i just cant believe it
i just can't fuckin believe it
i was talkin to her on the phone on saturday (today) and i felt so guilty and like a complete asshole for what i did....i had to tell her what i did and once i did i heard that tone of voice she gets when shes pissed, my stomach tied in a knot and my heart sank... i felt like absolute shit and i wanted to beat the shit out of myself
then i asked her the one question i didnt wanna ask.... but i had to.... i had to know....
i was so scared to ask it because i feared her saying "yes" or "maybe" or anything but "no"....
i was so scared to ask because i knew that if she did answer anything but "no" then i wouldn't see sunday morning alive
i finally asked her as best i could trying not to burst out crying"
"are you gonna leave me because of this?"
....
"no, i never will leave you ever"
i just burst out crying and stopped and talked with her for a little bit more but when i hung up the phone i sobbed the hardest i ever have for about 20 minutes
the only thing i wanted at that moment was to be in her arms...
right now my emotions are so deeply touched, and even writing this now i'm crying
i talked to john after i got hold of my emotions and i told john everything and was on the virge of breaking down...
i'll never forget the last thing he said before the phone cut out......
"next time u wanna light up, just think about her...."
merritt, i love you more than anything and thank you so much for understanding what happened and i'm so sorry, i miss you so much and i cant explain how much better you've made my life, and how much you've changed me for good
ur all that my life is.... i'll see you this week... i miss you and i love you
- mike
i was talkin to her on the phone on saturday (today) and i felt so guilty and like a complete asshole for what i did....i had to tell her what i did and once i did i heard that tone of voice she gets when shes pissed, my stomach tied in a knot and my heart sank... i felt like absolute shit and i wanted to beat the shit out of myself
then i asked her the one question i didnt wanna ask.... but i had to.... i had to know....
i was so scared to ask it because i feared her saying "yes" or "maybe" or anything but "no"....
i was so scared to ask because i knew that if she did answer anything but "no" then i wouldn't see sunday morning alive
i finally asked her as best i could trying not to burst out crying"
"are you gonna leave me because of this?"
....
"no, i never will leave you ever"
i just burst out crying and stopped and talked with her for a little bit more but when i hung up the phone i sobbed the hardest i ever have for about 20 minutes
the only thing i wanted at that moment was to be in her arms...
right now my emotions are so deeply touched, and even writing this now i'm crying
i talked to john after i got hold of my emotions and i told john everything and was on the virge of breaking down...
i'll never forget the last thing he said before the phone cut out......
"next time u wanna light up, just think about her...."
merritt, i love you more than anything and thank you so much for understanding what happened and i'm so sorry, i miss you so much and i cant explain how much better you've made my life, and how much you've changed me for good
ur all that my life is.... i'll see you this week... i miss you and i love you
- mike