Ranting
Haven't been keeping up with journaling... obviously.
Currently in a bad mood and feeling icky.
About a year ago Matty said he'd get the dishes. I'm STILL waiting. Yes, I'm that stubborn. A few weeks ago? he transferred them from the sink and into a bucket. They're still sitting in my recycling bin.
There are empty bottles everywhere. I keep asking Matty to rinse his out but he never gets around to it. I gathered some of them up and put them in front of his computer around his mouse. He moved them to in front of the sink, so they'd be all together and handy for when he went to wash things. They got kicked around the kitchen... and I just rinsed them... one had mold in it.
There are cans starting to fill up the sink.
The drip bucket was moldy... I threw it out, Went to cut up a milk jug to replace it and found Matty'd not rinsed it out so I had extremely sour milk to deal with,.
I bought a new faucet last year... haven't gotten it installed yet...
I need to do laundry. I wanted Matty to get his done first. I told him that... He hasn't done so though. I waited as long as I could.
I want some time in my home alone. I want to talk to my bird without feeling like someone else may be listening. I want to dance around my house. I want to be able to move around without fearing tripping on someone or waking them up.
I want room to move around without fearing breaking a bunch of stuff.
A want to know what's going on.
I want dependability.
Matty found the avocados he bought the other day had molded, along with a mango. I found 2 thoroughly molded yellow squash in the fridge the other night. I keep asking Matty to go through the fridge and throw out what's rotten. I believe the squash molded ridiculously fast, so I'm not blaming him on that one.,.. but I doubt the yogurt is any good.
I'm horrible at judging if things are safe to eat or not... so often things rot that probably were okay while I wait on a response as to if they're still edible.
Matty said he was quitting smoking when we first started sorta getting involved with each other. I'm sitting here by a bunch of completely used up butts. It's nasty. I always said I wouldn't date a smoker. I broke that little vow. I hate that I did.
I'm afraid to stand up for myself.
I feel used.
I've been spending a lot more time wondering what Matty's feelings really are for me.
I wonder what his motive are.
I've had a tendency over the years to be as useless as possible to try to keep from being used.
I still can't trust people.
I find it ironic that Matty and I got in a conversation over people taking advantage of people once there's an ounce of generosity given.
I thought I was helping him to get a place of his own. I thought I was helping him get out of a bad situation caused by rude roommates.
Our issues don't mesh.
Currently in a bad mood and feeling icky.
About a year ago Matty said he'd get the dishes. I'm STILL waiting. Yes, I'm that stubborn. A few weeks ago? he transferred them from the sink and into a bucket. They're still sitting in my recycling bin.
There are empty bottles everywhere. I keep asking Matty to rinse his out but he never gets around to it. I gathered some of them up and put them in front of his computer around his mouse. He moved them to in front of the sink, so they'd be all together and handy for when he went to wash things. They got kicked around the kitchen... and I just rinsed them... one had mold in it.
There are cans starting to fill up the sink.
The drip bucket was moldy... I threw it out, Went to cut up a milk jug to replace it and found Matty'd not rinsed it out so I had extremely sour milk to deal with,.
I bought a new faucet last year... haven't gotten it installed yet...
I need to do laundry. I wanted Matty to get his done first. I told him that... He hasn't done so though. I waited as long as I could.
I want some time in my home alone. I want to talk to my bird without feeling like someone else may be listening. I want to dance around my house. I want to be able to move around without fearing tripping on someone or waking them up.
I want room to move around without fearing breaking a bunch of stuff.
A want to know what's going on.
I want dependability.
Matty found the avocados he bought the other day had molded, along with a mango. I found 2 thoroughly molded yellow squash in the fridge the other night. I keep asking Matty to go through the fridge and throw out what's rotten. I believe the squash molded ridiculously fast, so I'm not blaming him on that one.,.. but I doubt the yogurt is any good.
I'm horrible at judging if things are safe to eat or not... so often things rot that probably were okay while I wait on a response as to if they're still edible.
Matty said he was quitting smoking when we first started sorta getting involved with each other. I'm sitting here by a bunch of completely used up butts. It's nasty. I always said I wouldn't date a smoker. I broke that little vow. I hate that I did.
I'm afraid to stand up for myself.
I feel used.
I've been spending a lot more time wondering what Matty's feelings really are for me.
I wonder what his motive are.
I've had a tendency over the years to be as useless as possible to try to keep from being used.
I still can't trust people.
I find it ironic that Matty and I got in a conversation over people taking advantage of people once there's an ounce of generosity given.
I thought I was helping him to get a place of his own. I thought I was helping him get out of a bad situation caused by rude roommates.
Our issues don't mesh.