Open Letters
Today, I bring to you, rather than a long boring post, a series of open letters.
Dear Tim Gunn's Guide to Style,
I want to like you, I really do, even though you and I both know that you are just a cheap rip off of 'What Not to Wear'. But, the fact that you keep telling my TiVo that every single airing of your show is a first-run and not, in fact, a repeat IS. NOT. HELPING. Please stop. My TiVo doesn't need any help filling up. Believe me.
Annoyed,
-C
Dear Annoying Guy from South Bend I met at a party,
You are from Central Northern Indiana. I am from North Central Indiana. Here is a visual aide:
You see, in my case, Central describes Indiana, and North describes Central. The reverse is true for you. This is how English works.
Please do not try to correct me when you are so obviously wrong, especially not aloud to a group of people I don't know. You are an asshole.
Smarter than You,
-C
Dear Neighbor,
I appreciate you taking pity on the poor, dead plants on my patio by watering them with your hose from your patio. But must you do it at 5 in the morning? Not only does it wake me up, but it makes me think it's raining, and then I plan a whole rainy day wardrobe in my head, so I get all flustered and behind when I wake up and it's beautiful and sunny outside. My plants thank you. I do not.
Black-thumbed,
-C
Dear Elisabeth Moss,
How so adorable? Seriously, can you just come live in my pocket?
Seriously Girl Crushing,
-C
Dear Jon Hamm,
Thank you for not sucking on SNL. I'm ashamed to admit it, but this made me lol. Hard.
"Feel like a dummy yet? 'Cause you should."
Drooling,
-C
Dear Tim Gunn's Guide to Style,
I want to like you, I really do, even though you and I both know that you are just a cheap rip off of 'What Not to Wear'. But, the fact that you keep telling my TiVo that every single airing of your show is a first-run and not, in fact, a repeat IS. NOT. HELPING. Please stop. My TiVo doesn't need any help filling up. Believe me.
Annoyed,
-C
Dear Annoying Guy from South Bend I met at a party,
You are from Central Northern Indiana. I am from North Central Indiana. Here is a visual aide:
You see, in my case, Central describes Indiana, and North describes Central. The reverse is true for you. This is how English works.
Please do not try to correct me when you are so obviously wrong, especially not aloud to a group of people I don't know. You are an asshole.
Smarter than You,
-C
Dear Neighbor,
I appreciate you taking pity on the poor, dead plants on my patio by watering them with your hose from your patio. But must you do it at 5 in the morning? Not only does it wake me up, but it makes me think it's raining, and then I plan a whole rainy day wardrobe in my head, so I get all flustered and behind when I wake up and it's beautiful and sunny outside. My plants thank you. I do not.
Black-thumbed,
-C
Dear Elisabeth Moss,
How so adorable? Seriously, can you just come live in my pocket?
Seriously Girl Crushing,
-C
Dear Jon Hamm,
Thank you for not sucking on SNL. I'm ashamed to admit it, but this made me lol. Hard.
"Feel like a dummy yet? 'Cause you should."
Drooling,
-C