I was very VERY much kidding myself in the end, that Ill admit. Just like any other JUSTIFIED wrong here.
Then, lastly…. "Try dating someone your own age for once! Theres an novel idea!"
……..First, thats just a stupid fukn statement. Ive tried dating older fukrs, younger fukrs, and fukrs the same age. They were all the same. FAGS will always be the same. No matter what. I will, you will, every one of us will. Just some not as trifling and gutted as you. ;) If you want to say..Theres A novel idea instead on AN then maybe you can talk to me about something.
OK, NOW. Granted, I hate you, and wished to God I could know who you were(to call your ass out), I thank you. ;) You did make me see how ridiculous I was being. I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and ever will. I know that. He will soon know that. Time will tell him. Hurt, pain, heart brokenness, lonliness, empty feelings, never a true love, sleepless nights will tell him. He’s created this for himself. I tried and gave it my all. No more stupidness out of me. I cant be that person anymore. I WONT be. I have given chance after chance. No more. I love him, and never want anything bad to happen to him. Ill be his friend, and Ill always be there. But our love, gone, dissipated, extinguished. Hes not in love with me anymore, he told me so, and I no longer have that love for him. Its sad to say after all this. I cant. Ive shut that feeling in my heart off. It may arise in a drunken state, but Ill deal with that when it happens. You know last Sat night is the first time Ive been out, drunk, and haven’t said one fukn thing about him or cried over him.
Its really sad when you think you have such good advice, and when someone has hurt as much as you've seen I have, that your going to make a stupid fukn comment like that. Your just a fukn bastard, is all I gots to say.
I’ll elaborate more on all this later. Ive taken up plenty of room and Im over this shit for now.
Thanks, and have a good night!!
Well lets see. There was something that an anonymous fukr put in my journal a couple days ago. While I hate anonymous fukrs. I did realize a few things.
They said …"just as he did when ya’ll were together". .....
Now, I don’t know who this is, but how do they know this. Do they REALLY know this? Cause I don’t recall it being so bluntly in my face, hes going to do whatever he wants when he wants, just like when we were together. Hmm, I don’t know about that.
They also said…...”You should not try to steer him, or make him try to start his new life based on what you selfishly want. It is his decision where to go to school, not anyone elses!"
.......now, back up. Hold on just a minute. I never…ever…EVER said I wanted him to do ANYTHING based on what I wanted. Im also smart enough to know that it is his decision to go to school wherever he wants. Dah fuktard. I have never tried to steer him in any kind of way unless I knew it could hurt him in some way. I don’t recall ever saying I was doing that or ever implying that I would do that, or have done that.
Next thing……"Too bad you can't see for yourself how ridiculous this whole thing is like everyone else who reads this can. If you want to fall in love with children, you gotta be prepared for everything that comes with it! You think a 17 year old queer is really concerned with "forever"? Ummm, no. You've been kidding yourself for real."
……Its funny that noone else has a big enough problem with this to say something. I don’t know who half of these people are. If it was that big of a deal they would probly say something. Ive never asked anyone on here or in my life, hey, sugar coat this, or be nice about this, or tell me what I want to hear. No Im the opposite. Tell me what the fuk I don’t want to hear. That’s me. Id rather know what someone else thinks and hash through that, than to not get any ones opinion. I didn’t ever intentionally fall in love with a child. He fell in love with me first, and of course Im gonna fall for him. He was everything to me. Hott, funny, smart, sex...well, plus he was nice. I mean really. I didn’t have to be prepared and obviously wasn’t. I mean I knew he was young, and tried to take my time, but I couldn’t. Just how the cards were dealt. First, yes he was 17. Queer?? I don’t like to refer to anyone that doenst act like your dumb ass a queer. I don’t consider myself that, and didn’t him. He may turn into a queer, but don’t call him that without even knowing him. You don’t even know him, are you serious? Or do you, fukr? He may not have been concerned with forever, but he sure talked the hell out of it. I know Jeremy as well. He has the heart and care to have forever in his life. His age is just getting in the way of that. Being in the town hes in and the life hes had hasn’t helped him much either. I was never kidding myself up until the point I was trying to hold on. You don’t know what was said, you don’t know how either of us felt, so shutup about that. Yes I was very VERY much kidding myself in the end, that Ill admit. Just like any other JUSTIFIED wrong here.
Then, lastly…. "Try dating someone your own age for once! Theres an novel idea!"
……..First, thats just a stupid fukn statement. Ive tried dating older fukrs, younger fukrs, and fukrs the same age. They were all the same. FAGS will always be the same. No matter what. I will, you will, every one of us will. Just some not as trifling and gutted as you. ;) If you want to say..Theres A novel idea instead on AN then maybe you can talk to me about something.
OK, NOW. Granted, I hate you, and wished to God I could know who you were(to call your ass out), I thank you. ;) You did make me see how ridiculous I was being. I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and ever will. I know that. He will soon know that. Time will tell him. Hurt, pain, heart brokenness, lonliness, empty feelings, never a true love, sleepless nights will tell him. He’s created this for himself. I tried and gave it my all. No more stupidness out of me. I cant be that person anymore. I WONT be. I have given chance after chance. No more. I love him, and never want anything bad to happen to him. Ill be his friend, and Ill always be there. But our love, gone, dissipated, extinguished. Hes not in love with me anymore, he told me so, and I no longer have that love for him. Its sad to say after all this. I cant. Ive shut that feeling in my heart off. It may arise in a drunken state, but Ill deal with that when it happens. You know last Sat night is the first time Ive been out, drunk, and haven’t said one fukn thing about him or cried over him.
Its really sad when you think you have such good advice, and when someone has hurt as much as you've seen I have, that your going to make a stupid fukn comment like that. Your just a fukn bastard, is all I gots to say.
I’ll elaborate more on all this later. Ive taken up plenty of room and Im over this shit for now.
Thanks, and have a good night!!