chapter five: zac
Zac
“Zac, make yourself useful!”
I laughed as I continued to run my finger across the leftover batter in the bowl. My mother’s birthday was today, and Bridget pranced out of bed at eight to start on the cake she had her heart set on making. She knew my mother’s favorite was strawberry from a previous conversation. My sisters had been planning a surprise party for Mom for months now, and Bridget was so excited they had asked her to take part in the celebration.
Bridget sighed in exasperation. “Out of the kitchen!” She pointed towards the doorway.
I pretended to look insulted. “This is my kitchen!” I exclaimed.
“Not if you’re just going to stand there,” she replied, taking the bowl away from me.
I made a pouted face. “C’mon Bridget, be nice.”
She turned to face me. I noticed she had a bit of batter in her hair and dab of icing on her nose and cheek. “What?” she asked as I stared.
I giggled and shook my head. “You’re the chef.”
“No, why are you laughing?” she asked.
Smiling, I touched my finger to her nose and licked the remaining icing off of my finger. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”
She began wiping her face with the back of her hand.
“It’s in your hair, too,” I said, watching her with a smirk.
“Zaaaac!” she wailed.
I enveloped her in my arms, bringing her closer to me. We kissed. “I’m sorry. You’re just irresistible.”
So we got sidetracked and ended up making love instead. We lie there for an hour or so afterwards, just holding each other. She had her head on my chest, and I stroked her hair. I could feel her breathing. I didn’t want this to end.
Bridget never failed to amaze me as days passed by. Ever since the fourth of July, those three words continued to mean even more than they did with each second that ticked away. I wanted to be with her more. When we were apart, my body ached for her. When she wasn’t sleeping over, it seemed like the whole night was nothing but a bore. I felt like we’d last forever, through thick and thin, through hell and high water. We would be unstoppable. She was everything-beautiful, kind, carefree, rational…I could go on and on about all of the qualities that seemed to stick out.
I was almost asleep when I heard, “Oh my God, Zac! We’re going to be late if we don’t hurry up and get dressed.”
She was up, scrounging for articles of clothing on the floor. I slugged out of bed and pulled on my boxers and jeans. She was already coming out of the bathroom with her hair tied into a messy bun and fully dressed.
“Zac! Come on!” she exclaimed, throwing me a tee shirt that was lying in a chair next to the bed.
I didn’t speed on the way to my parents’ house. I wanted to be alone with Bridget. I felt like turning around. I knew she was looking forward to surprising my mother. I think it’s because Bridget’s mother died when she was eleven from lymphoma. I don’t believe that she had had much of a motherly figure since that had happened. My mother didn’t shun Bridget away either. She made her feel like her very own daughter.
“So, is the whole family coming?” Bridget asked, disturbing my thoughts.
I nodded. “Yup. All five billion of us.”
“You’re lucky, Zac. You have such a good relationship with all of them,” she replied, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
“Not everyone,” I said, thinking of Taylor.
She read my mind. “Oh, come on, Zac. What is with you guys? Why don’t you guys talk? What happened?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s just the way he is.”
“And how is that?” she pressed.
“Ugh, Bridget, I don’t feel like getting into a bad mood.” I was getting annoyed quickly.
“Well, you’re always huffing and puffing at the mention of him, and I want to know why,” she demanded calmly.
“He’s just a selfish asshole,” I stated bluntly.
“That says a lot,” Bridget responded sarcastically.
“You don’t understand,” I said. “He’s not your brother. You don’t know him. You don’t want to know him.”
She shrugged and didn’t bother saying anything else. I guess she had given up. I was glad because I didn’t feel like discussing him. He was not someone I looked forward to seeing either. But then I began thinking. I couldn’t leave Bridget clueless. She deserved to know why he was a jerk, for her own safety.
“I’ll tell you,” I said quietly.
Bridget looked at me and waited for me to start.
“All of my life, Bridget,” I began shakily, “he’s done nothing but take everything away from me.”
She cocked her head, as if she were trying to understand me.
“It’s like this,” I said with a sigh, “I was always nothing but his shadow. I lived in the back of all of his glory.” I paused. “I was nothing to anyone. I was just some backdrop in the band. I was just there. I didn’t matter. And he soaked up all of that fame faster than lightning. It was like he changed overnight. He started sleeping around, doing drugs, other shit you can probably think of for yourself…” I trailed off, remembering. “He didn’t even mean to meet Natalie, his wife. He slept with her too, and then she ended up pregnant. He just got lucky. She loved him. He loved her. It tore him to pieces when she died.”
“So maybe he changed,” she suggested.
“I doubt it. He could at least attempt to talk to me,” I muttered.
“Maybe he’s afraid to talk to you. Look how much of an asshole you’re being. You can’t even let go of old feelings.” Although she was blunt, she was honest.
I didn’t say a word as we kept driving. She turned the radio on and hummed along.