Just to know when one is cold...
Ok, so I have known about this pandora.com website for awhile, and I have been the stupid asshole who never checked out its greatness. I'm seriously an idiot sometimes. But its all good, because I have found some new music that I have been longing for. Actually...I really want to buy a couple of cds now...the last one I bought was at the Evergreen Terrace show I went to in Providence with the boys this past summer. Holy shit thats a long time. If you guys havent check it out yet, do it now. Its amazing.
Things are starting to pick up. I no longer find my apathy "good enough." ALthough I am still struck with serious laziness as far as school is concerned, I have bumped my efforts up a bit to make up for it. I feel motivared like I used to be. I'm still faced with not knowing what to do with my life, I used to always have a plan and now that's gone. A part of my finds that to be a sad, sad shame. And the there is the part of me who feels like it is pretty appropriate, like I am moving through the motions to move onto something that I am suposed to do (in some weird fate-like way).
Fate. I dont know if i would call all the many many situation in my life by that word, but it is something real close to that. I dont feel so much angst anymore, I feel change but I embrace it. I'm starting to look forward to summer and all i want to do and enjoy. and, damn that feels good to know that I am going to make the most of where i will be living, who i will be with, my abilities...
So I was accosted by that freak Alex on Sunday when i was coming home from work. Needless to say it scared the shit out of me, and now i feel liek i have to keep watching my back when i am in the hood. Im not scared of the streets or who is on them in any way, but this dude def has it out for me. I dont think i could convey the hatred he had in his eyes towards me that night. I may have almost peed my pants. Or pooped. That kind of freaked out. I have made some very bad drunken decisions, he was one of many. And unfortunateky i am paying for it now.
Hey jed! remember "I THINK I JUST PEED MYSELF!" Ah good times. i probably fucked up that quote in some way, shape or form cause i suck a quoting. good thing im not a journalism major, or i def would be seeing my future career spining out of control more so than i already am with WLP.
I think of the various people in my life at the moment, and wonder what it is they may see me as. I dont think it would ever change me doing what i do, but it would be interesting to know. BD is always honest and i love that bitch for that. Not many people have the balls to agree with me when i say that i am fragile and weak at times.
Yay.
I'm happy. Scared. Emotional. Agressive. Lazy. Rowdy. But im not angry anymore, im not hurt. but i will take all that i feel as it comes. Im so glad for the way things are, and yea as things get better, they will eventually get worse. thats life, and cheers to that. If things didnt get low, then i wouldnt be so satisfied with what little i have in my grasp now.
Things are starting to pick up. I no longer find my apathy "good enough." ALthough I am still struck with serious laziness as far as school is concerned, I have bumped my efforts up a bit to make up for it. I feel motivared like I used to be. I'm still faced with not knowing what to do with my life, I used to always have a plan and now that's gone. A part of my finds that to be a sad, sad shame. And the there is the part of me who feels like it is pretty appropriate, like I am moving through the motions to move onto something that I am suposed to do (in some weird fate-like way).
Fate. I dont know if i would call all the many many situation in my life by that word, but it is something real close to that. I dont feel so much angst anymore, I feel change but I embrace it. I'm starting to look forward to summer and all i want to do and enjoy. and, damn that feels good to know that I am going to make the most of where i will be living, who i will be with, my abilities...
So I was accosted by that freak Alex on Sunday when i was coming home from work. Needless to say it scared the shit out of me, and now i feel liek i have to keep watching my back when i am in the hood. Im not scared of the streets or who is on them in any way, but this dude def has it out for me. I dont think i could convey the hatred he had in his eyes towards me that night. I may have almost peed my pants. Or pooped. That kind of freaked out. I have made some very bad drunken decisions, he was one of many. And unfortunateky i am paying for it now.
Hey jed! remember "I THINK I JUST PEED MYSELF!" Ah good times. i probably fucked up that quote in some way, shape or form cause i suck a quoting. good thing im not a journalism major, or i def would be seeing my future career spining out of control more so than i already am with WLP.
I think of the various people in my life at the moment, and wonder what it is they may see me as. I dont think it would ever change me doing what i do, but it would be interesting to know. BD is always honest and i love that bitch for that. Not many people have the balls to agree with me when i say that i am fragile and weak at times.
Yay.
I'm happy. Scared. Emotional. Agressive. Lazy. Rowdy. But im not angry anymore, im not hurt. but i will take all that i feel as it comes. Im so glad for the way things are, and yea as things get better, they will eventually get worse. thats life, and cheers to that. If things didnt get low, then i wouldnt be so satisfied with what little i have in my grasp now.