LC4 Entry 6: Secrets
Title: Secrets
Themes and/or Prompt/s Fairy Tales / Captured
Rating: PG (for now)
Word count: 4767
Characters/Pairings: AG
Spoilers/Warnings: *Optional*
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Arthur and Merlin just want to be left alone but find themselves bound by love and duty to the fight for Camelot.
Author’s notes: This is a WIP. Thanks to F for her help. I actually have a lot to say about this fic but I guess it can wait till I can post it. :D
Fic inspired by this artwork: http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j343/ag_fics/2012%20Challenge%20Banners/longchallenge4promptbanner1.png
The moment the cell door slammed shut and the lock was bolted in place, Arthur turned to Merlin. “Great. This is all your fault.”
“How is this my fault?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you woke the guards with your coughing fit?”
“If you’d listened to me in the first place, then we wouldn’t even have had to sneak into Camelot to retrieve your stupid sword.”
“Shut up Merlin.” Arthur didn’t need to be reminded of how he foolishly lost his precious sword in a drunken bet. “Use your magic to get us out.”
“Shh! You know magic is banned here as well. Are you trying to get me killed?”
Grumbling under his breath, Arthur slumped in the corner of the cell. This was getting worse and worse. First Vivian broke up with him, claiming his life was too unstable, too dangerous although he knew it was really because he didn’t have as much money or land as Gregory. Then, the drunken bet which resulted in him losing Excalibur to some knight of Camelot. And now he was stuck in the Camelot dungeons. He'll probably be sentenced to a lifetime of hard labour as a final hurrah of his miserable life.
“You’re making that face again.” Here they were, captured by Camelot, a kingdom not known for their generosity or kindness, especially to their enemies and there was Merlin cheerfully inspecting the dungeons and passing remarks about his face.
“Go away.”
“I would but if you haven’t noticed, we’re stuck in the dungeons.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Look, I’m sure the Queen will pardon us when we explain -”
“When we explain we are here to steal a sword from her knight? I know you’re not terribly smart Merlin but you can't think that she's going to just shake her head, smack us on the hands and send us on our merry way? Also, I don't intend to leave without Excalibur."
Merlin sighed and finally settled down in the other corner of the cell. "I still cannot believe you named your sword."
“Shut up Merlin.”
+
He supposed that had he been a lord or a king, he might have found sleeping in the cell uncomfortable but for the first time in weeks, he had a safe place to sleep in, a place he didn’t have to sleep with one eye open, especially since Merlin appeared to have no sense of self-preservation and slept like a log.
As expected, after being served a breakfast of mushy gruel, some guards turned up to haul Merlin and him to see the Queen. Arthur knew little about the Queen. With the sudden death of King Uther, she was quickly thrust upon the throne just a few months ago. Rumour had it that she was as heartless and ruthless as her father but that was hardly surprising. What did they expect from a girl who was cloistered in the castle with her tyrannical father all her life?
Whatever the Queen was like, it was clear that they needed to somehow talk their way out of their predicament. Either that, or persuade Merlin that this was a good time to use his magic, something Merlin had reluctantly agreed to when they discussed their options in the wee hours of the morning. For a man so powerful, Merlin was strangely reluctant to use his magic. He glanced at Merlin. Merlin grimaced and shrugged.
Then all hell broke loose.
Shouts and screams rang in the air and the emergency bells sounded deep. All of a sudden, Arthur and Merlin found themselves abandoned in the corridors of the castle as their guards dashed off. This was convenient. With a mutter, Merlin quickly divested them of their shackles and the two men carefully crept down the corridors. The servants and knights, in their panic, ignored them, brushing past them without a second look.
"Excalibur!"
"Are you mad?"
"Look, this is the best time to get it. Come on!" If this castle was like the one in Rhegad, and Arthur couldn't see why it wouldn't be, then the knights' quarters wouldn't be far from the dungeons. Glancing back to make sure Merlin was following, Arthur continued down the hallways, darting into rooms to check for the presence of Excalibur. Luck was clearly on their side when on the table of the fifth room they entered lay Excalibur in all it's exquisite glory. With a sigh of relief, Arthur grabbed the sword, grabbed Merlin and ran.
"Let's get out of here!" Arthur yelled as they dodged frantic knights, servants and other random people. The shouting and screaming had intensified and Arthur thought he could smell smoke. Having Excalibur in his hand was extremely comforting. If need be, he and Merlin would be able to fight their way out of Camelot. It would be quite the story to tell in the future - how he and Merlin were there when Camelot fell. And to think Camelot was one of the biggest and strongest kingdoms in Albion.
+
“Admit it. You don’t know how to get out of the castle.”
Arthur slowed down enough to glare at Merlin. “It’s not easy when the whole castle is in an uproar and dashing about. Also, we are trying to avoid those skeletons trampling through the castle - you know, the ones my sword nor your magic seem able to defeat? I don’t think they care particularly that we are not actually from Camelot.”
“Let’s just get out from a window. Surely any room will have one.”
“I’m amazed Merlin. A promising idea from you?”
“Here.” Merlin pushed open an ornate door and gestured for Arthur to get in. “I think this room probably faces the - oh.”
Oh indeed. The room was not empty. A young lady stood in the room, her sword drawn and pointing at them. While her eyes looked defiantly at them, Arthur noticed that she was trembling. A strange sense of protectiveness swamped him as he looked at her.
“Who are you?” Her voice shook but she lifted her chin as if to make up for it.
Merlin spoke first. “Hey, we’re not here to hurt you. We’re just trying to get to safety. You shouldn’t be here either. It looks like the castle is about to taken down by a bunch of rampaging bones.”
Yanking open the window, Arthur peered out. It was quite the drop but Merlin probably knew a spell to manage that. He looked back at the sword-wielding lady. Her sword had dipped a little but she still stood there. There was no way he could leave her there, not when he could hear the clacking of bones outside the room.
Merlin was already at the window muttering. Without a second thought, Arthur grabbed the lady’s hand and pulled her to the window.
“I can’t -”
“You’ll die if you stay and believe me, dying isn’t as romantic as people seem to think.” Unceremoniously, he picked her up and tossed her out of the window and jumped out after her. As expected, Merlin ensured they all landed safely in the courtyard below. The lady still seemed in shock so Arthur took her hand again, pulling her with them as they ran out of the castle and into the nearby forest before finally letting go as he leaned against a tree to catch his breath. The lady too slumped against another tree, breathing heavily. Merlin simply collapsed onto the ground.
For a few minutes, no one said anything. Then she slid to the ground and started to sob. Arthur turned to Merlin, whose only response was to widen his eyes and look absolutely terrified. Brilliant. It looked like Merlin was going to be completely useless. Sitting himself next to the lady, Arthur patted her shoulder awkwardly. He thought that would make her realise that she wasn't alone and she would stop crying. He certainly didn't expect her to turn and fling herself into his arms. Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her as she buried her face into his shoulder and sobbed.
"Rub her back," whispered Merlin as he mimed the actions as if Arthur was incapable of comprehending what rubbing someone's back meant. Arthur shook his head. He wasn't about to rub a random stranger's back, no matter how hard she was crying or how pretty she was. Merlin frowned, as if he disagreed with Arthur. "Comforting," he mouthed. If it wasn't completely inappropriate, Arthur would have passed the lady to Merlin since he was such an expert on comforting people. Rolling his eyes, Arthur continued to awkwardly pat her shoulder.
She hiccuped and pulled away. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have just - oh, I'm so sorry." Her eyes were red from crying and a slight blush painted her cheeks. “Oh god. Camelot is gone.” The pain in her voice was palpable and for a moment, Arthur didn’t know what to say.
“The skeletons were quite determined. I wonder who was behind them.”
Looking at him, she finally said, “Morgana.” Morgana. Arthur immediately darted a glance at Merlin who for once didn’t have his feelings written all over his face. Instinctively, he moved closer to Merlin.
Finally Merlin spoke. “Morgana. High Priestess of the Old Religion?”
The lady looked sharply at Merlin. “You know her?”
“Doesn’t everybody?” Arthur interrupted. “But what does she want with Camelot?”
Again the lady hesitated and Merlin answered instead. “She wants revenge for the magic purge. On some level, I don’t blame her.”
Arthur caught the slight shift in the lady’s expression. “Don’t mind him. He’s in a bad mood because I made him come to Camelot with me. We’re off to Rhegar and you’re welcome to join us if you want.” It seemed the right thing to say to change the subject and really, all she had was a sword and in her distress, it seemed awful to simply leave her in the forest. And looking at the way she was dressed, she was likely someone important in Camelot and that could only be to his and Merlin’s benefit. They could get rewarded for saving her life.
The lady stood and looked back towards Camelot where only smoke could be seen. For a while she said nothing. Then, as if coming to a decision, she let out a shuddering breath but when she turned back to them, her face was stoic and her voice calm. “Yes please.”
“How about a name then?” Merlin’s mood having apparently cleared up, ambled up to her and stretched out his arm. “I’m Merlin, general dogsbody to this bully right here.”
“I’m - er - my name is Gwen.” She shook Merlin’s hand. “You’re his servant?”
“We’re supposed to be friends but Arthur -”
“Shut up Merlin. I’m Arthur.” Her warm fingers curled around his hand and he couldn’t help the noticing how smooth her palm was. She was no servant. Hopefully by delivering her safely to Rhegar, he and Merlin would get enough to last a few weeks.
She smiled tentatively at him and something tugged at his heart. Immediately, he dropped her hand. “We should keep moving.”
+
Gwen had no idea who these two men were but she realised she had little choice. As defeated as she felt, as much as she just wanted to curl up and pretend that the last few hours didn’t happen, she needed to pull herself together. Morgana might be victorious now but Gwen was going to make sure that her victory didn’t last. While she may not be the best ruler, at least she loved her people. Morgana only wanted control of Camelot to make a point. And if she needed to make nice with these two men and then beg on her knees in Rhegar in order to save Camelot from Morgana, then she would.
They trudged through the forest in silence. Keeping herself slightly behind them, she used the chance to examine the two of them. The skinnier one had magic and while he appeared to be generally more cheerful and friendly than the other, she was still wary about him. The other, while polite, seemed less friendly. She wondered who they were and how they came to be in her castle when Morgana attacked. At first she feared that they were Morgana’s men but they seemed to have no idea who she was and if they were trying to kidnap her, they were doing a very poor job. She was unshackled and still had her sword.
“Bandits! Get down!” Arthur quickly grabbed her and pulled her down behind a bush. She watched apprehensively as a group of about six men moved near them, the leader insisting that he had heard voices just moments before.
“They must be here somewhere. Keep looking.”
“Ok, here’s the plan. Merlin to deal with the two stragglers over there. I’ll deal with the rest and you back me up.” Arthur nodded at her and she nodded her agreement. While she had trained in sword fighting before, she had never been in an actual, honest to goodness sword fight before. “On my signal.”
It was both incredibly terrifying and exhilarating. To be honest, Arthur did most of the fighting but she wasn’t some useless damsel in distress, not when she successfully distracted one of the men who was sneaking up on him. Her proudest moment came when she disarmed on of the bandits, laying him open for Arthur to subdue.
A strange warmth filled her when Arthur turned to her after tying up the bandits and smiled widely. “Good job. You’re pretty good with a sword.” She tried to say thank you but nothing came out and so she settled on a returning smile.
The rest of the journey that day was uneventful and idle conversation distracted them from the tedium of their walk. Soon enough though, they exhausted the weather and silly things Merlin did as conversation topics. Things then turned slightly more personal. She knew she shouldn’t get too close to these two - they were really a means to an end - but her curiosity got the better of her.
“What do the two of you do? And why were you in Camelot?”
“We run errands, solve problems, defend people - anything that pays us really. Well, anything that isn’t evil that pays us.” Merlin smiled at her then gestured to her clothes. “A far cry from you I expect.”
“I - I work in the castle. As a handmaiden to one of the ladies.”
Arthur frowned at those words but said nothing. Merlin continued to talk. “Better than us. After our homes in Rhegar burned down and the King refused to help repair them, we’ve been moving around. On a good day, we can afford a few nights at the tavern.”
“And you aspire to nothing more?” It was the wrong thing to say. Merlin stopped talking and Arthur’s eyes narrowed.
“We make an honest living and we’re happy. I’m sorry you feel we are unworthy. Feel free to leave our company at any time.”
Silence dominated the rest of the walk.
+
She stared at the burning flames, watching as sparks jumped into the air. She should apologise for what she said but she didn’t know how. They both seemed unhappy with her and it hurt. For a moment, after the bandit attack and when they were laughing about the weather and silly stories Merlin told, she felt for once like she had friends. People who liked her for her. Then she had to ruin it all with her words. They probably disliked her now and she wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to abandon her in the forest.
So when Merlin plopped himself next to her, she jumped.
He held out a water flask. “Have some water.”
“Thank you.” Was this a peace offering?
“Don’t worry about earlier.”
“I didn’t mean to offend.”
“I know. Give Arthur some time and he’ll realise that too. He used to be a blacksmith in Rhegar until our homes burned down in the great fire a few months ago. He lost everything and well, rebuilding was more or less impossible. He’s pretty nifty with a sword and I’ve magic so we figured we’ll run errands until we can save up to rebuild our homes.”
“Oh.” Gwen made a note to reward them once she sorted out Camelot.
“Yeah. And a month after the fire, his then beau dumped him with more or less the same words you used, accusing him of not aspiring for more. So really, you just rubbed a raw nerve.” He smiled. “Don’t worry. We won’t just leave you in the woods.”
“You two seem like good people.”
That made Merlin laugh. “Hey, if you’re from Camelot, you probably haven’t seen much magic.”
“Oh no. In Camelot, we were told magic was evil.”
Merlin’s eyes darkened and he frowned. “It’s not. It’s as evil as a sword. You just said I was a good person. And I have magic.”
“I know. I’ve realised in the past few months that there’s a lot I don’t know.” As she watched Merlin make the flames dance in patterns, she realised just how true those words were. There were so many things she never questioned when she was princess. It was so easy to think her father knew everything - that he was the perfect king. But he didn’t and he wasn’t the perfect king. Far from it.
+
Arthur watched from the tree he was leaning against as Merlin conjured up some daisies for Gwen. He was pretty sure that Gwen was lying about working as a handmaid in the castle but she probably had her reason. And he was feeling slightly bad about his reaction to her words earlier, especially when she looked so crushed after what he said.
But now, her eyes were sparkling and he could hear her giggle. In the firelight, she looked almost ethereal. As they chatted and laughed, Arthur had to admit they looked cute together. Hopefully Merlin was smart enough to realise nothing was going to come out of it. Although Gwen had said she was just a handmaid, Arthur was pretty sure she was a noble lady. It was in the way she carried herself, the way she spoke. He had to admit that he was impressed that she hadn’t complained at all when they had to trek through mud earlier. She also showed herself to be quite handy with a sword when the small group of bandits attacked them - not terribly skilled but at least she knew what she was doing. Plus she was brave. And he enjoyed talking to her.
He shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about her like this.
Somehow, she seemed to know he was thinking about her and looked up at him. A hesitant smile crossed her face and he sighed. Pushing himself from the tree, he made his way over.
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged and sat down next to Merlin. “So I see Merlin is showing off his magic.”
Later, the three of them huddled around the campfire after a meager dinner. Merlin continued to chatter about his life, spilling both his and Arthur's history to Gwen. She listened attentively, asking Arthur questions and laughing at Merlin's attempts at humor. He liked it when she laughed - it took the haunted look out of her eyes.
+
In the middle of the second day, they came across a lake. Somehow, Gwen found herself slipping on an extra shirt from Merlin and wadding into the water with them. What was supposed to be a relaxing dip in the lake quickly morphed into a water fight when Arthur splashed water on her as she was floating by. Soon, the three of them were splashing water at each other and Arthur was pouting as she and Merlin joined forces against him.
“This isn’t fair! I’m leaving you two kids here.” Gwen watched as Arthur stalked out of the lake, water dripping off him. He looked like an angel, all blond hair and smooth skin. Something stirred in her stomach and she felt her face heat up.
Merlin splashed some water at her. “To cool you down,” he smirked as he left the lake after Arthur.
They lay in the sun for a while to dry off and all Gwen could think of was Arthur glistening in the sun. After she apologised to him yesterday, their relationship seemed to improve immensely. She was going to regret this but she found herself getting fond of both Arthur and Merlin in very different ways. Merlin was like a little sibling. Her feelings for Arthur on the other hand was far from sisterly. As they journeyed one, she found herself sneaking glances at him, admiring the way his muscles moved as he walked and the way his hair shone in the sun. She suspected she wasn’t even being very subtle about it because every time she looked, Merlin would flash her a cheeky smile.
+
“Watch this!” Merlin muttered a few words and the fire took the shape of a butterfly, eliciting a gasp from Gwen.
“I never knew you were such a flirt Merlin!” Arthur tried to keep his voice teasing.
Gwen laughed, a sound Arthur suspected he liked too much for his own good. Over the past three days, somehow Gwen managed to become a part of their group. Being from Camelot with their draconian ban on magic, Gwen had never seen much magic before and Merlin spent his time showing off. Initially, she had been wary but now she encouraged Merlin’s showing off, something Arthur pretended annoyed him. But it wasn’t just Merlin’s heart she had wormed herself into.
“Arthur!” She wandered over to him as he lay the firewood on the ground, preparing for their third night in the forest. “Here let me help.”
“Thanks.”
“Merlin says it’s another day at least before we reach Rhegar.”
“That’s right. What will you do there?”
“I know people there. I hope they will lend me some assistance.”
“You know, you’re a pretty good travelling companion. Why don’t you join us?” It was meant to be a joke but the moment he said the words, he realised that he did want her to consider joining them.”
She took it as a joke. “And get to sleep on cold, hard, lumpy ground every night? I cannot wait.”
“You’ll have my company. I’ve been told I’m quite charming.”
A blush appeared on her cheeks. “I’ve heard.” Then something shifted in the air. She bit her lip and reached out a hand to touch his cheek.
Arthur immediately covered her hand with his, enjoying the feel of her soft flesh under his. “Gwen.” His eyes dropped to her lips and suddenly, it didn’t matter that she was probably a noble lady and that there was no reason to believe any relationship with her would go anywhere.
“Arthur.” She swallowed and he recognised the desire in her eyes.
Then he was kissing her, softly at first. But when she opened her mouth and moaned, he pulled her closer to him and deepened the kiss. Until his lips met hers, he didn’t realise just how much he’d been wanting to do this. And it was everything he thought it would be. She was soft and sweet and perfect.
She giggled and he pulled away, grinning at her.
“I’ve been wanting that to happen since we took that bath in the stream yesterday.” Her eyes didn’t meet his and her blush seemed to have deepened. His heart contracted.
“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since you laughed at Merlin’s terrible jokes.”
“So why have we stopped?”
He leaned his head against her forehead and murmured against her lips, “I don’t know. It was a bad idea.”
+
Arthur knew that Merlin knew but he pretended that Merlin didn’t. Merlin though wouldn’t stop smirking despite the death glares he kept sending Merlin’s way. Of course, Merlin was always slightly slow on the uptake. Why he couldn’t be slow about guessing the change in his and Gwen’s relationship, Arthur didn’t know.
It was almost like a game, sneaking kisses behind Merlin’s back. And shrouded by the forest, it was easy to pretend that they lived in a separate reality in which titles didn’t matter and fairy tales came true. For the whole day, they walked side by side, sharing secret smiles and subtle touches.
“Really, you two are as subtle as thunder.”
“Shut up Merlin!”
But then, Arthur took Gwen’s hand and pulled her to him, lacing his fingers with hers.
The forest floor was no more uncomfortable than any other forest floor he had slept on before but that night, Arthur found himself unable to sleep. After tossing and turning for a good half an hour, Arthur gave up and went to sit at the fire with Gwen who was on night watch duty. She watched him carefully as he approached. Settling down on the log beside her, Arthur slipped an arm around her shoulders and they sat side by side in silence. Her eyes were haunted again and he wanted so much to take her pain away. Yet he was reluctant to push her to reveal her secrets.
"That's a beautiful sword." It was Gwen who finally broke the silence. "Very well crafted."
"It is. My mother made it for me."
“Can I touch it?” Usually Arthur was very protective of the sword. Merlin was the only other person he allowed to handle it. But for some reason, he drew sword from its sheath and passed it over to her. The awe in her eyes made him smile. “I’ve never seen such delicate workmanship. Not even in the royal armoury.”
“My mother, she was a blacksmith. This was the last sword she made.”
Gwen handed the sword back to him. “It’s a gorgeous sword. I wish I had something of my mother’s too. All I have are vague memories. Sometimes I don’t even know if I am making them up.”
Slowly he sheathed his sword. “I have no memories of my mother at all. Just this sword. I’m not sure what is better.”
“I don’t know either. All I know is that I want to be half the person my mother was. She was kind, brave and just. Everyone loved her.” Her voice faltered. “Look at me. My kingdom falls and I run away.” He could hear the tears in her voice. Then the words she muttered hit him.
She wasn’t any noble lady. This was the Queen of Camelot. Queen Guinevere. Gwen. He should have known.
+
The moment the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back. The plan was to get to Rhegar safely and ask them for help. She didn’t to intend to reveal who she was. Not when she was enjoying being treated like an equal. It was almost like she had friends. But now, she didn’t know how they would react to her. They would have heard of her. She wasn’t deaf or blind. She knew what people thought of her - of how because she never overturned a lot of her father’s tyrannical policies and laws quickly enough they judged her to be the like her father. She knew the castle staff called her cold and unfeeling. She knew the council thought her incapable. And now that she let Morgana take over Camelot, she didn’t want to think about what her people thought of her.
And Arthur. Her heart sank.
Arthur stared at her in growing realisation. “You’re the Queen.” Immediately, he left his seat, stood and bowed. “Your majesty.”
She didn’t want him to treat her like that. She wanted him and Merlin to treat her the way they had earlier in the day, like they were friends. She wanted the warm Arthur back, the one who kissed her like she meant the world to him.
“Arthur -” She reached out her arm but he backed away.
“You should get some sleep. It will be a long walk tomorrow, your highness” he said coolly. The tears that had been pricking the back of her eyes threatened to spill over.
“I -”
“Please your highness. Get some rest. You’d want to be alert when we enter Rhegar tomorrow.” He turned away from her and began fussing with the fire, a clear signal he wasn’t going to talk to her.
“Good night Arthur.”
He said nothing.
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