i get this way from time to time, no notice given.

[against_pean]

I hate that i still get down about this. Shouldn't i be over this by now? I hate that i feel so empty and terrible, like i'm missing out on something huge! I hate that i take it out on robert when i get depressed about this, becuase he cant do anything about it and its not his fault. I sometimes just cant quit crying, and i hate it! I wish there was someone or some way to just never think about it again and take my mind off of things. I have a really hard time talking to other people about it because i don't think its possible for anyone else to understand...I don't want someone to feel bad for me because i feel bad enough as it is, i just wish there was someone that i could cry too, someone that would understand without me saying a word. Someone that could understand why i'm crying and how i could want something so bad. Robert gets me but just not on this topic. I still have hope that maybe one day i will just wake up and everything will be fine, but sometimes its that hope that i have that gets me depressed, only because i always wake up and its never fine. I hate the pain that i feel because of being sick...emotional and physical.

Its just been a bad day...

i know it will pass...