I Missed Life
So, finally.
For the first time in a long time
Maybe ever...
I can imagine something: Happiness.
It feels so good, like the warm rays of the sun
against bare skin.
Doesn't have to be so lonely
Won't let it be
that's what I grew up with
Cheerful days that the night only revealed to be lies
Sitting there
Staring
Swirling the liquid that would drown her feelings
her life
When there was no reason to be unhappy
those were your choices
you could have changed them
Instead, pointing fingers
no one asked you to sacrifice
your happiness jumped out of a plane
and I was the parachute
What I learned is that
happiness is within
its how beautiful you feel
how beautiful you want to feel
how you want to share your light with others
and to deny yourself somebody to love you-
is a punishment no body deserves.
Even prisoners on death row.
No human should live feeling
unimportant, unloved, unfulfilled
as though their existence doesn't matter.
It is something that starts within the self
something you have to want and feel your deserve
my problem has always been
I was afraid to be a flower
because I didn't like my roots.
How can you become who you want to be
when you dispise where you come from?
And so, I said I'd do it tomorrow
I didn't mean take out the trash
I meant life.
Real honest hard core living.
Smiles comming out of nowhere
laughing
loving somebody
being loved
I would do it tomorrow.
The problem was: tomorrow was a very long time ago.
In an attempt to put off all the bad things that could happen
I was unhappy and disapointed in myself
and I didn't want to "live" my days with who I was at the moment.
In order to protect myself from the people who were closest to me from hurting me again
I disconnected
And I finally realized I was nobody's noone. And what I desperately wanted was to be somebody's someone.
Somebody's friend. Somebody's best-friend. Somebody's girlfriend. Somebody's inspiration. Somebody's Hero. Somebody's chance they wish they would have taken. Just SOMEBODY.
So now I realize I want to be somebody.
All this time that has past will never be returned to me.
It will go on without you, time and life.
You have to jump in now.
It's okay to be happy.
Because whether I'm happy or unhappy
the time will pan out the same
and in the end
all I will have missed
is life.
I'm not entirely there
but I know where I want to be
and in whose footsteps I do not want to follow
I need to revisit old wounds
patch them up
and move on.
After all, life has been waiting for me for a while.
The polite thing to do is always
accept an invitation.
For the first time in a long time
Maybe ever...
I can imagine something: Happiness.
It feels so good, like the warm rays of the sun
against bare skin.
Doesn't have to be so lonely
Won't let it be
that's what I grew up with
Cheerful days that the night only revealed to be lies
Sitting there
Staring
Swirling the liquid that would drown her feelings
her life
When there was no reason to be unhappy
those were your choices
you could have changed them
Instead, pointing fingers
no one asked you to sacrifice
your happiness jumped out of a plane
and I was the parachute
What I learned is that
happiness is within
its how beautiful you feel
how beautiful you want to feel
how you want to share your light with others
and to deny yourself somebody to love you-
is a punishment no body deserves.
Even prisoners on death row.
No human should live feeling
unimportant, unloved, unfulfilled
as though their existence doesn't matter.
It is something that starts within the self
something you have to want and feel your deserve
my problem has always been
I was afraid to be a flower
because I didn't like my roots.
How can you become who you want to be
when you dispise where you come from?
And so, I said I'd do it tomorrow
I didn't mean take out the trash
I meant life.
Real honest hard core living.
Smiles comming out of nowhere
laughing
loving somebody
being loved
I would do it tomorrow.
The problem was: tomorrow was a very long time ago.
In an attempt to put off all the bad things that could happen
I was unhappy and disapointed in myself
and I didn't want to "live" my days with who I was at the moment.
In order to protect myself from the people who were closest to me from hurting me again
I disconnected
And I finally realized I was nobody's noone. And what I desperately wanted was to be somebody's someone.
Somebody's friend. Somebody's best-friend. Somebody's girlfriend. Somebody's inspiration. Somebody's Hero. Somebody's chance they wish they would have taken. Just SOMEBODY.
So now I realize I want to be somebody.
All this time that has past will never be returned to me.
It will go on without you, time and life.
You have to jump in now.
It's okay to be happy.
Because whether I'm happy or unhappy
the time will pan out the same
and in the end
all I will have missed
is life.
I'm not entirely there
but I know where I want to be
and in whose footsteps I do not want to follow
I need to revisit old wounds
patch them up
and move on.
After all, life has been waiting for me for a while.
The polite thing to do is always
accept an invitation.