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kbrand5333 February 28 2013, 15:39:33 UTC
“Sorry. What magic is this?”

“It’s called an iPad. And it’s not magic, it’s called technology.”

“Eye pad?” he points to his eye. “It doesn’t look padded.”

Francisco chokes back his laughter, clamping his hands over his mouth.

“Here,” Gwen says, glaring at her cousin. She shows Arthur an image, a painting of what Guinevere was supposed to have looked like. She sweeps her finger across the screen to another. And another.

“Oh, no, these are all wrong,” Arthur says. “My Guinevere looks nothing like this at all. I mean, this woman is lovely, but that is not my wife.”

“Really? That’s like the one thing that all the books seem to agree on. She was a strawberry blonde princess.”

“She is a dark-skinned beauty with ebony curls, and she was a servant in the castle before she was my wife. A blacksmith’s daughter.”

“No!”

Arthur nods. “Best thing I ever did was marry her. Everyone called me a fool, told me that she was a witch who enchanted me into thinking I loved her. Trust me, she needed no magic.”

“Did she cheat on you?” Artie asks.

“Cheat? I do not do battle with my wife…”

“He means did she, um… dally with another man? Sir Lancelot.”

Arthur laughs now. “Lancelot? Oh, goodness, no. Lancelot is a fine knight and a good friend, but he and Guinevere would never…”

“What’s so funny about that? It’s in a lot of these books,” Francisco points to the books again.

“Well, obviously someone felt the need to drag my wife’s good name through the mud. Lancelot, well… he um, prefers the company of… men.”

He is met with three wide-eyed stares.

“Well, specifically Merlin.”

“Shut. Up!” Gwen exclaims, causing Arthur’s brow to furrow again.

“Sorry. I don’t mean shut up literally… it’s just an expression…” she backpedals, recovering from her own shock. “It’s like, ‘I can’t believe what you just said.’”

“So you’re a happily married father of four and a half kids and Guinevere has been faithful the whole time,” Artie muses. “So then if she didn’t cheat on you, then I guess she won’t be responsible for Camelot’s downfall.”

“I should hardly think so!” Arthur exclaims. “She’s the reason we’re prospering so! She’s the wisest person in Camelot, and the people love her! Everyone loves her! She is known far and wide for her wisdom, kindness, and grace. You need to summon up whoever it is that wrote these slanderous lies about my wife and set them straight!”

“Almost out of time…” Francisco mutters, looking at a small hourglass sitting nearby.

“Did you really pull a sword out of a stone?” Artie asks hurriedly.

“Yes, but that’s probably all wrong, too,” Arthur mutters. “You know, you children are lucky you caught me in a nap and not in the middle of a battle. I could have killed you all without even realizing it.”

“Or at another inopportune time,” Francisco mutters, remembering the look that was on Arthur’s face when he was talking about his queen.

“What?” Artie asks.

“Nothing. Look, he’s going back now,” he points. Arthur is fading.

“Thank you, my lord,” Artie says.

“Yes, thank you!” Gwen calls. She watches as King Arthur’s hand reaches out and grabs the red plastic cup just before he fades completely away.

“Must have wanted a souvenir,” she says, smiling.

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kbrand5333 February 28 2013, 15:40:19 UTC
“Arthur? Arthur, wake up!” Guinevere is shaking him, her face a mask of worry.

“Guinevere?” he asks, blinking awake again, his brain once again thick and fuzzy.

“Something was very strange. I’ve summoned Merlin, but… you were… flickering.”

“Oh. Some young sorcerers summoned me into the future,” he says, casually, rubbing his forehead. “Wanted to ask me questions.”

“What?”

“Look,” he holds up the cup. “It’s called plastic.”

“What is it?”

“A drinking vessel, obviously.” He sets it down.

“So what happened?”

He tells her. Everything. About the children being named for them, the books, the eye-pad. She finds the fact that they got her physical appearance so completely wrong highly amusing.

She is less amused at his description of her as fertile.

“Well, it’s the truth. The only safe time to have marital relations with you is when you’re already with child, Guinevere,” he smirks at her.

“You know, there is something that can be done about that,” she threatens, arching an eyebrow at him.

“You wouldn’t dare!” he exclaims, grabbing her by the waist now and pulling her over him, her swollen belly pressing into his stomach.

“Then do not speak of me as though I am some farm field,” she says haughtily.

“Mmm, really? ‘Cause at the moment I feel like doing some plowing…”

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