PASD
Has anyone heard of Post Abortion Stress Disorder? It's basically like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There's debate over whether or not it exists but I can tell you it does. Worse than the trauma is the regret. I did it because everyone I know pressured me into it, and I would give anything to go back and undo it. I'm so angry at them. But I'm the angriest at myself. Because no one could make me do it. I had the final word. They asked me if it was my choice. All the lies I've told in my life... I know I hurt a lot of people. But I never intended to tell a lie that would take a life. I know I can't change things now; it is what it is. But it's something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And as much anger as I have at everyone around me, what consumes me is the hatred I have for myself. Everyone tells me I made the right choice. I'm not one to judge others for doing it; each person is entitled to their own view. But to me it's not a choice. It's murder. That everyone around me condones it just hurts me further. I don't deserve exoneration..... but no punishment could be worse than the regret I carry with me every moment of every day.